the watery bit when you don't shake the mustard

If you're hypermobile, be especially gentle.

everyone who reblogs this and is like "I ordered my own tea this week" or "I only barfed once when I had to give a presentation'- you are doing amazing sweetie. Have patience with yourself, you are relearning a skill so difficult that people get 4 year degrees to do it professionally.

we used to turn the tv on and just watch whatever was on there

Yes, it was frequently The Simpsons.

Tattoo artist and I were debating over where to place my thigh tattoo. I, pants pulled down and half a buttcheek out in a large airy room in front of the windows said nervously “haha, I know I have a lot of thigh to work with” and they go “OMG yes I feel so bad for skinny clients because their art gets all crowded. You could get some nice big pieces on your arms and legs though”. Hell yeah my friend. Yet another W for the fat crowd tonight.

My mans unlocked a higher level of synesthesia

The other day my wife told me about this influencer who said she needed to go on ozempic so she could go from 130 lbs down to 115 and I really cannot stress the degree to which we have so COMPLETELY lost the plot with this glp1 shit. Like not only are people are going on this shit for purely cosmetic purposes, the cosmetic purposes are delusional. This is the kind of mindset that gives people eating disorders but now because you can get a prescription instead of having to starve yourself or enduce vomiting a big swath of the general public seems eager to go along with it. Body Positivity did not go fucking far enough because I am being so real when I say that fatphobia is more of a public health crisis than obesity has ever been

you are not immune to inventing an arbitrary set of rules that only you have to adhere to