The Conlanger

Oh, so when YOU grab a Danish for a quick snack, it's a guilt-free, tasty little treat. But when I, Grendel,

when i was little and i went to church people would talk about “fearing god.” they would use ‘’fear’ to describe like a way of respecting him while understanding his power and i never knew what that  meant until i met a fucking horse 

This… went in a completely different direction than I thought.

Horses will do that too - go in a completely different direction than what you thought. It’s one of the reasons they’re feared.

languages that don't distinguish between formal and informal you are missing out on so much petty drama. my grandparents have two neighbours who once got into a huge fight over something honestly pretty trivial, so neighbour A said he was going to revoke neighbour B's du (informal you) privileges. neighbour B was like "okay but can i use du one last time?" and neighbour A was like "yeah go ahead", and neighbour B said "du arschloch" (you asshole). incredible.

I’m the weirdest kind of extremely online because I would be severely offline if it wasn’t for tumblr. you genuinely can’t reach me anywhere else other than tumblr I simply don’t use other social media. I don’t even like texting or calling people. I only like hanging out with people irl and being on tumblr and reading the weather forecast

do you think the Horse ever gets jealous of the Dog's status as "Man's best friend". do you think the Horse is ever like. hey. you domesticated me too. you rode me into battle. i ate food out of your hand and you giggled. are we not besties i thought we were besties

if ur gonna be pressed into service by your liege lord, u want to be the swiftest rider. get good at horses, because they're always sending the swiftest rider off to do some other shit that is, crucially, away from the battlefield. I'm telling u. when ur forces are outnumbered and the enemy legions show up with some unexpected advantage, someone in command is gonna say, "send the swiftest rider to alert the queen!!!" that's u. u want to be that guy

this is a terrible time to be alive *remembers the latter half of the 14th century* this is a not so good time to be alive

hey op how do you remember the latter half of the 14th century

not fondly. I do not recall it fondly.

northern hemisphere babes we made it to the longest night of the year. we made it. for the next 6 months, every day will give us a little more daylight than the last. let's go. take my hand. climb out of the darkness with me

southern hemisphere babes, they're stealing our fucking daylight!

if your weird enough with the homies you can break all boundaries of platonic/romantic love and make a third, more evil thing

a podcast...

[standing outside of brian jacques’ grave with a megaphone] most societies that have had large scale ships and shipping have needed to develop a concept of insurance. is there Mouse Insurance

lady of the lake dot com slash careers

minos was such a pussy. if my wife gave birth to an epic minotaur baby i wouldn't have locked him in a labyrinth. i would have taken him to the mcdonalds play place (athens) every day and let him eat as many stray mcnuggets (athenians) off the floor as he wanted. i love you hungry son

(pulling a painted vase out of my wallet) and this is my youngest at his first nose ring fitting. isn't he handsome

hey. what do a selkie and a ziploc bag have in common

resealable

please be patient with me im from the 1900s