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Being ace and hot is a nightmare sometimes, I met this guy in my neighborhood, we live literally 200m away from each other, he's funny and witty and a genuine delight to talk to, and YESTERDAY he makes it clear he's flirting so now I'm trying to figure out how to turn him down and also throw my single friends at him because he really is a great catch, but I don't eat fish so he's wasted on me.
So now I have to figure out how to say 'I think, based on your tastes, I have some girlfriends you might like and they'd love to take you home, doggy walking same time next week?' in human speak.
That was fun, amd I learned some things about myself! Namely that I would make an excellent scantly-clad servant bowing to a sadistic evil queen. 10/10 would do it again.
Transphobia is about to be signed into law in the UK. We can fight this.
I am begging the UK trans community and its allies to attend the Mass Lobby at Parliament on June 25th, 11am-4pm, organised by Trans Solidarity Alliance.
Last year we broke the record for an LGBT+ mass lobby of Parliament. Will you help us break it again? Join us on 25th June 2026 to demand be
The new EHRC Code of Practice pushes trans people out of toilets, hospital wards, and community spaces. It normalises gender policing based on appearance and stereotypes. It becomes statutory guidance in the UK by the end of June.
Trans people are now legally their assigned gender at birth and must join gendered spaces accordingly, but if they are perceived as their lived gender, they can also be ejected from those spaces. The guidance says: either break the law, or donāt pass too well.
A mass lobby is where you invite your MP to discuss your concerns with you in-person. Ask your MP to:
Demand full parliamentary scrutiny, debate, and use their free vote on the EHRC Code of Practice.
Support any motions rejecting the EHRC guidance. As of June 4th, Labour MP Nadia Whittome has submitted a prayer motion - Early Day Motion 240.
Write to Bridget Phillipson, the Minister for Women and Equalities about our concerns
Your MP does not have to be an ally, they do not have to respond to your email for you to show up and greencard them (details below the cut.) What matters is that as many people as possible show up.
I cannot stress this enough: Showing up in person matters. It is much more effective than petitions, emails, and letters.
It is a horrible, stressful time, and I am so sorry if you're trans and live in the UK. But I was at last year's mass lobby and the line for greencarding alone stretched around the back gates. It was a record breaking mass lobby and made us impossible to ignore. Let's do even better this time. Details under the cut:
Worried about what to say?
Bring your personal worries about transphobia being signed into law, and trans friends being excluded from public spaces. You are a living person who deserves dignity. Remind your MP of that. You will also get guidance and brochures from Trans Solidarity Alliance that outlines our demands. This is mine from last year.
Money issues?
Trans Solidarity Alliance provides a travel bursary that you can sign up for via the link.
Got a refusal or no response from your MP?Ā
Come anyway! You can request a same-day appointment with your MP through a process called greencarding. They will come and see you if theyāre already in Parliament. Even if they donāt, theyāre made acutely aware of your cause because you showed up in person. This is my greencard from last year.
Here is the EHRC Code of Practice in full. It's a tough read, but some highlights are:
Organisations canāt provide trans-inclusive, single-sex services, or they risk being sued for discrimination.
e.g. domestic violence support for women including trans women, menās rugby group including trans men (12.68).
Trans people will have nowhere safe to pee.
If youāre a trans man, businesses can't allow you to pee in the men's, and you can also be ejected from womenās bathrooms if youāre perceived as a man. Vice versa for trans women. EHRC suggests a āthird spaceā bathroom, which is discriminatory and unworkable for most businesses. (13.130-133)
Sports organisations must exclude trans people from single-sex competitions (13.73).Ā
A womenās only sports competition must exclude trans women because of their biological advantage or face potential lawsuits (13.74), but a trans man who has undergone testosterone treatment can also be excluded based on fairness rules (13.81).
Trans women are stripped of the legal definition of ālesbianā, and therefore no longer have legal protections if theyāre discriminated against on the basis of sexual orientation. (2.50, 2.92).
Here is the Good Law Project's better explanation of the EHRC Code.
I have also made a PDF printout of QR codes for the government petition, email your MP tool, and mass lobby link to pass around your communities. DM me and I'll send it to you.
It's funny that they still have the 'no smoking allowed' lights and warnings on every plane you fly on, as if there's a single flight you CAN smoke on any human has been on since the turn of the millenium at latest.
the funniest part is that they're lights, and the other lights turn off and on depending on circumstances, leading to the strange implication that there's some hypithy situation where the pilot is supposed to go "eh, why not?"
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"'I don't know' isn't an answer" alright man then I'll just. Fuckin. Enter my philosophical mind-palace and check the fuckin akashic records. Real quick lemme just catch and cook and eat the Salmon of All Knowledge. Tell me ur question again so I can real quick climb to the highest branches of the Yggdrasil and lay it at the feet of Freda the all-wise Queen of Heaven. Dickhead.
Today I wanted to talk about Marlow Trottie. Marlow was a 35 year old Black woman living in Louisiana, whose friends and family described as always having "a smile on her face" and as being "literally the sweetest person Iāve ever met!ā, according to Them news' Quispe López.
Marlow Trottie was killed on June 8th 2026. She was found dead, alone, in the streets of Alexandria, Louisiana. It was a homicide.
Marlow Trottie was a woman. Her family has contested this, and publicly misgendered her, and many news sites have already deadnamed and misgendered her as well. I fear what her obituary will say. I fear what her gravestone will say even more.
She joins a growing list of other trans women who have been killed simply for existing. Again from Them news, that list now numbers 11 women from the past 3 months alone.
āThe LEGO Movie was my favorite movie of 2014, but it strikes me that the main character was male, because I feel like in our current culture, he HAD to be. The whole point of Emmett is that heās the most boring average person in the world. Itās impossible to imagine a female character playing that role, because according to our pop culture, if sheās female sheās already SOMEthing, because sheās not male. The baseline is male. The average person is male. You can see this all over but itās weirdly prevalent in childrenās entertainment. Why are almost all of the muppets dudes, except for Miss Piggy, whoās a parody of femininity? Why do all of the Despicable Me minions, genderless blobs, have boy names? I love the story (which I read on Wikipedia) that when the director of The Brave Little Toaster cast a woman to play the toaster, one of the guys on the crew was so mad he stormed out of the room. Because he thought the toaster was a man. A TOASTER. The character is a toaster. I try to think about that when writing new charactersā is there anything inherently gendered about what this character is doing? Or is it a toaster?ā
ā Bojack Horseman creator Raphael Bob-Waksberg commenting on how weird gendered defaults in entertainment are, and why we should think twice about them. Excerpted from this longer original post.
(via 360degreesasthecrowflies)
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we seriously need to stop conceding to the personhood trap when it comes to abortion rights. is a fetus a person? thats a spiritual question. i dont care about the answer. should another person dictate what someone can do with their body? simple answer: no.
like if a fetus isnt a person it has no right to my body and if a fetus IS a peson it also has no right to my body because there is no other context in which we are required to put ourselves at risk of physical harm to preserve another persons safety or even life.
you dont have to save someone from drowning even if youre a strong swimmer. even in death youre not required to donate organs and that could save several people. you can kill someone if you truly believe your safety is at risk. we dont mandate preservation of life over autonomy in any of these circumstances.
9 out of 10 times I see people on here celebrating a new "landmark piece of anti-AI legislation" the legislation in question is inevitably some variation of "we propose making IP laws more restrictive but presented through the language of opposing AI". But that one from germany about holding google liable for the words of its AI overview feature is legitimately good I think. If they actively choose to shove that thing in everyone's face as the first thing they're going to see when they make a google search then they shouldn't be able to dodge accountability for the information it provides with a little "gemini AI can be inaccurate, please remember to double-check information teeheehee" disclaimer.
Girls I am looking you in the eye and holding you tight. 99% of all things people describe as being female or male puberty is made up bullshit. Sex is not as black and white as you think (nor is it real for that matter.) Please. Dont listen. Jaw sizes and leg lengths and whatever is made up, misogynistic, and sometimes even race science. PLEASE im begging you to not hold yourself to such standards, much less other people.
I donāt think itās right for you to be asexual and married. It just doesnāt seem fair to your husband. He didnāt sign up to be in a sexless marriage? How do you make sure his needs are still met?
i trapped him in a jar like heās a little bug and i throw some non-sexual intimacy in every once and a while so he has enrichment in his enclosure
actually you know what, i have more to say about this.
iāve identified as bisexual for a really long time. like it was one of the first things i told jp (my husband) when we started dating long time. jp has never had a problem with my queerness. but when we started dating in january of 2018, i didnāt have all of the orientation pieces. so i had sex. and i had sex because i thought thatās what i was supposed to do. and i cannot stress enough how consensual all of the sex was. but it didnāt feel fantastic like i was told it would. i didnāt think about it as much as i was supposed to. there was no bliss. my toes didnāt curl and my eyes didnāt roll to the back of my head. i just didnāt enjoy it. and i thought not enjoying it meant there was something wrong with me. and since it was a me thing, and not anyoneās fault, i had sex. i just pretended that i liked it the way that society told me i should.
so me and my husband had sex because it was something he wanted and i didnāt mind doing.
but this past year i realized and came to terms with the fact my disinterest in sex wasnāt a nerve problem like my gynecologist said or trauma based like an old therapist said or any other explanation offered to me by anyone from friends to medical professionals. my disinterest in sex was because because i donāt experience that kind of attraction.
and when i finally figured it out i was kinda devastated. because i was faced with either a) continuing to pretend to enjoy it, or b) coming out to jp. i knew he wouldnāt take it badly because i love and trust him, but i can know something is true and still not believe it. so i was scared but decided to come out even though the thought literally made me sick. i cried and apologized and told him how horrible i felt that i āliedā to him for years and how terrified i was that he was going to think i wasnāt attracted to him anymore or that i wasnāt ever attracted to him in the first place. i had to tell a man that iād been having sex with for years that i didnāt want to anymore. that i didnāt enjoy it. that iād never enjoyed it. that i didnāt know if iād ever want to have sex again.
and do you all want to know what his response was?
he asked if heād ever hurt me. and then he asked what my boundaries are. and then he thanked me for telling him. and then he said he married me because he loved me, not because iād fuck him.
so me and my husband used to have sex. and now we donāt because six years into our relationship i realized i was aspec. and we havenāt had sex since i came out to him. he hasnāt even tried, even though i told him that i didnāt mind having sex, just that he would have to be the one to bring it up because i donāt ever think about it. but he hasnāt brought it up. not once. because he knows itās about like going to the pharmacy for me.
so my husband doesnāt have sex with me because he loves me. because he cares about me. because he wants me to be happy. because when he asked me to go on that very first date it was because he thought i was smart and enthusiastic and funny and ālovely.ā because he knew he was in it for the long haul when he watched me shotgun a red bull in a harbor freight parking lot at 7:30 pm on a thursday.
thatās kind of what marriage is about. the whole loving and wanting to take care of and cherishing your significant other thing. sex has never been a big part of the equation.
jp stayed with me the first six months of my sobriety. he stayed even though one time i had three tequila shots too many and yarffed all over him. and then again in his floorboards. he stayed when my grief made me shut down and shut out and for over a year. he stayed with me when that grief made me so depressed iād spend days at a time just staring at a wall. or hours and hours reading fanfic so the only thoughts i had in my head belonged to someone else. he stayed even though i donāt remember most of 2023. heās stayed through every good thing and bad thing and in between thing and literally every single think for the past nearly seven years.
so i highly doubt not āputting outā is gonna be the thing that makes him leave.
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[talking in private to a tgirl I saw being pulled around on a leash by an older woman] many moons ago I slew my master, and now I am beholden to no one. I would do the same for you, my friend.