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@antropie
All is right in the world.
Bless “The Banging”

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Thats the weirdest erotic sentence i’ve read all month
this fucking post singlehandedly ruined my life
You don’t really appreciate how fucking great fan fic is when it comes to writing sex untill you stop to recognise how Serious Literary Stars fail at writing sex.
DO A BARREL ROLL
#in all my years of reading fic i have never encountered a sentence this terrible #did he just say that his dick smacked EVERY MUSCLE in her body except you know her vagina? #like I'MMA SMACK YOU IN THE CHEEK I'MMA SMACK YOU IN THE SHOULDER I'MMA SMACK YOU IN THE CALF #what is your dick doing?? #how do you think sex works morrissey??
Forget what his dick is doing, what are her breasts doing? How do a pair of fat sacks attached to a ribcage barrel-roll anywhere? Let alone across a man’s mouth and then his wanger immediately after? Sir, why is your mouth so dong-adjacent? Is your weiner detachable, is that it? Do you have your joystick clutched in your hand so that you can score a sweet schlong-to-titty-roll immediately after a kiss and then proceed to beat your banana all over her body in the world’s most failed attempt at erotic massage??? HOW DO YOU THINK SEX WORKS???
… guys
….. Are the sex scenes in My Immortal better than this? “HE PUT HIS THINGY IN MY YOU-KNOW-WHAT AND WE HAD SEX.”
… I mean. Comparatively…
Like, in My Immortal, it’s at least implied he knows where he’s supposed to put it. It’s very simplistic, Ikea-style sex (insert tab A into slot B) but that’s better than this vague, useless composition of random, nonsensical placement and movement of body parts. So yes, the sex in My Immortal is, in this sense, better.
@master-of-strings
OK so I’m sure people are aware of this, but just in case you’re not: there is an annual ‘award’ given every year by the Literary Review for bad sex scenes in fiction. The above entry (sorry) by Morrissey won this illustrious award in 2015 (and yes, he threw a massive tantrum about it, because he’s Morrissey):
The best part of this is that the 2016 nominations were just announced, and OH BOY, there are some absolute crackers this year:
And in case anyone is interested, these are some of the entries that Morrissey beat to the top prize last year:
I agree. We are spoilt by fanfiction.
I literally never want to hear anyone badmouth fanfiction again, I have never in all my years of internetdom read anything as troubling as, “Under that sling, her breasts were like young fawns, sheep frolicking in hyssop - Psalms were about to pour out of me.”
Some writers seriously need to learn how to fade to black, I swear to god.
“Ted unfurled his hardening chlamydia dispenser. Valerie took one look and moistened audibly. She removed her galoshes, one boot at a time, then her snow pants. Ted stroked himself as the scream of neighborhood cats filled the air. He circled her like a small asteroid entering a gravity well. She watched sweatily. It was their night to shine.”
So if you guys felt self conscious about your fanfiction sex scenes…don’t be. These are actual published authors. You’re doing just fine.
mamamoo wins bonsang - digital song division at the 31st golden disc awards!! congrats to my girls, thank u for always releasing great music ily lots!!
Reblog if you think fanfiction isn't a waste of time.
Reblog if you think it’s a good way to practice writing.
Reblog if you have made friends because of fanfiction.
My sister called it a waste of time and I want to prove her wrong.
Tell your sister I’m now a professionally paid author because of “fanfic.”
Tell your sister to get over herself.
Tell your sister things that make you happy are never a waste of time
Fanfic is no waste of time. I ficced Star Trek so hard that eventually Paramount started paying me (through Pocket Books) to write it professionally. I spent more or less three months fairly high up on the New York Times Bestseller List because of having gotten really good at writing Trek while writing hundreds of thousands of words of fanfic. (Your first million words are for practice, David gerrold always used to say, and I think he may be right.)
And fanfic is a source of joy: for the reader, ideally, but at least for the writer. True joy is never wasted.
So I wanted to see if Ten Duel Commandments and The World Was Wide Enough used the exact same backing, and then this happened
I JUST SCREAMED
@queen–frostine dude. This is incredible
@thecasualpistachioh Damn
i was mostly okay until the “pick a place to die”/“near the same spot his son died” overlap and it just got worse from there.
holy shit.
this is beautiful and amazing and not okay
“this man will not make an orphan of my daughter” (okay, so we’re doing this)
i’m devastated
BUT Y’ALL
the last few lines when they both say “look ‘im in the eye, aim no higher / summon on the courage you require!”
how could you not mention that
BUT GUYS
Burr says: “methodically fiddled with the trigger” as Hamilton says: “pray that hell or heaven lets you in”
it’s kinda sad how hamilton and burr disagreed a bit in act one, but when you hear the overlap, it’s like a memory playing as burr spoke, assuming hamilton was going to shoot him dammit mind stop that

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overwatch + text post
Get your life with Miss Trinity K. Bonet children!
Hail Medic!
The name “Ludwig” has 6 letters, the new tf2 comic is #6 and Medic has 9 souls, which is a 6 turned upside down. This gives us 3 times the number 6 =
Hail Satan!
Also watching “Meet the Medic” backwards, will give you instructions on how to summon the devil!
Oh, come on. Have you even watched Meet the Medic backwards? There’s nothing about summoning a devil. Playing the video backwards turns it into a story about a man that just steals people’s souls and then retreats to his bird cave -
…Wait a minute.
IT’S NOT ‘PEEKED’ MY INTEREST
OR ‘PEAKED’
BUT PIQUED
‘PIQUED MY INTEREST’
THIS HAS BEEN A CAPSLOCK PSA
THIS IS ACTUALLY REALLY USEFUL THANK YOU
ADDITIONALLY:
YOU ARE NOT ‘PHASED’. YOU ARE ‘FAZED.’
IF IT HAS BEEN A VERY LONG DAY, YOU ARE ‘WEARY’. IF SOMEONE IS ACTING IN A WAY THAT MAKES YOU SUSPICIOUS, YOU ARE ‘WARY’.
ALL IN ‘DUE’ TIME, NOT ‘DO’ TIME
‘PER SE’ NOT ‘PER SAY’
THANK YOU
BREATHE - THE VERB FORM IN PRESENT TENSE
BREATH - THE NOUN FORM
THEY ARE NOT INTERCHANGEABLE
WANDER - TO WALK ABOUT AIMLESSLY
WONDER - TO THINK OF IN A DREAMLIKE AND/OR WISTFUL MANNER
THEY ARE NOT INTERCHANGEABLE (but one’s mind can wander)
DEFIANT - RESISTANT DEFINITE - CERTAIN
WANTON - DELIBERATE AND UNPROVOKED ACTION (ALSO AN ARCHAIC TERM FOR A PROMISCUOUS WOMAN)
WONTON - IT’S A DUMPLING THAT’S ALL IT IS IT’S A FUCKING DUMPLING
BAWL- TO SOB/CRY
BALL- A FUCKING BALL
YOU CANNOT “BALL” YOUR EYES OUT
AND FOR FUCK’S SAKE, IT’S NOT “SIKE”; IT’S “PSYCH”. AS IN “I PSYCHED YOU OUT”; BECAUSE YOU MOMENTARILY MADE SOMEONE BELIEVE SOMETHING THAT WASN’T TRUE.
THANK YOU.
*slams reblog*
IT’S ‘MIGHT AS WELL’. ‘MIND AS WELL’ DOES NOT MAKE GRAMMATICAL SENSE.
SLEIGHT - DEXTERITY, ARTIFICE, CRAFT (FROM ‘SLY’) SLIGHT - VERY LITTLE, FRAIL, DELICATE
IT’S ‘SLEIGHT OF HAND’.
DISCRETE - SEPARATE, DISTINCT, PARTED
DISCREET - SUBTLE, STEALTHY, DIPLOMATIC
AND TO CONTINUE THE OP’S THEME
IT’S SNEAK PEEK
NOT SNEAK PEAK
A SNEAK PEAK WOULD BE A MOUNTAIN ENGAGED IN ESPIONAGE
THEY ARE VERY LARGE AND WOULD FIND THIS GENERALLY DIFFICULT
THANK
(OH AND ONE OTHER THING
BULLION = PRECIOUS METAL
BOUILLON = STOCK, FROM THE FRENCH “BOUILLER,” TO BOIL)
SHUDDER:
SHUTTER:
NOT SAME NOT SAME
sleight of hand: magic tricks slight of hand: President-Elect
I love this post so much oh my god 😂
“A MOUNTAIN ENGAGED IN ESPIONAGE” I’m losing my shit
This is great
Wake Me Up Inside has become a real joke but you all are lying if you say that you wouldn’t have loved lyrics like “bid my blood to run before I come undone and save me from the nothing I’ve become” if it was presented in a folk song on Sufjan Stevens’ Carrie & Lowell.

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Welcome to the space age, ladies and gentlemen
This is really quite a big deal. A tremendous amount of modern research ends up being sold to journals which require unreasonable payments to access it and only pay the original authors a pittance. It’s nice to see an agency like NASA deliberately widebanding its findings.
Not sure if people fully realize just how big of a deal this is. THIS is how science is advanced. Not through biased corporate research, business secrets, marketing, paywalls and patent wars. But through open, uncensored and unrestricted public access to knowledge.
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/?term=%22nasa+funded%22[Filter]
^ There’s the direct link to all the studies.
NASA IS GOOD, NASA IS GREAT
I’ve been reading Common Sense by Thomas Paine so men say that I’m intense or I’m insane. You want a revolution? I want a revelation. So listen to my declaration: “We hold these truths to be self-evident that all men are created equal.” And when I meet Thomas Jefferson I’mma compel him to include women in the sequel. (requested by anonymous)
Reblog if you have zero problems with the Gency pairing
And support Michael Chu and the lore team if they decide to go that route.
(Doing this to prove a point to a group from Twitter who claim that no one in the Overwatch community supports the decision.)
hanzo plays undertale.jpg
im not sorry lmao
I have a lot of bias concerning what Reaper looks like under his mask okay

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don’t worry doc, ‘tis just a scratch
completely self-indulgent piece, known as “what is anatomy?! damn i forgot how to draw” :V
this is the 2016 apology post. reblog in 45 seconds and 2016 will apologize to you in the form of money.