feast when you can

hey you 🫵 have you washed your water bottle lately? 🫵 it’s getting hot and mold is going to grow 🫵 wash it 🫵

mostly missing me but i know a bunch of folks that are right in the path 🥰 enjoy it for me, my lovelies!

people make jokes about how people who weren’t allowed to watch spongebob as a kid are always talking about how they weren’t allowed to watch spongebob but as one of the aforementioned people who wasn’t allowed to watch spongebob my insight on the matter is: you would not BELIEVE the amount of times spongebob comes up in normal adult conversations. i don’t often think about him of my own accord but people reference him and i have to say. what? and they say it’s from spongebob?? and i say. oh i never watched spongebob. and they say why? and i say. i wasn’t allowed to. and then a few weeks later it happens again

i really cannot stand the character archetype in film of the "unpopular nerdy ugly girl" being portrayed by the most conventionally attractive, thin, clear-skinned actress ever you cannot tell me that amanda goddamn seyfried was some fugly lesbigay loser as a foil to megan fox you cannot tell me beloved babyfaced winona ryder was a social outcast at her school you cannot convince me that rachel sennott and ayo edebiri are notoriously "ugly, untalented gays" even riverdale lampshaded this by fully acknowledging that cheryl shouldnt have starred as carrie in the school play and it shouldve been ethel cause ethel is The Fat One Nobody Likes and ethel even IS chubby enough that you could actually consider her "fat" but she's still an acceptably Cute type of fat but in the end she STILL gets denied the role anyway. real ugly and/or fat girls are straight up not allowed to exist on camera even when the narrative tells you they're there they're not actually there. im just so tired. where is the acne. [flinging myself against the walls of my padded cell] where is the acne where is the acne wwhere is the fucking acne

you have destroyed and betrayed yourself for an amazing reason

washing dishes is evil because you go "oh fuck there's so many dishes this is gonna take foreverrr" and then you enter the dish abyss and emerge with your abdomen somehow covered in water and your hands all wrinky and then you look at the clock and what felt like half an hour was actually 10 minutes

"we detected a mature post" yeah I'm in my 30s

fun fact about languages: a linguist who was studying aboriginal languages of Australia finally managed to track down a native speaker of the Mbabaram language in the 60s for his research. they talked a bit and he started by asking for the Mbabaram word for basic nouns. They went back and forth before he asked for the word for “dog” The man replied “dog” They had a bit of a “who’s on first” moment before realizing that, by complete coincidence,  Mbabaram and English both have the exact same word for dog.

on a similar note, a traditional Ojibwe greeting is “Nanaboozhoo” so when the French first landed in southern Canada they thought that they were saying “Bonjour!” Which is fucking wild to think about. Imagine crossing the ocean and the first people you meet in months somehow speak French.