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welcome to my blog the rest of the world is stupid

idk why she’s anthropomorphizing a rock but i love it

why not also make up Gods and Mao Zedong and bring them into your squid novel

i kind of need a kim jung un creepypasta tbh. i can’t think how to go about writing it though

human: :finger: <index finger pointing up alien: OoOo-ooOooOoOo-OooOooOooOoOoO - what sounds like alien chatter but in reality is saying the following: "As you will it, my master"

I'm Glass Beach

r andy of the band r.e.m. invented the phrase “alternate universes” and @ 6 claimed the money to the word “interwebz” because he just thought it was funny && also he made up the word “aranreranaran” when i asked him what noise a cool lizard would make

im drunk watching the pink panther movies and they’re real good. the stuff with the inspector is hits my funny bone right

from the “the shape of selfies to come” series

i love getting weird requests like “the musical equivelant of black mold” and somehow making it happen

List Of People I Know friend acquaintance stranger Fictional character of uncertain Academy Award caliber / Intelligent semi-organic lifeform / Unidentified extraterrestrial entity

there should be a version of monopoly where rather than buying properties you give them away to people who need them

penguins <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< gay sex

i know how to do a lot of great shit but i don’t always know how to be great

me: *takes a bite of egg* guy in suit: you've been egged me: what the fuck guy in suit: you're at 0 fate points and 5 charlie brown stocks, how are you gonna make like a deer and get the egg out of there me: what the fuck are you saying guy in suit, sweating: i am just a normal guy, and you and me and the rest of the egg gang are gonna pull this together, so what do you wanna do me, choking on egg: what the fuck are you saying

Why does every boy I talk to say Bean like it’s my name but Bean is not my name it’s a title it describes my true essence