then and now
Sweet Seals For You, Always
$LAYYYTER
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
🩵 avery cochrane 🩵
𓃗
todays bird
Mike Driver
Xuebing Du
d e v o n
trying on a metaphor
noise dept.
Cosmic Funnies
untitled

Andulka

tannertan36

blake kathryn
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ

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@altbadumm
then and now

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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i just got the "see where your blood has gone!" email from giving blood but it glitched and just showed me my current location. which. theyre not wrong. that is where most of my blood is
Ilya: Marly, I need to tell you something because you are my friend.
Marleau: Yeah whats up?
Ilya: I am bisexual
Marleau: ...okay?
Ilya: The fuck does that mean?
Marleau: I already know that
Ilya: How did you know?
Marleau: You've literally begged to suck my dick at least twice while hammered
Ilya: .....
Ilya: .....
Ilya: .....
Ilya: Did you let me?
Marleau: Uh, yeah. Duh.
great job everyone lets hit the showers
Not again
gentle reminder that you can’t get this kind of nonsense from any other site
This thread is almost eight years old and it has damn well earned its place among the Tumblr pantheon as a Heritage Post™️
don't even worry about it

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trobed!!
hey mom wjat
Ilya Rozanov sleep masks collection
my family has had some pretty interesting encounters with psychics/mediums that seem genuine in the past, but nothing will ever be funnier to me than the last guy my mom talked to who was so definitely bullshitting, because she said "I was hoping to hear from my husband" and the guy went "he said....it's okay to Move On" and like. every single person my mom has recounted this too has been like "He Would Not Fucking Say That". as if this was an ooc fanfic about my father. it's just so fucking funny. fake psychic dude take your shitty headcanons about my ghost dad and LEAVE!!!
like, my parents were legitimately insane about each other. I cannot stress how much he wouldn't say that. I have to assume his ghost was standing right next to this fake psychic yelling "WHAT THE FUCK!!!!" when he told my mom to move on lmfao
actually. funnier to imagine he was a Real Psychic who was just trying to put a move on my mom and didn't think the ghost would do anything about it and now is now dealing with a violently angry haunting for the rest of his days lmfao
this psychic for the rest of his life all because he tried to hit on some dead guy's wife in an elevator
Ghost Dad: WE LITERALLY CHANGED OUR VOWS BECAUSE WE DIDN'T LIKE "TILL DEATH DO US PART"
Psychic: he says you need a real man. a tangible one. a man visible to the average eye.
Psychic: I also choose this guy’s still-alive wife.
Every time I see that last pic, I have to note that the funniest line is the one immediately after the highlight

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just a heads up. im gonna do a big curse soon
okay so honestly i wasn’t expecting they’d be able to hide the body for this long
LINDSEY GRAHAM ?
WHICH ONE OF US GOT HIM?!?!?
Post canon AU where Dean tells cas ‘I love you’ all the time but Castiel is too scared/PTSD to say it out loud again
Smileee :-)
World cup codywan ⚽️👀
Trinity "i will be kind to you but cover it up with some bullshit" Santos my beloved <3

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top mic’d up moments compilation: cliff marleau edition
“slow down slow down SLOW DOWN JESUS”
“don’t you ever talk about my mother again i’m so fuckin’ serious dog keep that shit OUT of your mouth”
*laughing so hard he snorts*
“hey have you guys seen my mouthguard. oh haha it’s in my mouth my bad”
*quietly singing fergalicious to himself on the bench while staring at the jumbotron*
“hey roz! roz! dude, look, look at this trick - bro you are NOT even looking. okay, no, it’s cool, you want me dead, it’s fine”
“huh? fight? nah dude, i don’t - fuck man come on i have a date tomorrow don’t fuckin’ -“ *loud scuffling noises*
*laughing so hard he snorts*
*falls on his ass* “whoops”
*falls on his ass again* “whoops fuck”
“how do you think they get the little prizes inside the kinder eggs. carmichael. hey carmichael. CARMICHAEL. HOW DO YOU THINK -“
*quietly singing glamorous by fergie to himself (he misspells “glamorous”*
Shane follows Yuna outside and for the first time (of what will later be innumerable times), David is left alone with Ilya Rozanov.
Initially, he's too worried about how the conversation between his wife and his son is going to really think too much about the enormous hockey player opposite him. But after a few moments he realises that it's too quiet.
It's not that he's expecting Rozanov – Ilya – to be as loud and showboaty as he is in interviews, but he's definitely not expecting the man to be intently staring into his glass like it holds all the secrets of the universe, not moving a single muscle. David is sure this isn't just normal meeting-the-parents nerves. It's terror, like Ilya is scared to do or say anything. Like he's scared it'll provoke David or something.
And suddenly Ilya doesn't seem like an enormous hockey player at all – just a scared kid in a situation he didn't plan for or expect anymore than his son did. After all, David has also accidentally outed him.
He regards Ilya for a moment before clearing his throat.
"So, Ilya, what do you like to eat?"
Ilya's head snaps up and his eyes meet David's.
"I'm sorry?" He says it carefully, like he's waiting for it to be a trick question, and David's heart gives a little pang. What has happened to this kid to make him so suspicious and anxious?
"What's your favourite thing to eat?" David asks with a smile, making sure his voice is as calm and gentle as possible. It feels a bit like he's trying to coax a scared and cornered animal out from under a car. "I think you and Shane should stay for dinner. Since I think we'll be seeing more of you from now on, I'd like to know what kind of food you enjoy so that we can make it for you when you visit. So what can I get you? Burgers? Pasta? We have a pizza oven if you'd like a pizza?"
"Pasta," says Ilya, the corners of his mouth turning up in an encouraging way. "If it's like the pasta Shane makes, I think I will really like that."
"Pasta it is then," says David, smile growing at the way Ilya's shoulders settle. He resolves right then to make sure that Ilya will never feel this terrified in his home again. "Want to help me get it started? Beats sitting here worrying about how the conversation outside is going, right?"
"Right," says Ilya with the first real smile he's ever seen from him. And David sees it then – sees the man that Shane must have seen beneath the bravado, beneath the act.
You're home now, Ilya, he thinks to himself as they make their way to the kitchen. Welcome to the family.