rad-roche

i don't want to overstate the risk of what was happening to me, cancer was always unlikely, but it's hard not to worry when you're carrying around a very visible mass, and particularly when it's large enough for other people to comment on and fret about. questions get asked when you have a lump as large as a closed fist slap bang in the middle of your neck! it's hard not to fret without a solid diagnosis. i'm awaiting some tests still, and what is specifically wrong is still a mystery, but already feel better for having ruled that out and having a doctor confirm that my blood is, indeed, absolutely crazy in there

as it stands, i grew up in pretty difficult circumstances, so i've always been a one day at a time type person, even now as things are much calmer, relatively speaking. i certainly have long term goals, and this recent introspection has made me consider them as well as myself. you might have noticed already, but i'm endeavouring to be a little more social on social media. interacting more outside of posting art and dipping, posting about games and movies and such. i realised that, if it was bad news and my time would be limited, i think you as an audience wouldn't know much about me, the person, and the thought of that filled me with a kind of sadness. i'm going to strike a better balance between rarely talking about myself at all vs posting colonoscopy on main

short term, i'd like to wrap up imbrium! i got laid low by my orb (or orbs, plural, it's looking like my problems are my parathyroid), but plugging away on it intermittently brings me a lot of joy. longer term, i'd like to get biomasse off the ground! i've had plots and schemes cooked up this whole time. this was supposed to be the year i launched it, but i got ill before i could start. i'd like to write, and publish, original fiction in some form. indie or through a publishing house, no idea which. ai seems to have run rampant over the world since the last time i looked into this, so i don't know if things are different now