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If someone ever was sucking my strap I would be able to feel it due to my delusional and hypochondriac nature

Do you remember the episode of Spongebob where he's training gary for the snail race and does a coach persona + calls gary a girl and has an aside where he's like "I called you a lady to demean you 🤓" and right after he says that it cuts to sandy and she somehow telepathically feels that Spongebob just did something misogynistic and us like I feel like I need to kick Spongebobs ass for some reason. And then she appears just at the end of the episode to kick his ass.

I keep hearing nearby footsteps but theyre not of humanoid gait so i pay them no mind cus all beasts are friendly towards me due to rapport ive built with various animal clans

dude wait. what if we got really close together so we feel safe

“Who yells?” Is unquestionably the best broad city line i think about it every time someone raises their voice even slightly

3-5 turkey vultures will soon be dispatched to your location.

bites bites bites bjtes wait no im sorry come back i wont do it again bites bites bites bites

uppies-seeking behavior

Sorry I started sobbing uncontrollably when you expressed the slightest concern for my lack of human connection, and casually mentioned you think I deserve better than a life of isolation and loneliness. Super weird. Not sure what was up with that lol. You still think I’m cool and mysterious and sexy, right?