Totally human

I post for the divas who were never picked in heads up seven up

Did you step on it?

I forgot it was there & stepped on it, plummeting through the concealed trapdoor into the cellars. Please send help.

I can’t see anything! It’s pitch black down here. All that’s visible is my eyes.

Just make sure there isn’t a second, more dangerous pair of eyes somewhere around yours

Hey

got annoyed and then I remembered my beautiful wife "block button"

it's crazy how everyone shares my opinion in the entire world🌎 ignore my suspiciously large blocklist wife . she's just pregnant.

she's pregnant 🤰 and you're blocked 🚫

Has anyone thought of putting 80s music in a movie

A rat who's disagreeing with you: "squeak for yourself."

we are witnessing the gentrification of the term "tumblr sexyman" in real time and it is extremely disappointing. like no, live-action white boy #265 played by ryan gosling isn't a tumblr sexyman. i can't believe i have to say this but if it wouldn't get you shoved into a locker it probably isn't a sexyman

does anybody know how to get out of bed. or be a better person

being a trans girl feels like being the person who has to explain the rules of the board game to everybody but for everything in your life. including explaining the rules of board games.

When I was a little boy, girls used to just do random cartwheels for no reason. Then one day, they stopped. Now that I am a man, no women randomly do cartwheels. This is because society is evil and killed the cartwheel impulse in their soul. They don't even spin horizontally anymore. It's fucked up.

clicking 'stay signed in'-buttons used to mean that u would stay signed in

who wanna be friends with drawbacks

friends with consequences