Does this count as finding a walrus at your door?
Absolutely, and definitely less surprising than a fairy
I will concede, in this specific circumstance, it makes more sense
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@adeametea
Does this count as finding a walrus at your door?
Absolutely, and definitely less surprising than a fairy
I will concede, in this specific circumstance, it makes more sense

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petition to change LGBT to DFTQ (Dykes Faggots Trannies and Queers, naturally)
AMENDED
happy pride everyone
One of the best things about being a writer is thinking of something small you can add to your work thatās just. Devastating. Like youāre sitting there going. Oh. That would be diabolical. People would get really riled up about that. Exquisite. Letās do it.
When I was a teen in the 2010s boys would call each other Gay to say they were too effeminate but now itās 2026 and weāre āBetter Than Thatā so I just overheard a kid on the bus tell his buddy āyou gotta get on T man cause you are NOT passingā ššššš
If I was paid Iād do a study on this
HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL (2006), dir. by Kenny Ortega

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"girl dinner" "boy kibble" can y'all just eat a meal gender neutrally
gender neutrients
i like sending pukicho horrible messages as often as i can. its healing
Please stop ?
Non cooking spray stick
Non spray stick cooking
Non cooking stick spray
yeah okay ill reblog that
sorry but this video is like a parasitic species to me
WONDERFUL news bestie
This is just cute
I love when people have fun š
This is one of those stories you talk about twenty years later

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So, unlike Eridians, we discovered fire very early on and so our civilization kinda grew up with combustion right? We've had thousands of years to normalize it and get comfortable with the idea of using it casually for warmth or cooking etc.
In contrast, Eridians had to discover fire in a lab since their atmosphere doesnt have O2 like ours. So they dont have, like, an entire culture normalizing fire.
> Be me. Rocky the Eridian cosmonaut
> Tell Grace about Eridian space elevator design made out of Xenonite. Grace very impressed, says humans only dream about making space elevator.
> Odd? Ask Human friend Grace how humans got into space. Expecting some high tech solution since science humans clearly know more physics.
> Grace explains Humans strapped other Humans on top of Fire-Explodatron-9000 machines made out of weak human metal, basically Eridian cardboard, then shot them into orbit. Grace say the fire it makes is quite pretty to look at
I feel like the reaction would be similar to this.
Can you imagine being rocky tossing over that capsule during first contact. Like oh yeah, theyll probably use their robotic arm to catch it. And then you see like. This horribly clumsy alien come out of the ship, flailing about, wiggling across the hull trying to catch the capsule. Like oh. Oh so thats the kind of species i am dealing with
OKAY CAN SOMEBODY EXPLAIN TO ME HOW THE FUCK YOU SHIP A PACKAGE OF COOKIES TO A FRIEND WHO LIVES IN NEW JERSEY, ONLY TO HAVE IT NOT GET THERE ON TIME BECAUSE IT SOMEHOW ENDED UP IN GUAM?
I JUST
GUAM?
IM CRYING REAL TEARS MAH DUDES THE COOKIES ARE IN GUAM
KATIE TRIED TO SEND US COOKIES OUTTA THE GOODNESS OF HER HEART AND JUST
āOHHHH THESE COOKIES WERE SUPPOSED TO GO TO NEW JERSEY, PHIL? I THOUGHT YOU SAID
12/27, 8:37PM CT
ITS STILL IN FUCKING GUAM
12/28, 12:18PM CT
THE COOKIES ARE IN HONOLULU GUYS THEY ***FINALLY LEFT GUAM***
12/28, 10:22PM CT
THE COOKIES ARE FINALLY ON THEIR WAY TO NEW JERSEY
GO COOKIES GO
@phantomrose96 @cupcakecreeperā @homebeccer GET READY
lol i was looking through my history to find the tracking number page and
12/30, 12:39AM CT
@phantomrose96 @homebeccer @cupcakecreeper
holy fuCK HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK GUYS GUYS GUYS GUYS GUYS
THE COOKIES ARE ALMOST THERE
The saga of Katieās Guam cookies is my Anime of the Season
THEYāVE ARRIIIIIIIIIIVVEEDDDDD THEYāRE ON THE FRONT DOORSTEP
COOKIES ACQUIRED
THE THRILLING CONCLUSION
also as a bonus visual hereās a rough approximation of these cookiesā journey
how the FUCK did this blow up and get so many notes
SO FOR SHITS AND GIGGLES, @homebeccer @phantomrose96Ā @cupcakecreeper AND I WANTED TO KNOW HOW MUCH IT WOULD ACTUALLY COST THE U.S. GOVERNMENT TO INTENTIONALLY SEND THESE COOKIES FROM TEXAS TO GUAM TO NEW JERSEY AND???????????????
ANDĀ
ITāS
ITāS
ITāS NOT AN OPTIONĀ ITāS NOT AN OPTION I CANāT I-
I COULDNāT EVEN HAVE SENT THESE COOKIES TO GUAM EVEN IF IāD HAVE TRIEDĀ
Cant believe we uncovered the Guam Cookie glitch folks
Its not even an in-game feature
Oh my god itās back
H O W
Iāve had this sort of thing happen.
At least it explained why the package took so long to get here.
I appreciate that they have an Entire Stamp forĀ āMissent to Nepalā
No one saidĀ āhey letās stop missending things to Nepalā they just saidĀ āletās make a stamp for thisā and called it a day.
Iām gonna get Missent to Guam tattooed on my arm in commemoration.Ā
@hellsite-hall-of-fame
Get Moist von Lipwig in charge of the US postal service ASAP
Ok I know this is super old now but I work at a post office and I was curious about the price so I did some digging and I still donāt have a definite answer because THE REASON it says āno shipping services availableā is because all shipping services were actually suspended to Guam at the time. As in no packages, parcels, letters, or mail or any kind could be sent to Guam. So not only is it mind boggling that it got sent so far in the wrong direction of its intended destination, but because nothing should have been able to get in to Guam period.
You QUITE LITERALLY could not have sent these cookies to Guam if you tried.
Heated Rivalry is a closed door hockey romance in the sense that they fade to black on the hockey. The sex is explicit, but the hockey is implied.
Imagine a bee rn in a hive muttering "the beekeeper is not real because he is not intervening or helping me at all with this disastrous relationship I have with another bee". now imagine that's you talking about the good lord. now imagine a dog with a propeller hat on
Filing this in my memory right next to this thread:
is anyone imagining a dog with a propeller hat on

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Predictions for Dungeons & Dragons under Hasbro's management in the coming years:
Uma Musume style horsegirls introduced to the Forgotten Realms; setting's lore revised so that they've always been there.
Advancement rules now stipulate per-session XP bonus based on lifetime D&D Beyond purchase history.
Compendium of exclusive feat trees for specific gender and sexual identities. Bisexuality receives no feats of its own, being mechanically implemented as "half gay"; the resulting synergies are disgusting.
Editorial error in revised Dungeon Master's Guide accidentally refers to Dungeon Masters as Hasbro's employees.
"Noble savage" coding of barbarian class walked back, refocused on European folkloric touchstones such as the Ulster Cycle; all barbarian characters become Irish stereotypes.
AI-based DM service trained exclusively on work of Ed Greenwood launched; withdrawn a week later citing "guiderail issues".
Expanded discussion of navigating player expectations frames "not showing up at all" as a valid playstyle.
Dragon-blooded sorcerer subclass revised to state that one of the character's ancestors was "very good friends" with a dragon.
Didn't that last one actually get implemented into canon?
Hasbro has indeed spent the last several years pushing back against dragonfucking jokes so hard that they've gone as far as to revise some of the setting lore to imply that dragons don't even fuck each other, but they haven't yet had the guts to pull the trigger on taking the option of literal dragon ancestry off the table for sorcerers.
(The 5.5E writeup for dragon-blooded sorcerers does list "making a bargain" with a dragon above the actual-ancestry option, though, which is funny as hell. Yeah, I'll bet it was a mutually beneficial exchange!)
1st base: raw ethically dubious fucking
2nd base: exist in a public space together
3rd base: you witness me have a real, candid emotion
4th base: I reveal an aspect of my tragic backstory to you
image credits: @moonlightsonatah