agt-mothman

i be like “it is what it is” and almost vomit from anxiety

has anyone seen my pet bacteriophage its name is styrofoam and its about [hand touching the floor] this tall

you cut me in line at the grocery store and next time you see me im wearing the collar your dead childhood dog used to wear

One time i got sucked up by a ufo im not joking

what happebned

On god they were being super mean to me like they were flicking my head and shit the grey aliens were flicking my head and punching my nose and giving me noogies and shoving me and shit....

you should get a second evening for reading fan fiction. And you should get an extra day in the week to do arts and crafts.

would u still love me if i were stuck in a cycle i've never been able to break

I really don't care if Miley Cyrus smoked a bong. She's 18? She can live her own life...

*kneeling really really low to the ground and pointing at very small marks in a patch of mud* see look right here... mosquito prints. we're on the right track

Saki sanobashi is the funniest lost media hoax ever because the concept of some super obscure horror anime from 40 years ago being watched once and then never being found again isn't all that unbelievable but the story completely shoots itself in the foot by being a 4chan post that starts with the op watching it on the fucking dark web and crying himself to sleep over it lmaooo

btw it's so fucking stupid you can be anxious physically in your body even after you've decided mentally you don't care. I'm supposed to be in charge here

HOW TO DODGE TALENT SHOW DRAFT

I DONT WANT TO SAVE THE TOWN

*sighs dreamily* what a fucking weirdo

*twirling hair* what a fucking freak

so i put my hands up theyre playing my song the evil skull flies away

Why don’t we let the guy whose every plan could be reasonably construed as an abstract suicide attempt take a crack at it