Aroacespec and Aspec Vents

Aspec Venting Space!

sometimes i get sad that in me being aroace, I'll always be judged if I show any attraction ever. no matter who it is, even if it's not romantic or sexual. like even though I'm aroace I can still find people hot! it's just I don't want to date them or fuck them. is that so hard to understand?

i wanna be in a qpr sooo bad. like no i can't handle romance i just want to experience deep platonic love. oh my goddd being cupio and wanting this so badly is making me insane. i just wanna care for somebody, love somebody. and i feel so out of place with the community, because i also don't feel romantic attraction but i want to, so badly, and its not something most people r gonna get unless they also experience it. raaaaaaa universe give me a qpp and give them to me now!

one of the things i hate being aroace, has surprisingly nothing to do with my orientation. its kinda just the imposter syndrom(?) i get when theres like someone opposite gender like- i feel so pressured to be allo (even tho im not really pressuered by anyone its just. the world? society? LMAO idk.) and then i think for like 2 seconds and yeah no. absolutely not. it just sucks i cant be like other people. ithink i just want to fit in, (and i dont rly have any aroace friends irl, not ones i meet up w occasionally anywya) and im in a qpp qith 2 people, but i think they dont rly understamd. theyre both allo , and i hsve no idea how to like. talk to them? i feel awkward honestly. mostly cause i dont think they understand me, which makes me sad. um yeah.

i hate that I hate love.

I've been seeing so many posts by alloaros recently like "alloaces are seen as normal but alloaros are discriminated against" and "cishet aces are seen as straight but cishet aros are seen as queer in society" and "aces have privilege over aros actually" and these posts are liked and reblogged by so many people everyday. Okay so now acephobia in aro spaces is completely acceptable but god forbid an ace person dares to relate to aro experiences. Then it's suddenly bad and aphobic and "erasure of aros". It's like allosexual queer people see aces existing as "homophobia and purity culture in queer spaces" and only ever make assumptions about our experiences and refuse to listen to us. It's just especially heartbreaking when it comes from alloaros. And ace centric spaces have an arophobia problem too, with some aces demonising alloaros especially. But I always see other aces call arophobia out and shut it down immediately. I just wish alloaros had the same attitude towards acephobia instead of ignoring it just because "aros are less visible than aces". That is not an excuse for acephobia actually.

I'm a aroace woman, and I admire butch and masc women a lot that I have squish (platonic crush/aspec term) but people keep equating that to romantic or sexual attraction when I have stated many times that I don't feel attraction for any gender (very rarely, which is why Im a demigray also) I grew up around mainly men, and only woman I been around has been my mother so I usually admire and used to seeing masc a lot. so seeing masc women just gives me a sense of happiness in a way.

it’s just exhausting being the only one in my life. Like everyone else has a partner, is crushing on someone, has excited stories about the person they’re talking to, etc

I am cupioaroace, and actually this makes me feel an outsider from both a-spec and romance relaited specs. I never fell in love and nobody fell for me but I feel sad about it. I read stories of other people and they all say that they don't want romance and sex and that they're done with people falling for them and expecting relationship but I... I would be glad if someone fall for me, I love romantic stuff and all, I love affectionate gestures and all this little traditions for couples.

Not sure if this is just an wrong impression I get, but people seem to give up on any effort on befriending me once they find out I'm not a sexual person. Wish I could find friends that would talk about anything other than sex all the time.

Have any other aros accidentally foreshadowed their identity?

So I got some kind of funny things about being aroace.

im on the aspec, i dont know what it is exactly (mostly because labels stress me out) but i know i can feel romantic attraction i just dont feel the full extent. i've always been really good at noticing if people like me. it makes me feel grossed out and almost guilty because they do all this nice stuff for me. i always play stupid because of it. i feel selfish everytime someone confesses to me because it didnt have to be me, someone on the aroace spec. someone who could love them back. i feel terrible everytime i reject someone and it sucks so hard. i wish i could just be friends with someone without them falling for me. it makes me so frustrated because people dont want me for me, they want the version they created in their head and im so !!! done !!! ive told everyone "im not looking, i dont want a relationship" and yet they keep confessing knowing and expecting a relationship. its all so tiring and i fucking hate it.

I’m questioning for the first time in a while and it’s really unsettling. Figuring out my gender was a weird and varied but relatively smooth journey. Figuring out I was ace was,,, I was oblivious for the longest time, then I met other ace people and it clicked.