A bing and a bop

I am enamored with the idea of going to a GDQ sometime soon all by myself and just being Out. It feels like the only way I'd really get experience that in any meaningful way.

Kinda feel like I'm at a breaking point. I feel like I've stagnated. I know what I want but I'm too cowardly to ever do anything about it on top of feeling hopeless about the whole thing as it is. I have no one to talk to about this.

Don't even really know what I opened this to say. I just wish I was born different. Taking any steps to actually BE different feels impossible.

It's getting to the point where I don't want to be a girl as much as I just don't want to be here anymore

I've really kind of felt nothing for the last few days and I think I'm making this whole trans thing up even though I've been feeling this way for the last like three years.