a drunken wizzard

I love when someone is explaining instructions to a group I’m in and they look at me and it reminds them to say something about using preferred names/pronouns or that there’s vegan food options available. I go by my given name/pronouns and I’m not vegan but I’m proud that I can provide this service

It might seem weird and strange, or even vexing and annoying, but there is a tale and cause for the whole and totality of it.

curse and damn it, this is way too fun and amusing. It should be done with care and attention before it stains and ruins my whole speech and language

My best post.

It’s a tony soprano summer

What this means

I love it when media fucks up the wording of the Rasputin disclaimer and ends up with shit like "any resemblance to people or locations living or dead is coincidental". I'd love to know what committing libel against a dead location would entail.

Fuck the Fiesta Mall in Mesa, AZ. I heard it ate someone once.

this sea sucks shit. it doesnt even have any scrolls im sure

Reblogging in honor of the first day of baseball season.

the idea that every summer will be as hot if not hotter than this for the rest of my life is unbearable i need to (remembers suicide jokes are bad for my mental health) murder an oil executive

Look I don't think Supergirl (2026) is secretly a perfect masterpiece or anything (I personally thought it was like. a 6/10 fun time) but I do think it's wild that Tumblr isn't going crazy for it because this Kara is one coattailed suit away from being a Tumblr sexyman. she is the flawed messy female character people have supposedly been clamouring for. she's the popular archetype of a gruff self-destructive alcoholic middle-aged man begrudgingly having to look after a kid and growing fond of them but genderswapped and also 23. she's allowed to be visibly messy and kind of gross and her hair is constantly all over the place and she literally cries, screams, throws up, and pisses onscreen. she's caustic and mean and puts up an act of carelessness but has a heart of gold. she's heavily traumatised and coping with it terribly. if anything happens to her dog she will kill everyone in this room and then herself. she spends most of the movie in a trench coat and baggy band T-shirt. she gets into bar brawls and breaks a guy's hand. she is Going Through It 24/7 and looks the part. she stabs a guy in the throat. how is everyone else not obsessed with her.

DnD 5e is actually so good though you can change anything you want. My friends and I have a fun homebrew rule where we don't actually use maps or dice or minis or pen and paper at all, we go out on the sidewalk and use chalk to draw squares with numbers in them and we take turns hopping through them one foot at a time

Pro gamer tip: combining the boobsock shirt with those porn comic pants that give you an inexplicable perfectly spherical dick bulge grants one of the strongest set bonuses in the early to mid game, but it's not competitive in the postgame unless you're prepared to do a lot of grinding.

I love how Zohran Mamdani is wearing a suit everywhere. And if he has anything else he puts it ON TOP of the suit. A basketball jersey. A high-vis vest. All worn over the suit. He’s like the mayor character in a cartoon who’s always dressed as The Mayor. If I didn’t know who he was and he biked past me in NYC I’d be like holy shit was that the mayor