i dont really know what kind of girl i am

holy shit

one moment ☝️ *pauses the blowjob to start violently coughing up blood*

never lose hope. somewhere, a middle-aged, gender ambiguous person with an advanced degree in an esoteric field and a fiber arts hobby could be crashing out and pinning all their remaining mental health on getting obsessed with your otp. any day now, the most elegantly written 100k fanfic you have ever read is going to hit ao3. it could happen. it has happened.

I need a blowjob but I don’t have a penis or a strap on and I’m not taking off my pants so you’re just gonna have to figure it out

the world is my cuck chair

the grink was there. it didnt change anything but it still matters that the grink was there.

i always tell myself that nobody is judging my windshield wiper speed but then i saw a car this morning with their wipers going crazy for only a light sprinkle and I can't lie, i judged them for it a bit

I will create the world's first ontologically evil baseball team

Yankees beat you to it by like 113 years