#agent chimera

seraphim is excellent with demonology, but she is absolutely susceptible to the charms of the fae folk—and creatures like them.

she’d been freshly granted the title of ‘senior’ the first time she went camping with xander and jd. it’d been lilith’s idea. between centralia and enoch, seraphim’s promotion hadn’t been entirely positive—more stressful than anything.

“you two are our best outdoorsmen,” lilith said quietly to jd, one quiet fall afternoon. “i think some time out in the wild will do her some good. xander said you were thinking of going out to one of the lakes this weekend? i know this is probably like asking you to take your little sister with you, but—“

but jd grinned. ever good-natured, ever understanding. “don’t worry about it. we ah, heard about what happened the last time she went camping. probably a good idea that she has someone out with her.” spoiler alert: it was Not Good. but that’s another story.

to their credit, everything actually went well for the first chunk of the trip! seraphim’s a little shy when she meets new people, but xander was the one that eventually had her singing along with him, “i’m so fancy, you already know—!” by the time they’d gotten to their reserved site by the edge of cloud lake, it felt like she’d known them for ages, the chill of pennsylvania forgotten for the moment.

the place where they set up camp (“what do i do with this?” “… morgan when’s the last time you put up a tent?” “… uh.” “here, let me have that—“) was a small clearing that jd had found on a hike, near where the mouth of the beargrass river met the lake. if they followed the river farther into the surrounding woods, they’d eventually find a small waterfall, flowing over the lip of a jagged, rocky outcrop.

jd’d—always thought it was a bit strange. the rest of the forest that he’d seen was either flat, or gently rolling. this was the only part of the land that had such an abrupt rise, and fall.

but landscapes were just landscapes and he knew that nature wasn’t exactly one to give a fuck.

jd had only a vague knowledge of centralia, knew that it aged people. but as he watched his boyfriend and seraphim walk along the river underneath the light of a bright afternoon sun—it was like watching the years fall off of her.

and xander, well—

“did you just check out my ass?”

“…”

“honestly, can’t blame you, let’s be honest here, it is pretty fantastic.”

the love of his life, a new friend, and perfect weather.

this was perfect.

“ohhhh my gosh look at the waterfall!” seraphim squealed as they rounded a bend in the trail, grinning broadly. “does it have a name, jd?”

“not one that i’ve ever heard spoken out loud.”

“cryptic answer, all right, i dig it. oh, have you ever been around to the back of it?”

jd frowned, looking towards the falls. had—had there always been a path of stones along the water’s edge, leading towards the cliff? did he just not notice before?

“uh—no. no i haven’t.”

“cool, i’mma go back there.”

“uh, morgan, wait a second—“ but jd was interrupted by xander’s lips on his, his eyes closing to the taste of his mouth. he didn’t see seraphim stepping carefully over each stone, finally disappearing behind the falling white of the water. his entire world filled with xander’s arms around his waist and the smell of his cologne.

“you can let her explore for one second,” xander murmured. jd could hear the smile curving over his words. “i’m a little surprised that she’d be up to heading right back into the unknown, y’know, considering.”

“she’s a senior agent now, xander.”

“i know that, but still.”

jd kissed him one more time before finally glancing over his shoulder. “… hmm.”

“what?”

“i just—i don’t remember there ever being a path like that to the waterfall.” jd shook his head, “i’ve been up here plenty, you’d think i’d remember coming across something like that. and i mean, i’ve brought you up here, too, do you remember seeing that the last time we were here?”

but xander’s eyes were wider than they were a second ago, his face a bit paler. “… like they just appeared when we brought morgan?”

it dawned on jd slowly. “… hey so let’s go back there.”

“yep, yes, please.”

xander led the way over the stones, his eyes cast downward as he went. they looked normal enough. sort of. how many times had he seen rocks cut like commercial garden stones just out and pressed into the dirt like this? they looked worn, old.

like they’d been here the whole time.

and it did get dark as they walked into the back of the falls, the cliff opening up into a kind of corridor into the side of the hill—but it didn’t stay that way. the rush of the water covered the sounds of their footsteps, but as soon as it dimmed, xander spoke.

“—honey?” he blinked, staring down into what looked like the soft glow of neon. “do you smell that?”

“yeah.” jd crinkled his nose, and their pace quickened, because it definitely didn’t smell like moss, or damp, or petrichor, it smelled like—

a bar.

they’d walked into a bar.

the rock of the cavern gave way to something that gleamed like polished marble. the long countertop itself was all black and chrome, lit by several neon signs bolted into the back wall; they all looked like brands of liquor, but none that either of them had ever heard of, or seen before at any of the bars in the city. there was no sound except for the faint sound of the falls, and it felt alien in a distinctly uncomfortable way.

the change was—jarring.

which meant that they didn’t immediately see seraphim sitting on a stool, facing away from them—or the bartender.

“… oh! well you didn’t tell me you brought friends, sweetheart!”

his hair was the same color as the lake water, piled up in tall, thick curls on top of his head. his skin was too pallid, his eyes were too big, too wide, and he was standing wiping a towel inside of glass over and over and over again. his teeth ended in delicate points, as did his ears.

“oh i think the fuck not,” xander muttered. but then seraphim turned around—“ohhhhh boy.”

her pupils were so wide that he couldn’t see any brown anymore. “oh hi guys!” her words weren’t slurred, not exactly, but she definitely didn’t sound sober. “this is my new friend, uh—i’m sorry what did you say your name was again?” she rested her chin on one hand, leaning forward over the counter, and looking desperately in love with the bartender. she had a tall, narrow glass at her elbow filled almost to the top with something frothy and smoky grey.

jd had already begun walking towards her.

“it’s just el, darling, just el. now,” and he had the audacity to pout, reaching out to push the glass further towards her hand, “you promised you’d try my new recipe. please, please, just take a tiny sip—“

“no, no, no, no, no, no,” that finally broke xander out of his mixture of awe and with every step he took, another “no” echoed through the bar. jd had his hands on seraphim’s shoulders and was trying to tug her away, but it wasn’t until on the sixteenth (seventeenth?) “no” when xander took the glass and sent it sliding all the way down  to the opposite end of the counter. (“heeeyyyy that was mine!” seraphim whined, but jd yanked her back as she reached for it.)

el didn’t even have the space to argue, because xander knew exactly what he was doing. “fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you dick, you absolute dick, no, no, fuck you—“

there were a few rules he’d learned in his time with roanoke. one was that with anything you thought was even a little bit fae, you never even gave them the chance to argue with you. you did not shut up. you were as obnoxious as possible. secondly, you absolutely never drank or ate anything they offered you.

and the third he remembered as he saw jd walking backwards towards the entrance, the exorcist stumbling along with him.

never turn your back on them.

not in situations like this.

el watched them leave, pissed off and very, very insistent on telling him off (although his eyes, jd noticed, lingered on seraphim’s face—or at least, he thought they were, it was hard to tell where exactly he was looking due to the lack of pupils). xander didn’t stop talking until he felt the water of the falls hitting the back of his head. “—fuck you, fuck youuuoohhh my god, okay, that was weird, that was super fucking weird, we have to tell lilith this guy is out here, and… oh.” jd had seraphim gently lowered to the ground at the base of a tree, her head lolling forward. “is she—“

“morgan. morgan. hey.” jd lifted up her face with his hands and the relief he felt when he saw her eyes flutter back open—irises back to their normal size—was acute. “oh, thank god—“

she blinked, looking around. “i—what happened? did i pass out or something? what’s wrong with you two? you look like someone walked over your grace.”

xander’s gaze kept flitting between xander’s back and the waterfall, but nobody—and nothing—came out. seraphim followed his eyes. “oh what a pretty waterfall! oh, hey, there’s a path, have you e—“

“NO.”

“So when did you first notice something was strange?” The agent asked as he tapped his pen mindlessly against his notepad. He had hoped his last assignment before retiring would have been to finally train his replacement, but Lilith hadn’t chosen anyone on the grounds of all the potential recruits not being ‘suitable’. He would have questioned her judgement, but he didn’t get to be the longest serving ‘Hood’ in roster by doing foolish things like that.

“It started when he was about three months old.” The girl before him said, hesitant and anxious, but completely at ease with the fact that her puppy was a sort of grim reaper. He could barely get out his handle and purpose after she answered the door before her eyes hardened. Still, she was compliant and made him an excellent cup of tea (how she knew he preferred two lemon slices was beyond him).

“One day I came home from class and he just wasn’t there. And there was no way he could have gotten out, and there were no signs of a break in or anything. He came home a few hours later, right as I was about to head out to put up some ‘missing’ posters. And after a few more occurrences like that, I just... kind of accepted that he could.... I don’t know how to put it.”

“‘Come and go’?”

“Yeah, that.”

“Tell me about this most recent incident.”

“You mean Thursday? Well, it’s how I knew something was up. Hampton went ‘out’,” Agent Hood barely stifled a smile at the young woman’s use of exaggerated air quotations; he needed to treat this mission seriously even if it was his last one. “Only when he came back, he was whining and barking and wouldn’t calm down until I followed him.”

“And that’s when you found the body correct?”

“Well when you say ‘the body’ it makes it sound like the guy was dead, and he wasn’t. Close to it, but yeah- it was a homeless guy I had seen around the neighborhood for awhile. The EMTs said he had collapsed because of a lung infection but thankfully I found him when I did or else he could have died.”

“And you should be proud of what you did, especially considering that isn’t normal behavior for what your dog is.”

“...and what is he?”

“A psychopomp, a guide of dead spirits to their afterlife. More specifically, he’s a Bargheist, and Xander is going to have a hell of a time figuring out his behavior.”

“Why? Do I have to bring him in or something? Like an obedience class for Bargheists?” This was the part of the job he always hated. It was a real shame too, she seemed a nice enough girl who was taking this information surprisingly well. Apparently she was clever too, because she responded before he had a chance to phrase what was about to happen as delicately as possible.

“...please don’t take my dog. She pleaded, face wrenched tight in an effort to keep from crying.

“Please, he’s... he’s all I have right now.”

“Now now,” Agent Hood started the usual spiel of offering comfort, only to have her draw her shoulder away in an automatic act of defiance. ‘Quick reflexes’ he thought, adding to the catalogue of details about her. “Please don’t make this any harder than it has to be. He’ll be well taken care of by people who know how.”

“But what about me? I... I know you probably don’t care but- he’s literally the only companionship I have in my life, and I don’t know what I’d do without him.”

“You could get a roommate.”

“I’ve tried but, no body wants to live here since it’s so far from campus.”

“Join a school club.”

“I.... Ive tried that but it hard to stay in one when you’ve got classes and a full-time job.”

“Surely you’ve got some friends to reach out to.”

“I had one but he kind of went off the grid and it’s... difficult for me to make new ones. People generally find me unpleasant and forgettable as I’m sure you noticed.” Damn she was really selling her case. This kid could probably give Kieran a run for his money at having a way with words. Still... what he was considering wasn’t exactly protocol (and he didn’t feel like doing this the ‘hard’ way), so he had to make one more effort.

“I know you have family somewhere, maybe your brother-“

“You do not speak of him!” The sudden flare of command and aggression took him off guard, but she continued before he had a chance to respond. “Every time you ‘Roanoke’ people come around it’s always so obvious that all you really want is to get your hands on Carter! In fact- I bet there’s nothing about Hampton that needs your so-called ‘special care’. There is nothing you have to offer that I couldn’t do.”

And then it all clicked into place. Of course no other candidates were suited for his handle, because she hadn’t been recruited yet. Of course this would happen on his last mission before retirement; there was no better way to leave. And of course he wouldn’t get the time to train her- she didn’t need it. the look in her eye told him that she could take whatever it was they had to throw at her. He had just found his replacement.

“You make a compelling argument Miss Jensen, now will you please excuse me while I make a quick call. And then we can discuss further plans.” She swallowed thickly, face still tight and red from her outburst and being upset, but she nodded politely and made to go sit on the couch next to her pet, who seemed to exist in a world of bliss when she came over. This was the right course of action, he was sure of it- because who knows what kind of catastrophe would happen if he separated them.