lemme get a uhhh

some warning signs can include

starting to believe unusual things that you previously did not believe (e.g. living in a simulation / you or others around you not being real / secretly being in hell or dead / otherworldly beings communicating with you somehow / government conspiracies / everyone around you is out to get you and harboring ill intent)

seeing things youre pretty sure arent there (e.g. shadow people, floating lights, stationary objects moving on their own, animals in a house that doesnt have pets)

hearing things (e.g. murmured voices, occasional clear and loud voices, faint music, scratching sounds, any without a source)

feeling a sense of dread or generalised paranoia, a sense that you are being watched or that something terrible is looming on the horizon but you dont know what

having extra trouble putting your thoughts in order and speaking coherently, cannot concentrate, space out to the point of feeling slightly catatonic

those most at risk are anyone with a family history of this vein of mental illness as well as those using certain drugs to get through the tedium of quarantine - if this is you, its best to research whether the substances youre using have documented links to triggering episodes of psychosis in users. weed is included in this, not just psychoactive drugs.

here are some steps you can take to get a handle on the situation if your grasp on reality is slipping like this and you cant access irl mental health resources.

have a routine. this is vitally important - you need structure. set an alarm for a specific time every day, even though you have nowhere to be. give yourself a bedtime. eat 2 meals a day, at least, at regular times.

leave the house. no, i dont mean Go Out, just be outside for a while every day or two. go for a walk if you can. stand outside your house for 15 minutes paying attention to the cars and the birds and the breeze and the clouds if you cant. really observe your surroundings. get sunlight.

on that note - let as much natural light into your house as possible during waking hours. your circadian rhythm needs it.

take up some form of hobby that requires physical engagement - whether thats journaling, drawing, making origami, gardening, cooking. the point of this is to ground yourself in your body and the world around you, have an affect on your surroundings, and stimulate your brain.

dont dwell on your delusions, hallucinations or distressing trains of thought if you can help it. that isnt to say "snap out of it and just dont have symptoms", but rather accept them without either judging them or overindulging in them. observe them as they happen, accept that they happen, and let it go, if you can. you may not be able to control the experiences, but you can control how you react to them, and the best case scenario is not allowing them to overwhelm your thoughts and your days. this is much easier said than done, especially if the experiences are distressing in nature, but the aim is to sever the feedback loop that causes further stress and thus further bad extrasensory experiences.

the point of the riddle isn’t to figure out which one is lying, in fact, knowing which one lies and which one tells the truth is irrelevant. What you want is the correct answer from the magical beast/two guards/etc. Usually this means knowing which path to take. For that, you HAVE to ask it “if i ask the other head/guard/etc which is the safe way to go, what will they tell me?”

if you asked the truth-telling one, they’ll tell you the wrong way, because the liar will always mislead you. if you ask the liar, they’ll tell you the wrong way, because they’re misleading you, so

ALWAYS do the opposite of whatever answer you get.

“who cares this is a stupid tumblr post this doesn’t matter irl–”

WRONG AGAIN! story time:

A few years ago a friend threw a halloween party, and since he dressed as the Riddler, he decided to have a riddle contest.

now, i’ve been preparing for a riddle contest my entire life, since i first read the hobbit and it got bilbo out of trouble. for some reason, i assumed riddle contests were as inevitable as quicksand.

I answered the first riddle easily (it was one of the ones from the hobbit) and then i had to answer the next one to win a bottle of top-shelf rum. it was a variation on the two-guard riddle, only i had to choose one of two paper bags. one had crappy cheap vodka, the other the nice rum. 

the host and his friend did the classic one lies one tells the truth thing, and of course before i asked everyone started shouting “ask him what color your hair is!” and stuff like that, but i already knew what to ask, so i shushed them and won the rum

remember, kids, it doesn’t matter which one is lying and which one is telling the truth. all that matters is you get the correct knowledge to move you forward, win your rum, and make you seem like a superhuman riddle-solver to a crowd of drunken party guests.

They tell you that one of them always lies and that one of them always tells the truth. And they tell you you can ask them one question.

If you ask “What’s two plus two?” than great. You know which one lies but you also still don’t know which bridge you can cross and can’t find out.

Me: you will not earn what you desire by banging the cabinet door.

My cat: This is a test of wills, is it not? We shall see if your ability to put up with my incessant banging outlasts my eternal lust for snackie treats. Years of conditioning have hardened me for this purpose. bang bang bang

Me: ksst!

My cat, throwing herself to the ground like she's been shot: Oh! Oh I have been assailed in my own home! Have mercy, have pity! Surely in the cruel darkness of your heart there is some mote of goodness that might stay your hand! Do not strike me, I pray you!

Me: ok

In spring of 1942, after the Soviet invasion of Poland in 1939, thousands of Polish citizens and elements of the Polish military were deported from Soviet territory. They journeyed through Iran to British Palestine.

Along the way, they encountered an Iranian boy with an orphaned bear cub. According to the boy, the cub's mother had been killed by hunters. The teenage neice of a Polish general convinced an officer to buy the bear cub, which they nursed back to health and eventually made their mascot.

The bear was trained to perform a military salute, cuddle with soldiers on cold nights, and even march with them by standing on his back legs. He copied the soldiers in every way, even attempting to smoke cigarettes (he usually just ate them).

When the Polish army finally reunited with allied forces, they were assigned to join the invasion of Italy alongside the British 8th Army. However, the transport ships banned all pets and mascot animals.

The Poles refused to leave Wojtek, and got around the rule by drafting the bear into the army as a legally recognized soldier. He had his own personal records files, his own paycheck, his own dogtag ID number, and even held the rank of Private.

It wasn't symbolic, either. Private Wojtek actually participated in combat at the Battle of Monte Casino by carrying 100-pound crates full of artillery shells. It was a job that normal required four men, but Wojtek did it alone and perfectly, never dropping a single shell. His actions kept the artillery barrage well supplied until Allied forces finally seized the fortified mountaintop from Nazi paratroopers.

In recognition of his excellent performance, Private Wojtek was promoted to Corporal Wojtek and the 22nd Artillery Company made their flag the image of a bear lifting an artillery shell. They still use that flag today.

After the war, Corporal Wojtek retired to the Edinburgh Zoo in Scotland, where he was frequently visited by fellow Polish veterans, who game him cigarettes just like old times. He enjoyed a long and happy life, weighing over 1,000 pounds as any successful brown bear should. There are several memorials in his honor, both in Poland and Scotland.

Underwater geode

So he wasn't just dressed as Ted Cruz, but he had made a mask of Ted Cruz with a detached mouth that was taped to his chin so it would move when he talked and it was every bit as horrifying as it sounds/looks

Here he is attempting to drink a beer through the mask. His goal was to not take the mask off at all