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paramoregf

this tweet is literally never not on my mind

catkola

Bitches wanna buy their boyfriends the latest consoles but when was the last time he CONSOLED you? ps 5 years ago

orchidvioletindigo

It should 100% be illegal for companies to make you give them your payment information when you sign up for a free trial version of their product. It is not necessary and there is no good fucking reason for them to do it. It’s blatantly just so they can steal forgetful customers’ money.

saint-batrick

oh hey, thanks for reminding me to cancel a free trial i had going on.

tattooedzombigirl

Reblog to save an unnecessary charge cause it also reminded me to cancel a trial lol

pissvortex

You don’t see anyone talking about being at the combination pizza hut and taco bell anymore

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playthings2007

You have 4 minced messages

cryptotheism

Me, two glasses of wine in: "yeah so here's an in depth conversation about my identity as a nonbinary person, and my struggles with transphobia in 2023"

Median Center-Right American Dude at the party, also two drinks in: "Damn that's crazy, I never thought of it like that. Man, I'm sorry you gotta deal with this shit."

Me: "Ahh it's alright. I deal."

Random Guy: "People should just chill tf out."

Me: "Damn right"

cryptotheism

Random Guy: "So if you're non binary, and, sorry if this is offensive but I don't know the right words here. Like, is it cross dressing for you if you wear a skirt?"

Me: "Its- hm. Huh. I have no idea."

cryptotheism

Guy: "It must have been nice to go to school with other trans people. Like, you must've felt safe."

Me: "No actually it was the opposite. It just made me even more upset and confused. I didn't know what being non-binary was. I saw people that transitioned from one gender to the other and knew I wasn't that. It took me a long time to figure this shit out."

Guy: "man that sounds rough. No wonder you guys are upset all this time this sounds painful."

Me: "Well, it sucks until it suddenly doesn't. It sucks and then it rules hard."

Guy: "so It's like working out."

Me: [both of us are now nodding wisely] "it's like working out."

cryptotheism

Guy who has only ever played undertale seeing a skeleton for the first time: "holy shit"

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

"taken" style action movie where a man searches for his wife. as he fights baddies in gunfights and hand-to-hand combat, it's slowly revealed that:

his wife hasn't been kidnapped

their marriage is not healthy or functional

this guy isn't rescuing his wife, he's hunting her down

his wife is a crime boss, those are her henchpeople he's fighting in a john-wick bloodbath

the tension builds until, drenched in blood, our protagonist steps forward for the final showdown. he pulls a manila envelope from his bullet-torn jacket and throws it at his wife's feet. he's just spent an entire trilogy biting & killing & maiming....all so he can deliver his shit wife her divorce papers

penumbriel

call it Taken… To Court

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

#Taken 2: Court

back-on-my-bullsh-again

And, for a comedic bit, I want one of the wounded/dying henchmen to just say they're a notary or something and he could have had it done in 5 minutes. And she would have known that had she bothered to get to know the people she employs.

dogpuppy

eschocat

Pee changing color depending on ur hydration is very intuitive game desigm

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00000000000000z-deactivated2022

happy Mother’s Day to these two queens

razerbackbitch

pukicho

I am hard to eat with a knife and fork, I am usually served with a side of fries, I am a hamburger. What am I?

theforcekeepers

are you a hamburger

pukicho

Yeah man

batsandboba

“scientists don’t want you know” is a phrase that always cracks me up because if you actually meet a scientist they will be shaking and crying like an overstimulated chihuahua with the need to let you know

maykitz

teaboot

The Armstrong Family Legacy

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Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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animentality

tragicwaif

When they torture u to insanity and then torture you for being insane 😂😂😂

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