it's just your voice learning for once to stand up tall

I asked my five year old cousin what he would do if there was a scary skeleton and he said "I would pour water on it and then kick it" and I've been losing my shit laughing crying about a wet skeleton for about fifteen minutes straight

i fucking hated your shoelaces this entire time

The trope where people don't recognize each other because it's been so long since they last interacted and they've both changed so much that they're basically strangers UNTIL one of them does their Signature Thing™ and the other just stops dead because oh. It's YOU. All at once it's so clearly you

so last year during a period of intense suicidal depression i made this necklace that i always wear, right, and the thing is it's genuinely brought me a lot of comfort and relief and i've developed a strong sentimental attachment to it, to the point that i can inarguably state that it's had a net positive effect on my mental wellbeing. however i did now just have to stop to almost throw up laughing because i realised that i've succumbed to the amulet.

there is nothing lemon squeezy about any of this

not to tell people what to do but as someone who’s been in fandom since i was like twelve, i promise that the only good fandom experience involves limiting your friend circle to, like, seven people. when you’re in a city, you don’t make friends with every douchebag on the street. stringently vet the people who are allowed to influence you. in an age of people and companies constantly demanding your attention and energy, your happiness will grow best like flowers in a greenhouse in a terrible city; a contained, curated space allows happiness to flourish. keep it small and don’t be sorry to tell people to stay the fuck out of your greenhouse.

[Image ID: Tumblr tag from humanTeaPot reading: no good fandoms only good friends /End ID]

guys they're obviously opening a chinese restaurant that becomes a gay club after closing time

the "came back wrong" trope except like... they didnt. like this mad scientists wife died, and so he studied necromancy, brought her back, and she came back and it all worked. like she came back exactly the same as she was before with literally no difference. but the scientist guy is like "oh no... what have i done.... shes Different now!!!! she came back Wrong!!!!" and shes just like. chilling. reading a book. cooking dinner. shes just so so normal but in the guys mind hes like "oh shes soooo weird" but shes just normal

NO its a JOKE and YOU DONT GET IT. ITS NOT THAT DEEP

While she was dead he put his memory of her on such a high pedestal that she could never live up to it alive

alternatively‚ she came back perfectly fine but he thinks she came back wrong‚ because the tragic reality is that he never actually knew his wife

im going INSANE thats MY POST.

It's your post but the journey to posting it changed it to such a degree that even its closest intimacies are now foreign to you. Sorry dude.

I saw someone spell it "whimsicle" today. Like popsicle

international cut your hair like your icon day how screwed are you 

mny ocssssss. myuu occssss aughghghg myu ocsssssss wailing like a ghoul oever my ocsss