stop! and make your mind up

via @corazondebeskar

When I was first starting to work on my mental health, I didn't really have healthy friendships to model my self care off of. I'd read advice like the post above and feel completely at a loss. What is "compassion" and "self care", if it's not trying to motivate yourself to eat and sleep??

So I learned to play a game I call....

"IT'S MY FIRST DAY ON THIS PLANET"

The space metaphor works best for me bc I'm a scifi nerd but... you could get isekai'd, or kidnapped by one direction, or you're a newly sentient robot, or you woke up with amnesia, or whatever else makes you feel like you're experiencing a strange new world for the first time.

It doesn't need to be a whole backstory - you just need to remember the Feeling of it. New things can be scary, delightful, boring... the only thing you can do is experience it & observe carefully.

HOW IT WORKS: Whenever you catch yourself being mean, you pretend it's your first day on the planet & re-shape the thought accordingly.

"AUGH I can't do anything right!!" -> It's My First Day On This Planet -> "Maybe this world works differently than mine. How does it work here?"

"Everyone hates me." -> It's My First Day On This Planet -> "They may be operating under different social conditions than my home planet. I should ask a local how I'm coming across, and modify my behavior if needed."

"There's something deeply and fundamentally wrong with me." -> It's My First Day On This Planet -> "Of course. I'm an alien! It'd be weird if I DIDN'T feel abnormal on this planet! What can I do to make myself feel more comfortable while I'm stuck here?"

"I can't do [enjoyable new activity] because I don't deserve it." -> It's My First Day On This Planet -> "Deserve?? It's your duty to explore and experience what this planet has to offer! Go do the new thing!"

This whole thing works especially well when paired with these ancient words of wisdom:

If you can ship them three together? :