soft butch with a subaru

Shane:

which means the first time shane is riding him and is close to finishing and thus shoves him the FUCK back down when ilya is about to sit up and turn them hits ilya like a fucking FREIGHT TRAIN

And like, Ilya expected them to get stopped a little. He got recognized and stopped in Boston. But he wasn’t expecting to be recorded pretty much all day. Photos, video, the second anyone recognizes them - and everyone recognizes them - phones are out. Shane is repeatedly apologized to and told not to pay for a single thing all day. He leaves like a 300% tip on each of their purchases, but still. No one will let him pay for anything.

And everyone wants a picture. People are not shy about coming to him and asking for a picture or an autograph and Shane just - gives them whatever they want. Grown adults, teenagers, parents with small children… Shane and Ilya take a photo with each of the business owners to hang on their wall. The owner of the cafe almost cries when she sees him and gives him a big hug. She doesn’t need to ask for his order; she remembers it and she gives him a special energy breakfast ball thing she’s been perfecting with him in mind.

The bakery made his favourite cookie in the approximate shape and size of a puck because they heard he was in town and hoped he’d swing by.

“Hollander, you own a bar here?”

“Uh, nope, they just… changed it after I left. Used to be called Chez Serge. Hayden told me there’s a winebar called 2481 in the village now. Or maybe Saint Henri? I can’t remember.”

It’s fucking insane. And Ilya knew it was insane, but this… this is actually fucking crazy.

The only place that isn’t quite so bad is Schwartz’s. And after Ilya gets over the fact that Shane used to come here alone late sometimes (smoked meat sandwiches are NOT team dietician approved), he boggles over Shane having a casual chat with the guy making their sandwiches. It’s 11:30 at night. There’s a photo of Shane and this guy on the wall, and Shane’s grinning widely with two thumbs up because he is a dork. “Hey Ilya, c’mere I want you to meet someone.”

They get bagels after. They just - drive to the bagel place that is open 24h, get a dozen, take yet another photo, and pick at them on the way back to Pike’s. They’re so fresh they’re still steaming.

Ilya looks at Shane from across the console. He’s been doing this the whole time? Even with the added pressure of their whole thing before it was a thing? Christ. “It was always like this?”

Shane shrugs. “I mean, not always. This was pretty bad, but it was like this every year we made the playoffs. It was similar on years we didn’t do as well, just a little less, you know? I could at least go places without being stopped all the time. I’d still be filmed, but I think people were less proud to be seen with me? So less pictures with fans. But during the playoffs? Yeah, always like this. Why? It had to be similar for you in Boston.”

“Ah, no, Hollander. This is fucking crazy.”

“Yeah,” Shane shrugs. “Metros fans are passionate. The worst were the game day look paps. I always failed miserably at those.”

Ilya takes a breath.

He just, kind of assumed that Ilya had figured it out. He came out as gay and got laughed at! And it's way more reasonable that he could be bisexual than fully human. And if Ilya didn't know then why was he constantly doing little Mr Man teasing comments for the past few years?

Just like, Selkie!Shane who knows he smells like salt all the time, and eats so much fish, who has made comments about how skating is the closest you can feel to swimming in the open ocean on land, who showed Ilya his pelt?? They had a romantic night where they made out on top of Shane's pelt and Ilya assured him that he liked that Shane chose him???

Meanwhile Ilya feels fucking insane. How was he supposed to guess that Hollander was fucking magic? He thought Shane was within the normal human spectrum of weird! He didn't know magic existed! He's never even heard of seal people, why would he question a fur coat?? What next, the babayka he was afraid of as a child is going to be a neighbour?