peecaulk

I think I might be about to send a deranged email

today the icebreaker question at work was "what are you dressing up as for halloween" and everyone's answers were "i don't think I'm dressing up this year" "i don't really dress up but my kid wants to be spiderman" "um i don't know maybe a zombie or something" and then it got to me and i had to be like "im being cloth mother and my roommate is being wire mother from the 1950s sociological experiment"

I really like this website because somebody will be like “there’s nothing wrong with darting out from behind a parked car into traffic, bootlicker” and you can be like okay this clearly evolved from a valid point about how the US is too car-centric. But something happened to it.

cd has a hole. record has a hole. casette has 2 holes. streaming? zero holes. i think i’ve made my point

they call me a master baiter because im very good at worming my fishing hook in a clean and efficient way that keeps the worm attached and secure. what, you thought i was gonna make a joke about masturbating ? hm. how crude. fish army kill them badly

my luminous mama

I think this better explained gerrymandering better to me than any explanation I've heard

last night my partner held a somber little passover seder to show me what it’s about and when they got to the part where they were supposed to open the door for elijah they paused, frowned, and said “oh. huh. there is a clown.” and I looked out. and sure enough. there was a clown.

The children yearn for the Tabloids