oh no

i've got the kind of eyebags that make people in movies say 'you look like hell, detective. go home.'

my least favorite literary smut turn of phrase is when a guy is like “im gonna ruin this pussy” “im gonna wreck this pussy for anyone else” like stop.. thats not yours…!

You're full of shit, Hawaiians are just able to levitate coconut milk.

did a bit of driving through the state of georgia today and wound up driving through a small town that i later discovered was called newborn, which is an odd name but doesn’t technically have anything wrong with it, except for the fact that i nearly gave myself whiplash doing a double-take at a building sign advertising NEWBORN TAXIDERMY

i think an electrolyte just bit me

Does anyone know what to do about the temperature and also the prices

im not above eating some low hanging fruit like if theres low hanging fruit i might eat some

this fic is so good i hope i write it

lisa simpson could replace light yagami and successfully trick L but light could never handle having bart as a brother

women being in love with women is so beautiful

i think more final girls should be forty and kind of weird and off-putting