it's just your voice learning for once to stand up tall

I explained the concept of "blorbo from my shows" to my 71 year old immigrant grandfather because I referenced it in passing and I thought nothing of it, until today when he said "I think I'll watch peaky blinders tonight and see my blorbo from my shows" referring, of course, to Cillian Murphy playing Tommy Shelby

English isn't his first language so he's not super in touch with modern slang, so I've been accidentally teaching him to talk like a tumblr user. His favorite thing to say lately is "me when I'm a little hater" when he's like talking shit about the neighbor's son

Aromanticism

You guys are always like "being crushed by 10,000 tons of rock probably feels good as hell" or "being torn to pieces by hunting dogs would low key fix me" and I feel like those things would actually be unpleasant.

How about "Drinking an ice cold strawberry milkshake probably feels good as hell". Do you guys like that one.

i’m so thirsty… won’t you use /water to water me?

/water

JRPG where the teenage firebrand protagonist is taken under wing by a wise older mentor figure in their twenties, as one does, except the third party member to join is in their thirties and regards both the protagonist and the initial mentor as dumb kids; the fourth is in their forties and thinks the same of the first three; and so forth.

im playing the joja route in stardew valley and ive also stumbled into romancing shane and the vibe of that is. very funny to me. imagine falling in love with the charming local farm boy who helped you out of your alcoholism and then you find out he's only in town cause he's the biggest stan of the megacorp you work for. its. its an energy for sure.

im a simple man in my ideal world working full time should pay enough that you can quit and take several months off to do non work things if you wanna. save up and write a novel or go travelling with no consequence. and doing this doesn't fuck up your resume because it would be normal and healthy.

*smirking* you couldn't waterboard that out of me, but even if torture was an effective method of information extraction and not a futile display of state-sanctioned sadism, the high percentage of false confessions it produces would mean that even if you could waterboard it out of me, could you even trust the veracity of my statement?

Bro what the fuck did they do to Neil Josten

[Image ID: a reply from @/krozakerie2 reading: "The others are sent with a message. The moose is sent with a mission". End ID]