Small Batch Blogging

I love the word "beeline." youre in such a hurry youre doing bug movement

if you have to rely on specific scripts or turns of phrase to socialise that's totally fine, but you must NOT reveal them to your friends while slightly drunk. it's like showing how the magic trick works, you can't do it in front of them afterwards

i like dogs a lot but i can never remember the differences between breeds (apart from the few types i've actually owned/interacted with). but i know people looove their dogs and love talking about their dogs, so whenever im talking to a dog owner i'll ask what breed it is, and no matter what breed they say i'll say "oh! i've heard they have a really nice nature :D" and they always go YESSS THEY'RE GREAT and start gushing about their dog and we have a nice conversation and i build social credit with this person. anyway i told my friends about this script a few weeks ago when slightly drunk and now every time we're in public together and a dog goes past they turn to me and ask "does that one have a nice nature?" im in a hell of my own making

ADHD treatment and the gatekeeping thereof is actually evidence against "capitalism rules everything around me", and a reminder that there are plenty of decisions being made based on personal biases, moral panics, self-interested groups, etc. People with ADHD are way more effective and useful to capitalism-in-the-abstract when they can just get their medication no questions asked, and yet.

while they share a similar base flavor, dick tastes more umami while pussy tastes more acidic, though recent menstruation conveys an overwhelming metallic flavor that some diners object to (though i am not one of them). recommended wine pairings are

(today i learnt that if you don’t know how a post should end, just post it unfinished anyway and someone else will come up with an ending)

if the emperors of rome can add extra months that actually fuck the calendar up i'm allowed to add a new month that lasts 0.0000 picoseconds

the last holiday that hasn't been commercialized

i made this up when i was a little kid and nothing would make me happier than to see people celebrating it for years to come

i forgot how much tumblr loves a fake holiday

the number one lesson that toddler parenting is teaching me is the power of adjusting your attitude so you can get silly. if I am in a bad mood or at the end of my rope patience-wise my toddler senses this IMMEDIATELY and actively turns every single interaction into a protracted power struggle. but if i can take a second to gather myself and marshal juuust enough strength to do a goofy little bit or even just make a silly face he is sooo so delighted and can usually be easily persuaded to do whatever he was resisting two seconds earlier. tonight he was testing meeeeeeeeee oh my god WHY must everything be a battle and then I invented a game called BOOM where I swing him around and drop him on the nearest cushioned surface and this game was such a wild hit that we did our entire bedtime routine in five min just by trading bedtime tasks for one (1) boom. and then he was in such a silly happy mood it put me in a better mood and now I don’t feel as exhausted. idk it does take some effort to rally when you’re not feeling inclined to be silly but then it consistently saves soooo much time/energy in the rest of your interactions I think it’s worth it. plus it’s crazy how much goofing off with somebody for a few minutes resets your nervous system.

"why was the ending so rushed it was so good up until the ending" the answer is the same every time no matter the media you're talking about: the author is a bee and had to go back to the hive to defend the queen

Yes… YES! fucking hell I LOVE this! Give them all to me!!

It's not really the fact that they mention Massachusetts, it's the specific phrasing. In Massachusetts, in the US, even two girls can get married...

that's just not a level of longing generally associated with the state of Massachusetts.