I'm from the government and we're definitely not here to help

Fun fact: Arizona is the only place in the country where the state mine inspector is an elected position

Yes it's real

No it's not skyrim

No it's not talking about bats

Ian Kobe actually ran for office on a platform of clearing out actual folklore vampires from the copper mines

No he did not win

No Joe Hart never cleared out the vampire dens

Joe Hart is not the current mine inspector because he resigned and died of very old age shortly after so I guess he wasn't a vampire???

The new mine inspector has also not cleared out the vampire dens

Ian Kobe has not reappeared in our time of need

The children yearn for the mines

which led directly to "...so now AG is a lesbian horse federal agent named Penny and she's married to Arizona (who may or may not be a horse herself)".

People were forced to vote, and your vote was not secret. My great grandfather didn’t go to vote one time and they brought the ballot box into his kitchen and watched him vote. One of the men had a gun. You aren’t going to vote against them when your life is being threatened. 

People just disappeared for not becoming communist. My mom had a friend who’s father hasn’t been found. 

When the radio was on, my great grandmother would close the doors, windows, and curtains. If they were caught listening to radio from the west they could be imprisoned or killed. 

Until the wall came down my mother couldn’t go back, she, her mother and father, and her little brother had all been painted as traitors. The inheritance to our family farm was shifted to my great aunt. We would have gotten 50%, now we have a few acres of forest. 

Speaking of the family farm, when the soviets came in, they destroyed the gate to the farm, took it, and by the time my great grandpa got it back, he was too old to work it, the buildings were in ruins, and there was nothing left. 

That's just not true. Yes, you get the occasional invalid registration and sometimes that person even ends up voting but a) that's already very illegal and b) relatively speaking, it's incredibly rare. It's not something you can do at scale to tip an election. It would be a logistical nightmare to try.

And they don't need to. There are thousands of perfectly legitimate registrations floating around waiting to be exploited - which is easy to do at scale. The voter rolls are full of people who moved out of state or died and were never taken off the lists. This dopey bill makes some noises in the direction of cleaning the voter rolls but again, it's focused on removing noncitizens, not old registrations where the problem lies. And it's entirely unenforceable. There are already requirements in lots of places that the voter rolls be kept clean and they're just don't do it. Or do it intentionally badly, which is probably more likely with this bill. It'll fall apart as soon as it hits resistance.