it's just your voice learning for once to stand up tall

(can't) keep a good man down

-an @aftg-mixtape Vol 6 album drop -

Healing + survival is the name of the game.

Track 1: The Kindest Thing

6.5k, fic, Kevin/Jean/Renee by @bubbleguchi

Track 2: Daylilies

5.5k, fic, Jeremy/Jean by @citrusmewtwist

Track 3: the first time

art, Jeremy/Jean by @cranberryjuless

Track 4: it's over/you're alive

5k, fic, Neil/Andrew/Jean by @donotwishonme

Track 5: to fill the empty spaces

26k, fic, Jean/Lucas by @urban-sith

Track 6: Can you belive it? (We're really here)

5k, fic, Kevin/Neil/Jean by @rotthecarnelian

Track 7: breathe, just breathe

16.5k, fic, Kevin/Neil/Jean by @n1rnroot

Track 8: i can hold my breath forever (all of these scars)

6k, fic, Kevin + Jean by @emmytriesfanfic

Track 9: you're not coming back (can't you come back?)

7k, fic, Jeremy + Noah by @ezroyler

Track 10: If I Go I'm Goin'

6k, fic, Jeremy/Jean by @kindof-amess

Track 11: Running, Holding, Trying

20.5k, fic, Jean/Neil by @merceyca

Track 12: I would not change it each time

art, Kevin/Jean by @nyaar0n

Track 13: the only thing that's right in all i've done

fic, 8k, Neil + Mary by @poetic-ivy

Track 14: Weightless

fic, 6k, Jeremy/Jean by @problemduetest4life

Track 15: not fair how much i love you

fic, 8k, Jeremy/Jean by @rederiss

Track 16: the half part sees what the other half's got

it would be so awesome

If you go without it you feel unwell in a way that you never usually feel unwell. Sweating, tired, sleepy, headaches, irritable, depressed, etc. For example when I was in opium withdrawal I got incredibly depressed in a way that I’ve never been before or since. When you quit caffeine you might get super bad headaches even if you never usually get any headaches.

Thoughts of it regularly bother you and the thoughts go away once you’ve taken it but only temporarily. Unlike with a food craving which usually stays away once you’ve satisfied it or distracted yourself from it.

You find yourself rationalizing with yourself why you should break your own rules about how much you can take and how often. For example you might only let yourself drink alcohol every four days but start thinking that three days is actually close enough to four days, right? Especially if this happens regularly.

You’re using it so often that you feel the need to lie about how much you use because other people might think it’s concerning

If the substance or activity is nearby it’s genuinely difficult to not consume it or participate in it in a way that’s really frustrating.

You feel bad when you’re not on it and your brain tells you “if you just take the thing you wouldn’t feel this way”

You can only feel “whole” or “normal” when you’re on a substance even though it’s a recreational drug