I'm A Work In Progress

idiot jail for ignorant beasts

Sisyphus

God bless nurses forever

I was out with a bunch of people this weekend and this guy suddenly went “man I miss my wife” and went home. like…I want that

i go to the american grocery store and step into the cheese isle pondering which kraft single i will buy

Everyone wants to act like Americans don’t have cheese but no one wants to talk about the cheese caves, the caves where we put all our cheese because we make too much and our cringe government keeps bailing out our fail dairy farmers to keep the price of milk stable because The Great Depression so now we have so much cheese in this country we could literally stop producing cheese right now and still have enough cheese to give everyone in America a pound of it every day for four years. And I’m not even talking about kraft singles pictured above, I’m talking about an actual not cursed product-- real cheese. Cheddar, brie, gouda, munster, swiss, you name it we have a billion pounds of it, literally. We have so much cheese that we’re literally running out of places to put it and in an effort to get rid of it we reprocess a lot of it into kraft singles (hence it’s a cheese product and not actual cheese-- cheese is but an ingredient in kraft singles, much like how bread is itself an ingredient in German graubrot, although graubrot is a food item that is actually meant to exist on this earth and isn’t the end product a cautionary tale on how not to stabilize a vital industry when your economy is collapsing) and for a very long time we gave it away as part of certain food assistance programs. And that’s not even counting the fancy imported shit from Europe, because yes even though we still have way too much cheese we also still import it from Europe in addition to the too much cheese we already have.

What if we kissed in the cheese cave ❤️ and we were both girls? 😳

@iluvcats96

im sorry but writing enemies to lovers on ao3 is so fucking funny. one of them will go a whole paragraph saying how much they hate, absolutely despise, have genuine burning contempt for the other and we’re all here knowing damn well that enemies to lovers tag is just sat there. like we already know what’s coming bro you’re just embarrassing yourself

the appeal of enemies to lovers though is less “oh will they ever get together?” and more “at what exact point does he go from wanting to kill the bitch to the oh in italics?”

Still thinking of a TikTok I saw a year ago where a girl with a shellfish allergy got a crab tattooed on her thigh with one of the claws exactly where her Epi Pen should be stabbed into her so she’d be able to wheeze out “stab the crab” if someone else needed to use her pen on her. Absolutely obsessed. The epitome of work smarter not harder.

Having the hiccups is how it feels to be poisoned in a video game

69 cities in the united kingdom and forty seven thousand pubs

england is smaller than my state and has like almost as many bars as the entire US combined. like it's just 10,000 short of catching up to the US, a country with almost 5 times its population

going to one pub every single day it would take you 130 years to go to every pub in britain

high school is soo funny in hindsight. the entire time you're there thinking it's the most important period of your life and then the second you're out you're like well that was fucking stupid