Hello! @a-simple-kazoo - Tumblr Blog

seldomletfromthishellishassault

"i love being outside at night, it's so peaceful"

me, outside at night, the moment our headphones die

unyieldingsilence

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seldomletfromthishellishassault

did anyone hear that

seldomletfromthishellishassault

i think there's something out here

unyieldingsilence

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seldomletfromthishellishassault

i'm scared. is anyone there?

unyieldingsilence

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seldomletfromthishellishassault

help

evilfuckignskeleton

seldomletfromthishellishassault

WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT

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dimk13

fih...

#not my art #bioshock 2 #my pookie Augustus Sinclair esquire #subject delta #augustus sinclair

temporary-gentleman

Not Incurious, or She Wears the Hangman's Rope

#not my art #pathologic #mark karminsky #eva yan

wifegideonnav

gonna be honest i don’t know how many more ‘enter the 6 digit code we sent to your phone’s i got left in me

chemicahs

Can we please bring back buttons PLEASE can we bring back buttons BUTTONS PLEASE for the love of god BUTTONS THAT YOU PRESS DOWN AND CAN FEEL IT BEING PRESSED buttons please buttons can we bring them back can we PLEASE can we please bring back the buttons

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killjo-q

Lust

killjo-q

Flats version without all the lighting and stuff

#not my art #fullmetal alchemist #lust

ayesopod

gortash comm for @thevaelguard !

#not my art #baldur's gate 3 #enver gortash #ough. hello sir

correctopinionhaver

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jewish-joy

Last year, I befriended a Catholic seminarian. We've gotten to be pretty decent friends. Seeing as he was staying in town for the summer and I wasn't, I entrusted him with caring for my plant.

He did a wonderful job, but as he was returning my plant to my custody, he explained "I watered her every other day, I gave her new dirt, moved her into the sunshine, prayed the rosary-"

"What?"

He looked at me, confused. "Isn't she a plant you pray with?"

"No," I said slowly. "She's a prayer plant. That's the... colloquial name of the plant."

Upon seeing his stricken face, I realized something went wrong. Turns out, this entire time, he's been including my plant in on his prayers and leaving her near icons.

Listen, totally cool. My plant becoming Catholic is a great deal for her not dying over the summer. But now I must navigate this interfaith household. Keep me in your thoughts.

sealsdaily

Today's Seal Is: Fifteen Cents

intactics

so-called "free thinkers" when Gasolina comes on

blue0909

Please stop being nonbinary too. God only created one gender. You must conform to that.

THERES ONLY ONE NOW?????

miketon

slytherverse

friend is trying to sell her car bc shes moving to a state with vehicle inspections and her prius lives in defiance of god. anyway so shes cleaning it out at my apartment complex bc we have dumpsters and her roommate forgot to pay the trash bill. i will be liveblogging my experience watching her do this and you will understand why i refuse to help her

slytherverse

-threw out the floor mats entirely bc theres magic the gathering cards molded into them

-found an axe formely belonging to a friend who is now in jail

-four trash bags worth of clothes and an untold amount of fast food trash

slytherverse

guys theres a pile of chicken bones down there from wingstop im so scared

AND i hear "hey dude can i use ur washing machine real quick" and she pulls out a pair of pants from, i shit you not, 1940 and theyre moldified into a SOLID. those pants survived a war and couldnt last a year in her fucking shitbox istfg

slytherverse

shes cleaning out the Broken Glass Area of the backseat (normal thing to have. been there FOUR FUCKING YEARS)

fuckin blindly sticks her hand under the seat and pulls out a fully intact URANIUM GLASS PLATE. "for you :D" ... GIRL

slytherverse

"oh no i disturbed the nursery section of The Colony!!! D: D: " awesomesauce. i hope an asteroid comes and kills us both

slytherverse

i swear to god im not exaggerating here. anyway heres an incomplete list of everything we found inside:

-axe (stolen)

-earrings made out of dentures

-flavored condoms

-a quilt

-hello kitty sweater (stolen from a DIFFERENT ex-friend with a felony charge)

-deer spine

-baseball sized wad of human hair

-""sex apron""

-uranium glass plate

-pile of non-uranium non-car glass

-rollerblades

-complete phantom of the opera cd set

-magic the gathering cards mold-ified into a brick

-lego millennium falcon

-a CUTLASS??? (for "self defense")

-the back bumper of the car

-an entire fucking ant colony

and finally, perhaps the most disturbing,

-a pack of vanilla wax melts, inexplicably unmelted and intact despite sitting inside this terrarium-with-a-prius-wrapped-around-it in 100 degree heat for god knows how long

slytherverse

i must stress: before today she DID NOT KNOW about the ant colony in there . she thought ants just really liked to climb inside anytime the car was parked.

slytherverse

guys i cant take it anymore

slytherverse

bringing this post back bc i found a video of her offering me the phantom cd set and i said no because the box was coated in a syrupy mat of human hair and she was confused because "we know whos hair it is" ???? as if the origin of the hair was the only fucking holdup

unfortunatelyshortpeasent

@entities-of-posts

entities-of-posts

The Corruption

fadecrow

Reblogging this again actually because I just checked the notes and this only confirms the diagnosis

entities-of-posts

Valuable supplemental research.

ovenroastedtwerkey

"boys have dirty rooms but clean cars, girls have clean rooms but dirty cars" is a statistical error. Most car owners keep it neat regardless of gender. Ants Georgette, who drives around in a Prius-shaped ant colony (their little ant feet do the Fred Flintstone thing), is an outlier adn should not have been counted.

transarsonist

When she needs to parallel park she just asks the ants to get out and shift it over

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leona-florianova

rewatched my fav Odyssey adaptation.

#not my art #o brother where art thou #I LOVE this movie. was just talking about it with a friend actually

ninebaalart

Baby Jinjos

There were so many of them in the sewer they were causing active problems for the water supply. Yeah. Someone had to take care of it. We don't know who keeps putting them in the sewer?

#not my art #banjo kazooie #oh my goodness look at them

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