to sleep, perchance to dream

in my crowded brain you're in uppercase

Confiding publicly that my abuser felt abused by me may make you not want to believe me. It makes me, like most others, an imperfect victim. But let me tell you up front that those rumored complaints — ruining his reputation, blaming his suffering on my not reciprocating — are actually part of a documented pattern of behavior from those who engage in abuse: DARVO, or deny, attack, and reverse victim and offender. Does that make me more believable? Or what if I tell you I’m not actually asking you to decide whether or not this person was left perfectly unharmed by me? What if I just didn’t want to be stalked anymore? What’s that worth to you?