i dont really know what kind of girl i am

yes im addicted to attention and orgasms and food and shiny jewlery and 7$ Iced Lattes. does that really not sound like an awesome lifestyle to you

Throwing firebombs at Jews gathering to raise awareness for the suffering of other Jews isn't antisemitism. Calling AIPAC "dark money" when it discloses its donors and saying it "turns us against each other" isn't antisemitic. Chanting "khaybar khaybar ya yahood" isn't antisemitic. Yelling "fucking Jew pricks" at random pedestrians isn't antisemitic. Shooting up a Chanukah party isn't antisemitic. Deliberately drawing on tropes about Jews and money and political influence for votes isn't antisemitic. Telling a Jewish American politician he serves "Israeli masters" isn't antisemitic. The only two antisemitic things that have happened in the last eighty years are Elon Musk's Nazi salute and Harry Potter Goblin. Wow! Incredible!

Stephen King’s Fujo

well, you see, it's very simple. coronabeth always wanted to occupy naberius's position but was forced to occupy ianthe's. ianthe got jealous of corona's position and dealt with this by fusing her own soul with naberius. naberius liked coronabeth better but had more in common with ianthe, with whom he shared roughly zero common interests. coronabeth and ianthe spent every day together for 21 years, and during that time developed absolutely no ability to empathize with each other. no one really understood corona like naberius did, which is to say that no one really understood corona. corona tried to understand ianthe, except no she didn't. no one even attempted to understand naberius. naberius was corona's cavalier in his heart, and she was ianthe's cavalier in her heart, and ianthe said fuck you both and became her own cavalier. they had all known each other their entire lives. none of them knew each other at all. they were all sworn to protect and uphold at least one other member of the group. none of them particularly liked either of the others as people. the only one taking this seriously was ianthe. the only one taking this seriously was coronabeth. the only one taking this seriously was naberius. and they all, most importantly, fucking sucked. but god, who wouldn't?

Why Wayne got socks in the jacuzzi

those are his hooves you bitch

i love people so much that im trying to be one myself. its a bit crazy, i know…

do y’all remember before direct messages tumblr had a dumbass ask limit of 10 per hour and communication was impossible until they introduced dumbass fan mail and we were basically sending telegraphs back in forth trying to communicate those were…dark times

Do y'all remember when they finally gave us direct messages and instead of doing it normally, they gave it to a few people at a time and we had to infect each other with it like a virus

remember when any post with more than like 6 people talking was unreadably smushed except for the last few additions remember when any post of over 500 characters became a link back to op’s blog readmore style remember when video and audio posts had about a 10% chance of working when you click play

As a recent user I love finding out shit like this from older users. What the fuck guys???? Why were you USING IT AT ALL?!??

believe it or not, we liked that more

its worth noting that immediately after these updates that made everything better, we were all angry about it