A real man... oughta be a little stupid.

basketball dracula isn't real dude he can't-- *sudden squeaking noises from the shadows*

*two pool toys having sex tumble by in the wind* oh thank god

*thunderous slam dunk noise*

why do men have this eternal fear of being used for money they don’t have lol

(to the tone of creep by radiohead) but i'm asleep. on mypillow

I like the nodding emoji 🙂‍↕️ for how at peace it is. when I use it I feel like a wise sage who has reached an enlightened truth of the universe. mmmm 🙂‍↕️ monkey

*takes a bite of my cigarette*...... heh. the character...... *walks into a small puddle but it swallows me up like the ocean* *i am found dead years later in maine*

yeah i drive the truck that isekais all those lonely 20yo NEETs and bored salarymen. it’s a really hard job. they keep sending me to workplace counselling after each hit. “it’s normal to feel guilt at ending someone’s life,” they say. how do i tell them that’s not what makes me feel guilty? “but it’s okay. he’ll live a better life in another world.” yeah, with 100 girls who could have lived normal lives but got drafted into being in these boring dudes’ harems. how many women’s lives have i ruined. and they don’t even know. they don’t even know

140 CHAPTERS?

*gets back to the nest* baby you are NEVER gonna believe how i got this fish