The Worst Blog Ever. Of All Time.

I’m sorry I didn’t mean to refer to your unvaccinated dog as an “empty vessel for rabies.” I’m sure it’s also something else. Like an empty vessel for distemper.

is a man not entitled to the sweat dripping down his own balls?

do you think two pennies is still enough for the ferryman or has inflation driven up the fare

if he makes me use an app I am simply not crossing the river Styx.

what doesnt kill you is still valuable data points for a graph im working on titled "how to kill you"

Scooby-Doo is a dog who can talk, which is amazing, and he largely uses his powers of speech to communicate how scared he is of ghosts and monsters, and basically the only thing his owners do is drive him around the country putting him inside various haunted houses and such. I wish I could take Scooby-Doo aside, I want to say to him, these people are not your friends.

Professor! Yes, sorry, I have a question: how do i explain plato’s allegory fo the cave to some emu?

if cis people are so great then why don’t they have a siberian orchestra 

its dark outside. i'd better press 'f' to activate my 'flashlight'