First Lunch, then Revolution

i say this to myself like, once a day. out loud. its just part of me now.

There is a parallel universe where Tumblr is actually a great functioning site

its exactly as shitty but every other social media site is worse by comparison

Nichard names: when you incorrectly elongate someone's name for humorous effect.

denying yourself enjoyment of things because you don't want to be 'cringe' is the most cringe thing you can do actually. like what are you, catholic?

like, you're going to refuse to engage with anything that feeds your emotions with rich and delicious new sensations in case you fall to the temptation of unironically having fun? okay john harvey kellogg jr.

floating down the river styx on an inflatable donut and high-fiving all the lost souls i pass. i'm on vacation

This post is not an invitation for you all to explain mormonism to me I am fine not knowing about this

[European voice] "The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints? You mean like from Fallout?"

hey I wonder what happens if I put powdered milk into carbonated water

my cereal is loud and it's demanding to know why I would sin against both nature and god so thoughtlessly

...how does it taste?

bad

I have mastered the potion: Instant Spoiled Milk, therefore earning the rank of shittiest alchemist currently alive.