
blake kathryn

Kiana Khansmith
Today's Document
trying on a metaphor

titsay

taylor price
RMH

pixel skylines
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
Claire Keane
Xuebing Du
Three Goblin Art
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
KIROKAZE

PR's Tumblrdome
occasionally subtle

if i look back, i am lost

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@als-vuur

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Just making use of my free will
Inspo🖼:The Meeting on the Turret Stairs
Shane doesn't want kids. He's never said so in so many words, but Ilya's read between the lines. He remembers Shane's interview after Pike asked him to be his daughter's godfather. How the interviewer had asked if he hoped to have kids of his own one day. How Shane had gone a little blank and guarded the way he does whenever he's asked a difficult question. How he'd come back with a perfect media-trained answer ("Not sure. Right now, my responsibility is making sure the cup comes back to Montreal. That's my baby.") How every similar question after that was met with a similar answer, until eventually reporters learned to stop asking.
So Ilya knows that Shane doesn't want kids. And that's fine. Ilya thinks he does want them, but not so badly that he couldn't live without them if Shane didn't want them. Their family is already perfect, just the two of them. And Ilya gets to help look after Pike's kids sometimes, and he adores those kids, so that's good enough.
That's why Ilya is completely blindsided one day when Shane turns to him after settling all the Pike kids down for their afternoon nap, and says, "Do you think our kids would be this easy to settle if we ever had them?"
And Ilya's so shocked that his brain has to buffer for a moment. He's just staring at Shane, whose cheeks are now flushing with colour. Ilya can't figure out where to start with this conversation, and the longer he's taking to reply the more awkward Shane is getting, until eventually his eyes drop to his hands. "I mean, uh, nevermind. Forget I said anything. I just thought... nevermind."
This snaps Ilya out of it. "Where is this coming from? I thought you didn't want kids?"
And Shane has a little confused frown on his face. "I've always wanted kids. I thought you might not want kids. You always get a little weird when anyone brings it up in conversation. I can't ever get a good read on what you want."
And this is truly not how Ilya thought this conversation was going to go if they ever had it.
"But what about all those interviews where you avoid the question? All that 'the cup is my only baby' stuff...?"
"That's because it's a stupid fucking question and none of their business," Shane laughs. "And also because it's not something I thought I'd ever be able to have. Not when I couldn't imagine ever being happy with a woman. Not when I thought I'd never be with someone I actually wanted to build a life with. But with you? Yeah. Yeah one day when hockey is done, Ilya Rozanov, I'd really like to have kids with you. But only if you want it to."
And Ilya smiles Tampa-bar bright, and swoops in to kiss Shane all giddy and messy, following it up with at least a dozen more peppered all over his face.
"Of course I want to have babies with you. They would be the most beautiful babies in the world," he says. And then he looks around the living room. "How mad do you think Hayden would be if we made our first one right now?"
He's waggling his eyebrows, and Shane laughs and shoves him.
"Fuck off, asshole," he says, leaning in to kiss him again. Before pulling away, lips still brushing Ilya's, Shane mutters, "When we get home, I'll let you try to make as many as you want."
Thinking about Shane and Ilya only starting to discover each other's likes and dislikes after knowing each other for almost a decade is actually so funny.
Because like, picture it, it's their first morning waking up together at the cottage, and after a little bit of lazy making out and cuddling, Shane decides he wants to sleep some more. So Ilya takes it upon himself to make breakfast, partly to thank Shane for everything, partly because he's now sure that he's absolutely in love with this man, and partly to show off his excellent culinary skills.
And even though Shane looks so touched when Ilya wakes him up with breakfast in bed, Ilya notices the smile drop slightly when his eyes land on the scrambled eggs. But then it's back twice as big a moment later as Shane thanks him, so Ilya figures it's nothing.
And then Shane actually starts eating and Ilya watches as he eats his bacon and all of the toast around the eggs. When Shane finally takes a small forkful of egg, he's like "Mmm, delicious," but he looks like chewing it is an effort in the way that scrambled eggs just shouldn't be.
"Shane," says Ilya, trying to fight down a laugh, but only because this man really is the sweetest person in the world, "is there something wrong with the eggs?"
"No!" he replies, a little too defensively, taking an even bigger mouthful. He immediately looks like he's concentrating really hard not to gag. Shane then takes an enormous swig of coffee like he's trying to wash it as far down as possible, and now Ilya is laughing because this man is ridiculous and his heart feels like it might explode with how much he loves him.
"If you don't like eggs you can just say so," says Ilya, grabbing his hand to prevent him from inflicting any more of it upon himself. "I won't be mad."
And Shane gives him the biggest most apologetic look with those stupidly beautiful brown eyes of his.
"It's just scrambled eggs," he mumbles, cheeks red as he sets down the plate on the nightstand. "Sorry, I should have just said. I just still feel like shit about that time in Boston and I... I didn't want you to think that it's a problem with your cooking or something."
And Ilya can't help it, he laughs and leans forward to steal a coffee-flavoured kiss.
"I know my cooking is not why you keep me around," he says, and runs his tongue over Shane's bottom lip. "And now I know that scrambled eggs are evil. You want me to help you forget all about them?"
And until the two of them emerge from bed several hours later, they do.
One thing I’ve seen happens in this fandom- and honestly sometimes in real life discussions about Hudson too- is that people end up flattening all POC experiences into one universal experience.
Race absolutely matters. Racism absolutely exists. But different racial groups are stereotyped in different ways, and those stereotypes can produce completely different social expectations.
For example, I’ve seen people criticize Rachel and Jacob for joking about Hudson being unintelligent because he’s a person of color. If Hudson were Black, I would understand that criticism more, because there is a long history of anti-Black stereotypes portraying Black people as unintelligent. But Hudson is Asian. Asian men are stereotyped in almost the opposite way. They’re often assumed to be intelligent, studious, and academically successful. The stereotype is still racist, but it’s a different stereotype. It doesn’t suddenly become an anti-Asian stereotype just because we’ve replaced “Asian” with the broader category of “POC.”
The same thing happens constantly in fanfiction with Shane.
A lot of writers portray Shane as being afraid to fight because he knows he’ll be judged more harshly than white players. I understand where that idea is coming from, but as a black person I’ve never found it particularly convincing.
If Shane were black, that analysis would make more sense to me. Black men are often stereotyped as aggressive, which means behavior that is considered acceptable from white athletes is often interpreted differently when black ones do it.
But asian men occupy a very different place in the racial imagination. They’re frequently stereotyped as passive, non-threatening, weak, nerdy, emasculated, etc. If racial stereotypes were influencing Shane’s approach to hockey, I could just as easily imagine the opposite dynamic: feeling pressure to prove he’s aggressive enough to belong. Maybe he’s fighting TOO much.
But that doesn’t make sense for Shane. He’s the league’s golden boy. He’s polite, media-friendly, and heavily inspired by Sidney Crosby. He’s a superstar. Fighting is often delegated to players lower on the depth chart whose role is specifically to provide physicality. Star players generally aren’t expected to be enforcers. Teams usually want their elite talent scoring goals, not sitting in the penalty box after dropping the gloves.
So Shane not fighting much doesn’t strike me as evidence of racial pressure. It strikes me as evidence that he’s Shane Hollander.
Crosby is a useful comparison here. For years, people mocked him for not being physical enough (and for talking to the refs too much). They questioned his toughness and masculinity. They called him “Crybaby Crosby” or “Cindy Crosby.” Fans edited photos of him in dresses or makeup. The criticism wasn’t really about hockey. The joke was that he wasn’t a “real man.”
And that’s a white player.
Imagine how much worse those conversations could become if the player in question were Asian.
That’s the kind of racial dynamic I could actually see affecting Shane, not him worrying about people thinking he’s too aggressive, but people questioning whether aggressive ENOUGH.
There’s a good chance that if Shane fought exactly like many white players, he probably still wouldn’t be viewed as tough enough. Meanwhile, if a Black player fought exactly like those same white players, he might be interpreted as more aggressive.
People often criticize Rachel for not doing much racial analysis in the books. But sometimes fandom fills that gap with racial analysis that feels disconnected from both hockey culture and the specific stereotypes that affect different racial groups.
Not every POC experience is interchangeable.
A stereotype that affects Black athletes is not automatically a stereotype that affects Asian athletes. A stereotype that affects Latino athletes is not automatically a stereotype that affects Indigenous athletes.
If we’re going to talk about race- and we should- we have to talk about the actual racial dynamics at play, not just substitute “person of color” for a more specific analysis.
Sometimes no racial analysis is better than bad racial analysis.

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It's terribly simple. The good guys are always stalwart and true. The bad guys are easily distinguished by their pointy horns or black hats. And we always defeat them and save the day. No one ever dies and everybody lives happily ever after.
ANTHONY STEWART HEAD as Rupert Giles
napmaxxing
hollanov baby
Check, Please! is now updating (again) on Webtoon! BITTY & I was just posted online.
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I'm rereading heated rivalry the book and book Shane is so competitive that when they first hook up and Ilya swallows when Shane doesn't, Shane feels like Ilya beat him at gay blow jobs. #hashtagmyshane

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the latest piece in my ongoing war against half tone and layer effects feat. ellisantos
twitter ko-fi
i want to abuse my government expense account to buy grace candy
can't take these two anywhere
base under the cut snip snip
bellboy mr shane hollander at your service!
I wanted to give Harrison Browne his flowers in what little way I could so here’s this quick portrait. What an inspirational human being. (And the only pro hockey player on the damn show.)
Best of luck in all of your endeavors. I hope Connors got his room service.
We all deserve sunshine. ☀️

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Okay, so there's a scene in Project Hail Mary (book) not long after Grace and Rocky meet when Grace leaves to sleep while Rocky is absent from their tunnel and leaves the amount of time he'll be gone taped to the wall between them in popsicle sticks. Grace then oversleeps and is gone more than two hours longer than he said he would be. He wakes up and Rocky is tapping on their divider wall loud enough to be heard in the crew quarters and he's very upset when Grace reappears, hitting the wall and the numbers and pointing to his clock and shaking his fist. And the first time I heard that I went "lil guy why are you so impatient" but after hearing the rest of his story it hit me:
Rocky lost his entire crew to an unknown illness and has been alone in space for forty six years. Lil guy wasn't impatient he was freaking frantic that something had happened to the only other being he'd met in the past fifty years and relieved and understandably worked up when Grace reappeared and was just fine but oh my word, can you imagine? You've been alone for so long and you don't even know what killed your crew or why you survived and you finally, finally meet another person and they leave you a note for when they're gonna be back AND THEN THEY DON'T SHOW UP ON TIME?! where are they question?! are they okay question?!
And all you can do to ask, "hey are you okay over there question?!" is bang on the wall between your two ships and HOPE that this person you met didn't just die or have a horrible accident. FOR TWO HOURS. Headcanon that those two hours were when Rocky came up with the idea for the zenonite ball so he could come into the Hail Mary because he HAD to be able to make sure Grace was okay, even before they were friends, he could not lose anybody else, even this weird alien he just met, this is the first time he's had HOPE in almost FIFTY YEARS. It's no wonder he insists on watching Grace sleep as soon as they have the words for it. ;-;
Ilya Rozanov used to be the hockey king of insta thrist trap. Between shameful displays of the dick arrow and the broadness of his back, every so often traced with marks, the people were salivating. Thirst straps were periodically interrupted by pictures of him going wild at the club, in the dump a picture of him with a girl he definitely took home that night. Wild life hot athlete in a package. Then suddenly nothing since Tampa Bay's all-star game except for professional hockey announcements definitely written by his team. Until a fateful wedding picture photo dump that was actually the announcement of the thrist straps returns. Except the subject isn't him exclusively. Actually he's more like a rare treat on his own feed because all his post are about Shane Hollander looking extremely hot and sexy whenever and wherever. Laundry day, gym, bed, cleaning the living room, hiking, it's a Shane Hollander Fan page.