The Queen In Yellow

star trek heritage post (February 20th, 2019)

the descendants movies are so crazy because the premise is literally what if all of the disney animated movies happened at the same time and afterwards the Good Guys resurrected all of their villains to give them a life sentence on a penal colony island where the only natural resource is an unlimited supply of pleather

it's like 99% about how the kids of the various disney princesses® going to school together and having cellphones but also cruella de vil's bleach-haired bastard son is there. who even asked for cruella to be included. were the working class human protagonists from 101 dalmatians involved in the construction of the penal colony or did the dogs represent themselves. and how does cruella successful manage hobnobbing with three actual evil wizards. the series starts 20 years later so they can all have fuckass little kids going to school so maybe it's been long enough for those kinds of barriers to be broken down but it seems crazy that three genuine article practitioners of the dark arts let a woman whose main claim to notoriety was "failing to kill a vast quantity of puppies" into the friend group. and by friend group I mean a polycule barely a step above the grandparents from charlie and the chocolate factory in terms of functionality.

in like the first 60 seconds you learn that after all of the disney animated movies happened at the same time all of the protagonists decided to merge their kingdoms into one mega kingdom and they democratically elected the beast, as in beauty and the, to be their Mega King who's more in charge than everyone else. the sociopolitical implications of all of the disney royalty deciding to surrender sovereignty to become The Empire of the Beast are kind of mind-blowing but it's hard to focus on that because new teenagers keep showing up and announcing "my name is Mo. you know, the daughter of Quasimodo?" I guess everyone defining themselves so strictly in terms of parentage and family line is sort of what you'd expect from a society that's basically structured the same was as game of thrones but christ.

the main plot of the first movie is that the 16 year old heir to the Empire of the Beast is about to be crowned god emperor while he's still in high school (why?) and reveals he has a bit of an abolitionist streak re: his parents' horrific penal colony. which is cool and all, it really seems like he must have had to fight against propaganda like a salmon swimming upstream to arrive at the conclusion that the penal colony is a little uncool. but also pretty immediately after he lets four villain kids into society maleficent's purple haired ne'er-do-well hits him with a love potion that leads him to unceremoniously dump his long-term girlfriend (baby sleeping beauty) in an extremely public spectacle after The Big Game. please my liege I know you're entranced by her purple hair and edgy spray painting but sleeping beauty is calling her bannermen to arms. this insult will not stand. also the effects of the love potion wear off almost immediately but he doesn't say ANYTHING and just lets his new gf keep sweating about having him ensorcelled until she brings it up herself, at which point he confirms that he's been aware for A While and is cool with her (successfully!!!) slipping him a magic roofie. they just keep dating and the only person mad about it is the girl who got dumped in front of the entire school.

Having a "stupider people have done this" attitude about the things you want to do can open so many doors

do not perceive me

Hetero Jessica is a lie, Jessica is like the least Hetero of your parents friends

Twelve-year-old me would have loved to see this post when I was obsessed with Sweet Valley High.

i love how sinners was basically like “the cunnilingus was there. it didnt change anything. it didnt save anyone. there were just too many forces against it. but it still matters that the cunnilingus was there”

i love how sinners was basically like “the cunnilingus was there. it didnt change anything. it didnt save anyone. there were just too many forces against it. but it still matters that the cunnilingus was there”

im completely addicted to Open Link in New Tab

if Open Link in New Tab is wrong then baby i dont want to be right

Those are the worst photos of a rabbit ever taken. I'm in love with your weird dog and his emotional support dust pile

@chillyfeetsteak Wait, scroll back up to the first pic! Is that a chair arm upholstered in a map?? Can I see it???? Where did you get it? I love it.

99 inch nails: I wanna fuck you like a luftballoon

Yes yes yes this scene thank you for the tag, heehehehe

It’s funny because this scene must be based on the memoir Special Agent by Candis DeLong. In it she describes being out looking at clothes at a department store on lunch break with another female agent and overhearing a conversation between a man and a woman in which he says he’s an FBI agent. They peer around some clothes racks thinking that they’re going to see one of their fellow agents trying to get a date, and when they don’t recognize the guy they go over and pretend to be interested in the big strong FBI agent themselves and ask to see his badge. The guy actually pulled out a fake badge, whereupon they said “Huh, that doesn’t look anything like ours…”, produced their own badges and arrested him for impersonating an FBI agent. (I remember this bit from a 25 year old book because I actually stole it myself for a fic)

Exquisite. Glorious. 10/10 thank you for sharing.