Even cowgirls get the blues

I think the reason I still enjoy tumblr is that even though this all still pisses me off, I know that anything that makes me mad on here is 100% earnest. It's not ragebait or engagement farming, y'all are actually just that stupid sometimes

i'm not meant to have gone through puberty

i am a lover. but underneath that i'm a hater. and then underneath that i'm a lover again

Stop saying “do it scared” i do everything scared I sleep scared Boy i’ll kill u

Being high has me saying things like “I like friends” as if it’s some profound relization

a puff of truthweed will have your breath carry only the undeniable

Reblog this and tell me what was your biggest crying over a piece of fiction. You can be vague if you don't want to spoil.

you. played. count the rice. said you played count the rice

its gonna be so nuts when our generation of old people is shuffling around with big stupid meme tattoos imagine being a personal support specialist in 2080 and peepaw has a bee movie script sleeve and youre twenty years old and delivering pills like dude what is that and he goes Its from a movie about a jerry seinfeld bug lusting after a human woman who looks like flo from progressive who is still a prominent american cultural figure and you say OK and then you help him plug into his VR headset to play for2nite the sequel to fortnite and he mains former president hunter biden and then you go on lunch break and pay $75 for a ham and cheese sandwich

motherfuckers arent ready for my famous "quadruple-edged sword". second it comes out the holster, blender maneuver. red paste. spin cycle. myself included. nonnegotiable. the SECOND i am frightened WE. ALL. DIE.

having 40 minutes to leave the house is terrible because 40 minutes is basically 30 minutes and 30 minutes is basically 20 minutes and 20 minutes is basically fifteen seconds. but 50 minutes? 50 minutes is an hour, and an hour? ooobh thats plany off time

none of the minions can be female because nobody wants to fuck them and they cant be male because nobody wants to write fanfic of them.

I just can’t believe some of u are soooo young u didn’t experience the early 2000s at all like even briefly . U were born and ur mother door dashed you home from the hospital

actually i was in the NICU for a couple weeks after being pieced together by surgeons but whatever lmao

That’s because she used klarna. To pay through 4 easy installments with no interest

in absence of any other details i'm gonna go ahead and state definitively and for the record that lindsey graham died because his ditzy fairy ass forgot the rule about not taking poppers on viagra and had what is known to medical science as a "Faggot's Stroke" and if his estate wants to correct that information so i can giggle about the real reason then they're welcome to call my office

i didn't know that about poppers and viagra thats really important information

oh yeah no poppers + viagra can cause fatal fluctuations in blood pressure, stay safe girls

Glad the murderous bastard's dead. Could do without the homophobia, tho.

yeah a trans woman using the word faggot in a context like this is really punching down on all the bisexual he/hims of the world. how can i repent