contemptible blood pervert

oh wow, wow. nina this is SO hard, actually, because i feel like my taste is very niche in certain ways and i just don't know that everyone would like it LOL

i'll instead reframe this as the three books which i personally have read over and over many times, or that feel salient for my current interests.

Call Me By Your Name by Andre Aciman. Call me a stereotype, idgaf. I don't think there is a book with more beautiful prose that truly captures the youthful feeling of longing like this. Aciman just describes his settings and the physicality of his characters so gorgeously. I don't think there's a single other writer I can name who puts into words the little things we notice about the people we desire the way he does it.

Interview with the Vampire by Anne Rice. There is something so special about a story that's focused on a character who paralyzed with grief, and who truly doesn't do much at all and yet experiences so much over the course of the tale. And the way in the end the story just ends, and there is no true point, and no true meaning- that's really how life is, I guess. And again, gorgeous prose. I love a unique voice in writing.

when I lived in Tokyo there was a particular band who had a singer who was built like a linebacker and whose schtick was to take an entire 48 case of water bottles and dump them on all the girls in the front row at their shows.

Naturally when December rolled around and they were scheduled to play a very tiny venue me and my drunk Aussie friend Nicki decided we had to go to this show in slutty santa outfits. Because why not. So we go to the Don Quixote and she buys a a backless santa slut dress, and I buy a strapless santa slut dress, and off we go.

Now it's important to note: this wasn't truly strapless. It did, in fact, have little clear rubber straps on it. We'll come back to this.

At certain shows in Japan people do this move called a gyaku dive- everyone on the rail leans over the rail so they're ass up. Then the second row runs up and body slams them and bounces off their asses. Then the third row takes a turn. Etc etc. It's nonsense, just act accept it.

Nicki leans over the rail and the singer pours a whole bottle of water down her bare back, lifts up the dress so it runs down her ass. I go to dive against her back.

At this point, the guitarist chooses to put his hand out and grab mine to help me dive harder (normal). But he underestimated his strength vs my weight, and the fact that Nicki's back was a literal slip n slide at the moment.

Wet back + bare shoulders + strong man pulling me = I go flying heels over head like Nicki is the hump on a water slide at Action Park. I tuck and roll across the stage. When I look up, my head is on the singer's shoe. The music has not stopped.

He looks down.

Remember the clear rubber straps? Yeah. Those broke the second I went ass over tea kettle. This man has me sprawled across his feet, tits out, santa dress at my waist.

(what I didn't mention is that he does know me somewhat, because me and another friend went to his band's signing a few weeks back and asked him to sign our boobs 80s hair metal band style and he really thrived off that interaction. Like that just doesn't happen over there and he's the kind of friendly perv who we knew would just love that experience. So in this moment, dress around waist and lying on his feet, I become Miss American Tits to him forevermore)

I manage to pull my dress up while lying on the stage and hold it over my chest with one arm. My other arm, he grabs around the wrist to haul me to my feet and then he lifts me so I can hop batman style over the rail and back onto the floor.

Impressively, the music never stopped for a second. I finished the show by safety pinning the clear straps back into place.

Also tell me about the first fic you ever wrote.

sleepover asks

i don't! i was talking to @monstersinthecosmos about this in the car recently, like what the appeal of writing fic is vs writing original fiction and why fic with the serial numbers scrubbed off doesn't make good fiction.

the thing about fic is that ultimately it's all a character study. what do you like about The Character, how would The Character handle a situation. it's an emotional portrait of a person (and typically their ship love interest) and plot is secondary to the emotion. when we write fic we're trying to show the world how we feel about a character that exists and see if others play dolls the same way.

i don't know that i could get that via writing original fiction. there is much more pressure there to create plot and tell a proper story and that's not what gets me going when i open a word doc.

(that, and the level of explicitness i like to get to...no publisher would permit that LOL even the romantasy smut stuff out there pales in comparison to some of the things we do in fic. truly jg ballard is the only writer to get away with these things and he didn't live in Goody Proctor's Prude Hellscape when he published crash)

i also don't think i'm built for the solitude of original fiction. once you publish there are no ao3 comments from like minded weirdos. just good reads reviews and booktokers who will either gush or destroy you, and who you don't communicate back with. the two way channel of communication that occurs via fic is really, really important to me, to the point that had YOU not read my big wip i genuinely would have abandoned it lol i get bored and frustrated writing for an audience of none and a professional editor wouldn't hit the same. imo.

sleepover asks