I just got. The single funniest dm I've ever received in my entire life
Characters in media fighting back against the mind control:
Today's Document
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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Monterey Bay Aquarium

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d e v o n
sheepfilms

i don't do bad sauce passes

oozey mess

@theartofmadeline

Origami Around
Claire Keane

Discoholic 🪩
Mike Driver

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
Sweet Seals For You, Always

Love Begins
One Nice Bug Per Day
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@astralmagpie
I just got. The single funniest dm I've ever received in my entire life
Characters in media fighting back against the mind control:

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baby capybara named Tupi via san antonio zoo
tom nook is NOT a landlord!!! he is a construction worker! he SELLS you a WHOLE HOUSE! He is not CHARGING YOU however many bells a month to live there! You PURCHASE a HOME that he BUILDS FOR YOU and then you PAY HIM FOR HIS SERVICE. He charges no interest he sets no time limit it is a relationship built on trust. the only penalty you get for not paying off your home is that he won't build more home until you pay him for the first one. A guy that builds you a house wherever you want him to and then charges you for the cost of construction is not a landlord you own the fucking home
He is, however, in the mafia
I see your “Rocky swears like a sailor but only in pitches humans can’t hear/refuses to teach Grace what those words mean” and raise you “Rocky swears like a sailor and now has to explain to Grace that ‘bad bad bad’ isn’t actually a sequence you play on your Eridian speech piano in polite company.”
Grace is both horrified and amused to realise that a more accurate translation for what Rocky’s been saying is “shit shit shit”.
Eridian government representative: Greetings Rocky, Saviour of Erid, and Grace, Saviour from Beyond the Stars. We are pleased to welcome you home.
Grace, haltingly on the keyboard Rocky built for him: Wassup bitches. Fucking jazzed to—
Rocky: GRACE STOP TALKING NOW NOW NOW I EXPLAIN LATER
Grace: "Huh? Rocky, are you switching languages on me? I don't know any of those words! Please, I'm trying to make a good impression on your people!"
Rocky, in dawning horror, realizes he can either 1) continue speaking polite, non-swearing Eridian and have Grace not understand his warnings or 2) he can repeat his instruction in the language Grace will understand, and every Eridian in earshot will understand exactly where the alien learned his potty mouth.
I’m so tired of the “why do people hate aspecs, they aren’t doing anything?” argument. I know that it is an attempt to support us, but it fails so spectacularly to understand aromanticism, asexuality, and any other aspec identity that it’s actively frustrating.
We are doing something. We’re rejecting allonormative ideals and that’s a massive thing to do. We’re actively fighting not just to help other aspecs, but to help everyone, because amatonormativity (and allonormativity as a whole) hurt everyone. Single people who want to find a partner but can’t also deserve to be able to exist.
There are so many issues with the expectation of marriage, including:
A single income isn't enough to get by anymore
Having a spouse is almost necessary under the current medical system
Society shames and pressures people who are single to get into relationships constantly
Rejecting allonormativity means fighting against these things that hurt everyone.
So, no, aces and aros and other aspecs aren't "doing nothing." We're doing quite a lot.

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a writer’s struggle
There's an awful trend in reading that's this CinemaSins kind of rejection of abstract concepts and suspension of disbelief, that makes people say it's bad writing when authors use descriptions that aren't immediately one to one with physical reality.
Like it's bad when a "tattoo is undulating" (as opposed to... "drawn in a wave like pattern on the skin"?), or when hair is "wet wheat from a late Summer field" (as opposed to "sort of brownish light yellow that dries lighter, but is not actual wheat stalks growing on someone's head but kind of reminiscent of the color and texture"?), or when when ice cream tastes like midnight at the fair" (as opposed to "ice cream flavour bringing back memories of undefined ice cream flavours that are individually popular but always tied to a memory of late evening at the fair ground and probably smelling vaguely like popcorn and sugar"?).
Please. We have to get back to understanding abstract descriptions that evoke feelings and memories and mental images or things we haven't experienced yet. This hyper utilitarian way of reading and judging text is killing fiction. it's robbing you of experiencing things you haven't actually personally experienced.
Hear me out: the funniest way to read the Emperor's Hand is as Darth Sidious accidentally honoring the traditions of his homeworld.
Because obviously TTT, Mara Jade, and the Emperor's Hand as a concept predate both the PT and Palpatine being from Naboo, but they're all perfectly backwards compatible.
And the Naboo handmaiden system is objectively insane.
I love it! It rules!
It is ALSO insane.
George Lucas was, as always, operating primarily on vibes and mythic imagery rather than asking uncomfortable sociological questions, but if you stop and think about the institution for more than a solid minute, it immediately starts raising eyebrows.
What kind of society elects a teenage queen and then surrounds her with a cadre of teenage noblewomen trained to impersonate her, carry weapons, participate in security operations, keep state secrets, and potentially DIE in her place?? That's not even a hypothetical, that's Cordé.
That's a state security apparatus specifically created from child soldiers wearing silk and makeup.
My favorite headcanon is that the answer lies buried in the institution itself!
Once upon a time, someone kept trying to kill the Queen.
Maybe it was rival houses. Maybe succession disputes. Maybe civil war. Doesn't really matter, the point is that Naboo's history was far uglier than its idyllic image suggests.
Eventually some desperate monarch, cornered by enemies and running out of options, came up with a brilliant solution: every major noble family would send a daughter to court. They would be honored guests publicly ... functionally they would also be hostages. They would be trained to fight, trained to serve, trained to imitate the Queen's speech and mannerisms so thoroughly that no assassin could ever be entirely certain who they were killing.
Viewed through that lens, the institution suddenly starts making a little more sense. What noble is going to sponsor a plot against the throne when the young woman wearing the crown might actually be his own daughter? Every major family now has a personal stake in the monarch's survival. The knives are still there, but now everyone has to think twice before drawing them.
Over centuries, the original purpose becomes obscured. The hostages become companions. The companions become handmaidens. The coercion gets wrapped in honor.
Which is exactly how cultural institutions survive.
And if you accept that premise, Naboo becomes a much more interesting place. Beneath the fountains and beautiful architecture is a society that normalized masks, doubles, hidden identities and carefully managed appearances.
The Queen pretends to be a handmaiden.
The handmaiden pretends to be the Queen.
Political survival depends on controlling appearances.
Which is EXACTLY THE CULTURE that should produce a Sith Lord in the exact flavor of Darth Sidious.
For most Naboo, the culture of masks and doubles becomes a defensive adaptation; for Palpatine, it becomes a worldview. The future Emperor spends decades pretending to be a kindly public servant while secretly engineering galactic catastrophe. He presents himself as a grandfatherly statesman while running the largest conspiracy in galactic history. He doesn't reject Naboo's political culture; he internalizes it and weaponizes it. Which is extremely Sith.
And then we get to the handmaidens themselves.
Because I am convinced that Senator Palpatine watched the events of TPM unfold and took notes.
Imagine him sitting there watching a bunch of fourteen-year-old girls with blasters repeatedly interfere with his plans.
Not just the Jedi or elite soldiers or master spies.
Handmaidens.
Loyal. Adaptable. Good at disguises. Comfortable with deception. Willing to risk their lives for the person they serve. Every time one of Padmé's girls successfully pulls off another switcheroo or security operation, Palpatine's reaction isn't just annoyance but professional admiration.
Somewhere in the back of his mind there has to be a moment of: I want one.
Not a handmaiden, exactly. That's too obviously Naboo. But the concept? The concept is excellent.
Fast forward a few decades!
Palpatine is Emperor now. He takes the idea apart and rebuilds it according to Sith principles.
He keeps the loyalty. He keeps the secrecy. He keeps the personal service and the ability to operate independently. He keeps the willingness to sacrifice everything for the person at the center of the system. Then he strips away the humanity and replaces it with possession. He adds espionage, assassination, manipulation, and dark side conditioning.
Hmm, needs less sisterhood and more murder.
The result of course is Mara Jade.
At some point he absolutely had to workshop the title.
"Emperor's Handmaiden?"
No. Too obvious.
"Emperor's Hand."
Perfect, print it.
Everything gets scaled up, militarized, stripped of its humanity, and rebuilt in obsidian.
Which feels phenomenally appropriate for the dark side. Sith don't invent things from whole cloth. They corrupt, distort, and take something that already exists and twist it into a more selfish, controlling form.
And that's exactly what Palpatine does with Naboo. For all his claims of transcending ordinary beings, for all his efforts to become something greater than human, he never really stops being a product of his homeworld.
He just takes every institution he inherited and asks himself what the most evil possible version would look like.
The final irony is Mara herself.
Because in this reading she's the dark reflection of a Naboo handmaiden. She is the culmination of Palpatine's attempt to recreate and weaponize one of the defining institutions of his youth.
She's like the cultural fusion of Naboo and Sith cultures. Culturally orange chicken.
And after all that effort, after decades of planning and conditioning and control, she eventually defects, marries Luke Skywalker, and gets absorbed into the very family that destroys everything Palpatine built.
That's Star Wars AF.
Every single fic update there is an author trying frantically to find the right balance between a nonchalant aside of "leave a comment if you enjoyed =)" and clinging desperately to the coat tails of a random stranger, dragging along behind them on the street wailing "Please, please! I have to know what you thought! I'm desperate to talk to people about this! Ask me about the alliterative repetition! Ask me about the symbolism!"
@the-communist-unicorn peak comment
yknow its interesting how something can impact one demographic in a completely different way than everyone else. in the exorcist when the demon starts speaking in greek, to most people its creepy. but if youre greek and you suddenly start hearing the demon speak perfect fucking greek its genuinely the biggest scare of the movie. you just do not expect to ever hear your language in american movies so it catches you so badly off guard, it feels like the movie is talking directly to you
the first time my dad saw it, it was with his american friends. and when she started speaking greek he turned to one of them and was like "re malaka did you hear that in english?"

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similarly to how you should never trust gamers with a nonbinary character i feel like you can also never trust a fandom with an aroace character. whether it's explicitly canon or implied it just ends up the same
every time an allo person wants to ship an aroace spec coded character they should write an essay with MLA format citations on how this serves the themes of the story and is necessary for the character and how their ship is any different than the relationships said character already has and they should also send $500 dollars minimum to at least one aroace person in their fandom
"but people can do whatever they want!!!" i don't caaaaaare go examine your biases and cry about it or i'm blowing both of us up
If you're going to use "shipping" to explore the variations of what an acespec and/or arospec relationship can look like, that's one thing. If you're going to use it to just create a new gay or straight ship while throwing away all the queer/non-normative traits of the aspec character, I can't stop you, but I will suspect you're writing about your own made-up character who you've simply disguised as an existing character.
the doctor who episode that's both about an endless hotel that was built to house an ancient god and the way the main character's arrogant nature harms the people around him being titled "The God Complex" is maybe the most jealous i've been of a title ever. i should have thought of that.
Watching the latest episode of Um, Actually while procrastinating writing my coe33 fic when a Clair Obscure question comes up and I’m taking that as a sign to close the tab and start writing

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you can believe victims about what they experienced and also not want to torch the lives of the people they've accused without proof. that is a space you can walk in and usually it's not even that hard. I say this as a survivor of domestic violence. "believe victims" doesn't mean get torches and pitchforks any more than "innocent until proven guilty" means victims are lying. please please learn this "believe victims" isn't about the perpetrators it's about the victims
writers and artists everywhere all the time