Aruzeus

has this ever been you: you have a nicely steamed vegetable, or maybe you want to make the best butter noodles, but you know that if you put butter on those it’ll just melt and you end with kind of greasy noodles or vegetables? don’t you wish it was instead a luscious buttery glaze?

introducing: beurre monté

you will take a small sauce pan, and begin heating it with 1-2 tablespoons of water (use very little water) and bring it to a hard simmer or boil

turn the heat down slightly, and add Butter. how much? however much you dare. (start with 3-4 tablespoons and go from there)

you are going to either whisk Aggressively or you can pick up the saucepan, still holding it over the heat, and swirl aggressively so the butter is skating around the sides of the pan

done correctly, you will have liquid butter that is still emulsified. you have made Butter Sauce. season it with a little salt, and toss whatever you want in it.

if you’re butter splits, i’m sorry. you didn’t agitate it enough to maintain the emulsion, and now you have melted butter.

you can use this knowledge to make other sauces by swapping out the water for another liquid. white wine becomes beurre blanc. red wine is beurre rogue.

you want to CUM? sweat minced shallot in a tiny bit of butter, add white wine and cook it out until it’s reduced by about half. then whisk butter in hard. a few flecks of minced thyme or fennel frond stirred thru, and you eat that with a nice seared fish? or scallop? or even shrimp? wow. you will Nut

your boxed mac and cheese game can also be elevated by cooking your pasta and making a beurre monté first, tossing your pasta in that and adding the cheese packet. wow. hey; you’ll cum

Artist: Kenshi Yonezu

- Spending time with cool trans people ( @mystery-incorporated-whore and I first got physical with our QPR on the 4th a few years back, I do highly recommend cuddling with your local transfemme goth)

- Eating a bunch of delicious food (I bake over a hundred cookies usually just for the party)

- drinking or smoking if you like (I will not be sober tomorrow)

One trans woman put out a lit blunt on the wrist of another trans woman, who responded by moaning so loud that her cry of ecstasy could be heard over the explosives overhead

A trans woman who isn't car-savvy mentioned that her car was giving her trouble, so all 6 cis men at the party grabbed beers and stood around her car as she revved the engine and tried to diagnose it for her, while I pounded a blunt in the passenger seat

Lesbian sex of a few different degrees