Occupation: The Dryer Gremlin Who Eats Your Socks

i don't WANT to drink water I WANT a bard to draft a eulogy for me to criticise!!!!!!!

my bad yall

there is no shame or guilt in our bodies doing what they were made to do. and we are made for pleasure.

Wh-what do you mean it’s from a birthday cake

We could have been eating him

Quilt is Corona II by Caryl Bryer Fallert 

It was very funny to watch the crappy show just to see my friend, because most episodes he just didnt feature at all. He didn't stress about winning the big prize or anything, he just treated it as a vacation where he got to chill out for two months and get paid for it. A real icon.

Rusty Nail is so patient with little kids

I still remember a million years ago when this dog was the size of a laptop

she slept in my room last night (because I am an exciting visitor), but around 2am she decided she wanted to leave. and I guess some dogs don’t have good night vision? so she just stood in front of the open door whimpering and soft barking and pawing at the ground like a horse until I got up and walked in and out of the room repeatedly to demonstrate the openness of the door

I built a cure little minecraft house