Like Darth Vader, But Sexier

T-shirt that says "I'M SORRY FOR THE PERSON I BECOME WHEN I'M OVERHEATED"

i love declining birth rates 🥰 "what a horrible problem! society will collapse!" oopsie it looks like you're gonna have to make having children worth it 😊 teehee you're gonna have to improve society in order to fix this problem, or it will all collapse. oh noooooo. how horrible. :3c

I just can’t believe some of u are soooo young u didn’t experience the early 2000s at all like even briefly . U were born and ur mother door dashed you home from the hospital

actually i was in the NICU for a couple weeks after being pieced together by surgeons but whatever lmao

That’s because she used klarna. To pay through 4 easy installments with no interest

me in my late 20's: "to be honest i don't really fuck with spongebob anymore" me 10 years later: "the first 3 seasons of spongebob are the high-water mark of modernist post-marxist absurdist slapstick comedy"

To be clear I have never been more proud of anyone or anything

it's called a ball python because it is a python(🐍) that ball(🟠)

walking around the dashboard at four in the morning stepping on all the creaking posts loud as fuck

I am the surgeon & I am the patient & I am the technician handing over the scalpel & I am the scalpel & I am the pervert touching themselves in the corner

it’s never a normal temperature anymore it’s always some fucking bullshit

Having a job is an awesome way to stay hydrated because you get so bored you start drinking water just for a little excitement

so I got into grad school today with my shitty 2.8 gpa and the moral of the story is reblog those good luck posts for the love of god

i need all the help i can get for finals

I could use some luck

Eh–what have I got to lose?

this post worked for me a couple years ago when I needed a job and it fucking worked so

it’s never a normal temperature anymore it’s always some fucking bullshit

i have an urgent suggestion