704 fattys unite @kuruk - Tumblr Blog

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ugh… the pain and the darkness and the evil… fuck the world i love endless dismal moan

💖 kuruk Follow

i look like this ^~^

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sizhui

into the art tag you go

#San lang haopt beithday #so cute here I drafted immediately after my rb because so cutes

sizhui

gege bridal carrying me is fine i dont care actually i- WEEEEEE WEEEEEE WEEEEE CAN YOU SPIN ME cough cough cough

#hapoy birthday sannlang

kuruk

This is how it feels to post on stimulants

omg my run on sentences

#igot anon hate for talking like this once

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i feel the same way i feel weird playing with mods that drastically change the gameplay cause idk it feels like im completely disregarding the original intention and it feels wrong idk....appearance mods are okay though to me thats just coloring the picture a different color. but adding all sorts of wacky things well i might as well play a different game

it took me several years to find appearance mods on Skyrim acceptable and I literally care about character customization so much so I can't believe it took me so long to be okay with it lol I don't know why it made me feel so uncomfortable like I wasn't really playing the game and like it didn't count anymore and I couldn't have mods and still want to play the game anymore. I hate when things are not as intended and changing things... I'm indecisive so I think that's maybe somewhat part of it, too many options I just want normal and usual... But Skyrim is one that people act like is unplayable without mods

#appearance if fine now I don't want to go back to being ugly but I used to get mad at my sister #I'm like this is ridiculous they look so stupid #and they did it looks silly but the wood elf is just kind of ugly sorry ik tes elves are unique looking but they don't have to be ugly right #just rough skin abnormal looking sorry I know. but it had mean white woman face sorry #so my elf looks more normal now still looking elflike but she wasn't scaring me anymore #the nord women look ridiculous though omg #I tried to find one for men too but they got even uglier oh they just sicken me so I left them as is

am I the only one who doesn't play skyrim with mods because I feel uncomfortable when I know something is changed and not the normal experience that everyone has as default and I want it to be the way it's supposed to be. the sims4 is different because it's so boring otherwise + mc command center is way too important so adding other mods seems more natural. But I once had adoption mods for multiple adoptions and a khajiit child but I soon deleted them because I felt like they weren't real enough. which is silly because it's all game I know...

#last time I played recently I allowed my sister's appearance mods to remain and my wood elf was much less ugly #so I'm fine with that now as I don't wish to be ugly

it's not bald discrimination there's something wrong with me socially but I probably would have looked normal this time at least if my dad hadn't told them I have "communication issues" and that he was proud I even spoke to her help. why would you tell her that he loves telling people everything mentally wrong with me in detail wherever we go

#I've had people assume I need more help but not in a mean way they didn't treat me like I can't understand what's happening around me #I think it's his fault for telling them I have ''communication issues'' and selective mutism as if they even know what that is #I literally talked I'm much better than I used to be because I care wayless since I know things now

Once upon a time I went to Walmart to get a vaccine, which I had scheduled and submitted information for in advance. The pharmtech at the desk asked me for a "pharmacy card" and said they wouldn't give me the vaccine unless I had a "pharmacy card".

I to this day do not know what the Walmart pharmacy card is, because when I asked the tech, he told me that if I needed help, I could go ask my daddy.

Dear reader, I was 25.

What is it about being butch that makes people act like you are helpless and teenaged?

I'm not butch though sorry I just added that information about being bald to paint a vivid picture because I was bald but lacking lesbian qualities. my mom joked that they were going to think I'm mentally ill for being a bald girl and drug test me. But luckily they just thought I'm neither a lesbian nor bipolar (I worried either of those things could make them more likely to drug test me and I was on drugs so yeah..) I'm probably bald because I'm too clueless to care about my appearance and I mustn't be concerned with sex maybe I've never even heard of it actually

when my dad took me to the hospital recently he told the front desk that I had trouble communicating and selective mutism even though I had already told her my symptoms and was normal. when the doctor came in he asked why I was alone because he thought I was a child. I'm also bald at this time but not giving butch due to my blouse.

Then he asked me if I could be pregnant and I said no and then he asked Why? I've never been asked that when I said no to this.. So I didn't know how to respond and then he forced an awkward silence smiling at me asking why. And I couldn't say until he offered me options to answer with after playing mind games with "because you aren't having sex right now or because you never have sex?" ??? and then he's like. When a doctor asks you this question, this is how you answer: I'm not sexually active. Okay?Remember that.😊 I know there's some stupid people in this world but other doctors have always accepted a head shake and said "Not sexually active then, okay." He didn't even ask if I do drugs or alcohol. like it's so hard.

Then when I went out, the front desk made me sit behind the glass with them instead of waiting room because my dad wasn't back yet to discuss payment but I'm right there and quite old too. Then she talked about me like I wasn't there and told her coworker Wow I can't believe the dad just left her here..... And I'm like wtf dad hurry up they're making fun of me

#I thought maybe I'm overthinking it but my mom laughed at me so hard when itold her #so it's clearly not normal. they think I can't do things 😑#in this case my presumed helplessness was just embarrassing notfun wt all I deserve it for going in with my dad don't I #yeah whatever keep billing me but you know I'm probably not allowed to handle money or know how to read so

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I kind of like being psych hospitalized because I always make friends easily and everyone's so nice to me sorry. I don't know why because other shy freaks are left alone. ik people are just a lot nicer there vs real life bc everyone's killing themselves but I get singled out or something.. I can still feel it's in a pitying sort of way but I'm okay with that. Maybe I should be offended it's possible I should be. when this one woman was discharged she told this girl to take care of me when she's gone and that girl was younger than me... I think I must appear extraordinarily helpless howembarrassing. but it's hard to care about being looked down on when I benefit from it Thank you for talking to me and helping me everyone love and help me for some reason yay *does not realize*

#it's okay that they assume I need more help than I do because then I get help :-)#I think drawing opens chance to talk maybe it helps me to be approachable bc there's something to talk about #but well I'm just glad I can get away with so little effort I actually like talking to people it would be so sad otherwise...

I thought it's weird how outspoken my mom is when she's quiet and reserved but when I was in residential treatment I kept raising my hand during group to disagree with the therapists help. a really nice older schizophrenic man told me how he really liked that I did that because it was unexpected of me. he thought we were all actors and he'd been successfully predicting everything anyone would do until I did that and didn't fit my role.. I hope he's okay he was so nice and always brought me juice T_T

when a fight started between some loud as fuck girls I flinched and he was part of the group of my friends who patted my back before I even covered my ears. Which I didn't need that was so embarrassing they even hugged me help I felt so ridiculous but they were really nice I feel bad for changing phone numbers and ignoring them all My bad I hope they don't think I killed myself. but he was so nice always bringing people things and this one girl took advantage of him making him buy her vending machine snacks and he's literally homeless..... I really hope he's okay T___T

#arguing with therapists in front of everyone was so embarrassing im sick why did I do that I couldn't stop doing it

my mom's addicted to starting shit at work it's definitely been over 10 incidents help. she's always in the right I know it doesn't sound like it but it's not personal drama she just speaks up about everything. before nurse it was going to hr and getting people in trouble and as a nurse she keeps starting fights by refusing to break the hospital's policy and ethics by taking on workload she isn't authorized to do alone as an lvn and keeping a patient in restraints without a doctor's order which has to keep being signed and approved periodically. her coworkers for some reason don't really care if they're actually allowed to use restraints and they get so mad at my mom for not following along and reporting them for it... are they like stupid they want to get sued so bad.

#she's always known the details of the rules and laws and such #when I was little my cousin had her pants pulled down by a boy at school in front of everyone at lunch and the school did nothing #so she got involved and I didn't know what was going on I just heard a lot about title ix for a while #now my cousins a social worker ^_#so basically she knows things. and now my cousin knows things because my mom fighting for her rights left an impression

bald fat pig bald normal pig. skinny pig does not even comment on the state of the hair.? and that is also just not always the case. it carries no less fat than an average pig

when the pig is skinny. but you see that really isn't the case though is it

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3000s

so what we eat food so what we drink water

>mfw I'm smiling

#I'm actually not though.

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