I'm not really a people person

@the-roanoke-society

eating pastries is so humiliating cause you'll be having the time of your life having it and then when you're finished you look down and you're covered in flakes and sugardust like fuuuck now everyone is going to know i'm a messy pastry whore

Look if he's getting Wi-fi or Reception out there in the ass-end of nowhere, that's a straight-up miracle. I'm sold.

@the-roanoke-society

This is a magic item of some kind

hey boss i can't come in today it's a sunny day and there's a lovely breeze coming in through my window, yeah it's rustling the branches of the tree outside that's finally bloomed so it's pretty serious

Yes I am, those fuckers were literally bird-brained.

Lol I think about this daily ...some shit could hit any second.