The Queen In Yellow

I Was So Good And Polite They Are Putting Me In The Touch Tank At Aquarium Tomorrow.

every so often i think about animals that were invented because people just didn't know shit about the world. did you know about the lepus cornutus. did you know that people used to think horned rabbits were a real thing and gave them a latin name and everything in like the 18th century but then we figured out that sometimes rabbits just have bone spurs. did you know that people heard about a strange plant that had the "wool like an animal" and because they didn't know what cotton was people in england were like "oh ok that's the barometz, a beautiful tree that sprouts a lamb." at one point there was a rumor that seagulls or some shit drank blood

If you have ever met a seagull, you will also believe they drink blood.

FUCK. i think i have to learn blender

the humble manual smoothie maker after they break their hands:

every day i log in here and get beat up by genies

Hey, OP, what the fuck?

#Dean at any given time: baby I don't care you committed war crimes we can work it out just come home @valdelion

his wife has filled THEIR house with ANTIQUES. to AVOID DAMAGING HER VALUABLES i fuck him on the floor

#feminist retelling

don';t ever explore your emotions through fiction this shit is scary

regret to inform — your emotions are getting explored in the fiction whether you want that to happen or not

Mitch McConnell has been sent to a nice farm out in the country where there's lots of open space to run around and lots of other senators for him to play with

can we send him to the glue factory instead

complimented a womans clear raincoat this morning and she said Well i feel like a sandwich

Armand got in on the ground floor of that 20 year old loser. kept checking in on him like he was proofing sourdough until he had a beautiful geriatric fag ready to go into the oven of vampirism and emerge the perfect companion. he saw Daniel sniffing around for coke at Polynesian Mary's and said give me fifty years I can make him the hottest guy you've ever seen. and Louis was just happy he was finally taking an interest in investment because it gave them something to bond over besides missing that blond man's pussy. like it's the only long con Armand has ever successfully pulled. hard work pays off in the form of a 70something boytoy who looks suspiciously like your evil father. i'm so proud of him. my weird bug.

It was hard working finding out if the chair of the Senate Rules Committee was actually alive, but they did it!

love between vampires can be one thing, or it can be countless things. however you want me, i can be that for you. you said you want me to be present as your maker? i can be a maker for you. i want to be your maker. disregard the last 500 years in which i was repulsed by the idea. i don't have any complicated feelings about that at all. you said you want cool vampire powers even though you're a three year old fledgling? i can help you become a daywalker, a skill that apparently takes centuries to develop. you're an investigative journalist, don't you want a scandal on lestat? i can give you a scandal. i want to help you finish that job. lestat fucks his mom. isn't that good? aren't i useful? aren't i worth keeping around?

aren’t I interesting????