Space Snake&#x27;s Art

It's actually so fucking weird that your identity is absolute these days. like, it's been normalized to the point we don't think of it much, but until a hundred years ago, hell even less, you could just kinda. go somewhere else, and be a new person. and that's not a thing anymore.

secretearthworm

Yk this is fully untrue right? You can fully still do this if you're willing to change and let go of everything at literally any moment you want

since a good few people now have said this i want to be clear: you can move to a new town still and change socially, but like. the government still knows who you are. so do tons of corporations. your identity follows you.

13 hours later and the parade of stupid comments like this has not stopped =_=

ratbastard69420

a guy named Rusty cage did a video on how it's impossible to leave your identity behind unless you become a eunuch

ratbastard69420

fuck hermit I meant hermit

Identity is stored in the balls.

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Concept: cursed blade rehabilitation center. Destroying a sentient weapon is expensive and highly unethical, so adventurers bring them to the center where highly trained staff can care for them and eventually find them forever homes. It turns out most cursed weapons are products of trauma and are not strictly evil themselves. Some blades turn out to be fiercely protective companions. Others don't even want to be weapons at all, finding joy in simple work like blacksmithing or farming. Most blades just need to be loved.

A pack of bandits descend upon a seemingly undefended town. But the blacksmith's hammer, the farmer's scythe, the woodsman's axe, they have not forgotten what they once were, and they *will* defend the town that they have come to love.

This sweet girl has been with us for seven seasons. She was forged in the heart of a volcano and would be ideal for anyone with a preexisting fire affinity (she's a cuddler and is guaranteed to keep you warm in winter). She still loves burning, but it turns out you can only reduce the world to ash once. She would be perfectly suited for forest management that regularly requires controlled burns.

This weary old soul has grown tired of bloodshed and would much rather spend his days as an ominous decoration in a tavern or common room, a perfect fit for an adventurer looking to leave their dungeon crawling days behind. He likes peoplewatching with his single glowing eye, preferably from high, prominent locations with views of entrances and exits.

heron-knight

Dark king Grütmore’s edge of annihilation consumed 10,000 souls in the first era, and as it turns out, statistically a lot of those souls heard stories that never got written down. It works in a library now.

The throngler, however, is just irrevocably fucked up. We put it in a stone in a forest and hoped nobody ever finds it

liberalsarecool

Stay engaged.

tossawary

Another Canon Divergence AU idea for "The Princess Bride" is that Westley ISN'T following Buttercup when she gets kidnapped. If he's not doing that, presumably intending on kidnapping and confronting her himself, then he really has no way of finding out about the kidnapping besides, again, spying on Humperdinck and Rugen (which is very difficult to do). And if he's not there to follow the kidnappers almost immediately, then he has no way to intervene in time.

So, Westley has been through a LOT of unpleasant shit to get back and has just found out that his true love has moved on to become engaged to their local prince. He's confused. He's really pissed off. He misses whatever opportunity allowed him to follow Buttercup on her daily ride (didn't see her ride out, didn't hear about it, whatever), because he's following another opportunity into the castle to investigate Humperdinck. Or else he sees Humperdinck and Rugen riding off towards the Pit of Despair together and decides to follow them instead. Either way, Westley overhears the two men very casually discussing Humperdinck's beautiful but forcibly gained fiancée and the kidnapping plot currently underway, and Westley realizes that Buttercup is about to DIE and he's very likely not going to be able to reach his true love in time. He still runs off, desperate and ready to die trying to save her.

And Westley is really much to late to cross the water and climb the Cliffs of Insanity and all that, because Buttercup and her kidnappers are already at the border with Guilder. It's fine though, because when Fezzik and Inigo are confronted with the murder part of the job, they object, and Fezzik ultimately decides that he's really not cool with it. Fezzik thumps Vizzini over the head while Vizzini is berating Inigo. Fezzik apologizes to Buttercup. Inigo looks at the unconscious (possibly dead, heavily concussed at least) Vizzini, shrugs, and then helps Fezzik untie Buttercup and apologizes as well.

It's more than a little awkward, because none of them really know what to do besides wander vaguely back towards Florin. Buttercup admits that she doesn't really want to marry the prince, and he'll find her if she goes back to the farm, which leads into her telling the story of her dead true love, which Inigo and Fezzik find very romantic. Which leads into Fezzik and Inigo both sharing their own tragic backstories in turn. Buttercup is personally very intrigued by Inigo's mention of being in the revenge business.

And then Buttercup goes, "Wait a moment, I know a nobleman like that. Count Rugen is Prince Humperdinck's closest friend and confidant, and he has six fingers on his right hand. I once had to sit next to them at a dinner table while they spent over an hour discussing all the troubles of finding a good glovemaker and skincare for their hands." (Rugen and his wife also once visited Buttercup and Westley's farm when they were younger, but Buttercup would more recently know Rugen from just... around the castle. Rugen is presumably going to be Humperdinck's best man.)

So, Westley is like, "Where the HELL is the love of my life???" presumably harrassing Vizzini about it if Vizzini is still alive. And Humperdinck has his theatric rescue party together to find Buttercup's body on the border, unknowingly following behind a rushing and frantic Westley, trying to keep his lies straight while he's internally like, "What the HELL happened to my kidnapping and murder plot to incite a war??? Rugen, I thought you hired the best??? It's so hard to find good help these days!"

Meanwhile, Buttercup, Fezzik, and Inigo are on a new friendship quest back to Count Rugen's house. Buttercup is the future princess, and so is presumably already acquainted with Rugen's young and beautiful wife, who has to let her in and be a good hostess. The Countess is warily like, "Buttercup... Who are these unkempt and intimidating men...?"

And Buttercup says, "Oh, they saved me from being kidnapped and killed! 😄 I'm sure that my fiancé will want to thank and reward them in person! 😄 This was the closest safe place I could think of! Thank you so much for your hospitality. By the way, when do you think your husband might be home? 😄"

ladyshinga

OceanGate, the deep-sea exploration company that created the Titan submersible, has removed its Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and LinkedIn a

poor things, well we should definitely make this easier on them by never repeatedly mentioning their name and deeds on the "reblog things forever" website

septicake

yea that'd be a shame

by the way, just so everyone knows what not to do, shift+r reblogs a post instantly

just make sure you don't reblog anything about oceangate because that would completely undermine their entire plan 😇😇😇

curoopeez

You also shouldn't queue a post, that would make people keep remembering this post for a longer time, which is the opposite of forgetting

lolly-pop-art

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Scooby-Doo AU set in ancient Rome where Shaggy is a pothead from the Kazakh Steppe.

(Today I learned marijuana is native to west/central Asia)

Daphne is from an Anglo-Saxon tribe (this is before Boudicca). Fashionable, redheaded, and people keep underestimating her intelligence.

Velma is Greek by nationality but may have an Egyptian parent, has visiting the library of Alexandria a major goal.

Unfortunately this predates vikings by like 800 years but I still think Fred is the son of Norse merchants, somehow. It's the transition period from pre-Roman iron age into Roman iron age, so...

Scooby is either somehow large enough to draw the group's travel wagon, or they also have horses that Shaggy brought with him from the Steppes and Scooby was supposed to be a guard dog (the horses are more than capable of defending themselves).

@stain-glass:

The horses are of course named Mystery and Van

Your mind.

Yes, okay, there are two horses named Mystery and Van, and then Scooby can be an ancient Saluki dog.

@lightsaberwieldingdalek:

Fred should be high patrician class but doesn’t like to talk about it- they finally take a case in Rome the city, and he takes the gang to his family home. If it’s empire times it’s an actual palace and it turns out he’s in the line of succession, if it’s republic then it’s a huge villa and one of his pregnant cousins mentions calling the baby Julius

Ohhhhhh nice, nice, nice. That sounds much more thematically appropriate than the Norse Merchants thing.

#this is cool #except #the earliest records don't indicate anglo saxon settlement of Britain until maybe the 6th Century AD #which is like 100 years after rome abandoned Britain #and like 400+ years after Boudica #she might be a pict or a celt #but if she was Anglo-Saxon she'd be a time traveller (via @lumpyspacedragon)

See, this is why I need someone else to write it! I don't know enough about the era!

Yes, she's a Celt then.

#Remember that Shaggy is canonically incredibly rich #he just doesnt show it off whatsoever #and to be in Rome from the steppes would mean traveling along the Silk Road #so Shaggy's family are likely crazy rich silk/hemp merchants #and he was instructed to make 'connections' with the Mediterranean customers #he decided to treat it as a coming of age journey with some of his new friends #the cart and Mystery and Van are all his (via @formvienthusiast)

EXACTLY, YOU GET IT

tanoraqui

Properly, Daphne should also be from a rich family, while Fred’s family should be more like upper middle class, so you might want to consider switching those two.

Fred is from Gaul and everyone assumes he’s a country bumpkin, when really he’s quite clever, the mostly undisputed leader of the team, and of course is an engineering genius (for traps) on par with the finest Roman aqueduct builders.

Daphne’s mother is a Celt, which is where she got her vividly orange hair, but her father is a patrician and a Senator. Their marriage was a bit of a scandal—she brought in a big dowry but he could’ve made a much better political match—but she produced an heir & a spare & at least one beautiful daughter perfect for political marriage…if Daphne didn’t prefer running around the Empire solving mysteries with a gang of meddling youths!

[nodnodnod] this all makes sense, yes. (However if we're moving around where Fred is from, maybe something a little further afield? We're hitting Central Asia, the British Isles, Greece/Egypt... how about Moroccan? Or we bop on back to the Scandinavia idea?)

#all of this is very fun #though I do think it’s called the mystery machine so #in my heart the horses names are mystery and machine <3#but this is trivial and I’m very sleepy peace and love on planet earth (via @bingusthebongus)

Whoops! Though a fun option given to us by @queer-folk-abroad is naming them "Aenigma and Vanguard," so I guess that would possibly mean swapping out Vanguard for a variation of Mechana?