it's just your voice learning for once to stand up tall

a customer returned a drink because a fly flew into it and said: “one of your flies flew into my drink” and my coworker was so confused that they just said: “…my fly?”

#MyFly

this is problematic of me (joke) but i really enjoy the splashing of french into english speech or writing. just adds a pizzazz

*adds a certain je ne sais quoi

see the problem is that despite around 8 years of french schooling the french language has utterly escaped my brain so even the most obvious set up i had created for myself by accident was missed by me. such is life.

*c'est la vie

god damn it

*sacrebleu

since i am a trans woman who plays sports i will never find your joke about trans women in sports funny. sorry.

been said before but. allies also often throw in a “well actually when transwomen are included in sports with regular women they come nowhere near being the best so it’s fine to let them compete together.” bc like, well, i would like to think i could one day become the best. am i only allowed to play in sports because I’m not actually trying? it shows that there is actually a threshold in ability that, when reached, will cause certain groups of people who seem to support trans women in sports to reevaluate and find out they have been bioessentialists the whole time

Every time I compete I am scared I will win. Nobody should ever have to be in that situation. I got second at a competition and I saw the look on the face of the woman who got third, and I left that competition as quickly as I could because I didn't know if she would try to do something about it.

are you freaking serious did they actually put steve in minecraft

in my delirious half-awake state i appear to have typed the wrong game

i went to https://www.tumblr.com & i saw you there

"hogwash" still one of the best words ever. this shit is so unbelievable its pig water

if you've ever pet more than a few dogs you'd Know what dog residue is

My phone sometimes does this "1 year ago" thing where it plays a reel of old photos to jazzy music, but I don't take all that many photos, so in practice my phone just sometimes offers me jazzy music over a series of context-free nearly identical photos of the neighbour's cat.

Occasionally I am reminded that I went somewhere a year ago when the music plays over context-free nearly identical photos of a different cat.

Help I'm choking on my toast

You know, I don't know how "Seth wakes up from a coma and realises he loves dick" became a trope in this fandom, but I'm not complaining

Taking a time out helped him become less of a repressed homosexual apparently lmao