vampire posting hours 24/7

[bird consoling his other bird friend] yeah don't worry man that guy can't kill both of us. he only has one stone

hey guys im making french toast sticks in the oven. I’m gonna take a quick nap wake me up in 5 minutes so i can flip them over

Randy its been five minutes flip your sticks

snnnnzzzzz

gonna start making snopes-style responses to urban legends about tumblr

Does anyone know what to do about the temperature and also the prices

also the general state of things

using "what were YOU doing at the devils sacrament" to mean "yeah i made an embarrassing reference but you understood it which is also embarrassing" is very funny to me

my favorite part is that absolutely nobody says this except here. so if you use it in public, it's a dead giveaway that you spent the last ten years on tumblr. but then again, they recognized it, which means they were at the devil's sacrament

At a certain point, the appropriate response to "What were you doing at the devil's sacrament" becomes "stealing shoelaces from the president."

Reblog if you were stealing shoelaces from the President

Well what ELSE were we supposed to do at the devil's sacrament????

Imagine if people watched Interview with the Vampire and it inspired them to think about how the past is in a very real way inaccessible to us and memory can be misleading even when you're not being dishonest and different people can have different experiences of the same event that feel emotionally true and are very real to the people who experienced them even if they contradict each other and often you will never be able to know what really happened and how this can make repairing damaged relationships difficult and threatening to a person's sense of self

Behold: My deeply explicitly erotic zine full of very, very mature material

took a depression nap and all i remember from my nap dreams is a nonsensical t-shirt design that left me feeling dazed and confused after i woke up.

i've loved every second of the vampire lestat because i have an open joyous heart and a beautiful mind

it’s time for demons to come out of the ground and for everyone to get special powers

Can they maybe not

you’re prejudiced against new ideas.

Was just having a discussion with my fiance that taco bell should change their slogan to "it's gonna be okay" or at the very least shorten "live más" to "live". just feels like thats what we need from them

They should change it to "live por favor" and when they hand you your order you hold hands for a moment and look in each others eyes