url says it all

what if vampires are like mosquitoes and only the ladies drink blood

Pretty sure that would mean the fellas drink tree sap or something. Imagine running from a vampire thru the woods and passing her husband who’s biting a tree real hard

Maple syrup vampire husband

Encounter: Maple syrup vampire husband drinking sap in the woods, also trying to lure you to his literally bloodthirsty wife.

The wife has the classic Villain Of The Night aesthetic, all black, flowing cape, everything, and her husband is wearing red flannel, overalls, a beard, and is welding a log-splitting axe

This person gets it! Classic vampire lady and her lumberjack husband!

LUMBERDRAC

DNI Unless you answer my riddles three

WHEATLEY IS DEAD!!!

let’s stop seeing sex as the biggest thing you can do to show someone you love them

everyone knows that the real way to show someone you love them is to find them a really cool rock. not a diamond. just a neat rock that you think they will enjoy

Not a rock THE  ARKENSTONE 

Why just one rock Why not three Why not the silmarils

#i’m pretty sure there’s an entire book on the topic ‘why not silmarils’  (x)

And one on why not the arkenstone

Everyone once in a while this makes an re-appearance on my dash and it’s great

“This is your daily, friendly reminder to use commas instead of periods during the dialogue of your story,” she said with a smile.

“Unless you are following the dialogue with an action and not a dialogue tag.” He took a deep breath and sat back down after making the clarifying statement. 

“However,” she added, shifting in her seat, “it’s appropriate to use a comma if there’s action in the middle of a sentence.”

“True.” She glanced at the others. “You can also end with a period if you include an action between two separate statements.”

Things I didn’t know

“And–” she waved a pen as though to underline her statement–“if you’re interrupting a sentence with an action, you need to type two hyphens to make an en-dash.”

You guys have no idea how many students in my advanced fiction workshop didn’t know any of this when writing their stories.

Reblog to save a life

unknown target making eye contact. engage casual stranger greeting protocol. enable white person smile, intensity 30%. processing options... hit em with the bro nod. signal sent... nod response received, time=431ms. encounter successful.

Guys I reblogged this and then wrote an 8000 word story I didn’t even have a solid plan for. Reblog this shit.