you put those tags on this post where they belong
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@a-midnightdreary
you put those tags on this post where they belong

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Art by Leah Gardner
the idea of a clutch purse is nightmarish to me. the whole point of bags was so we could escape the torment of holding things. and now u gotta hold a bag.

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The unexpected reason why the drive-through line is so long
his dark materials will literally always work bc every small child wants an animal companion that loves you most and goes on adventures with you and every adult wants an animal companion that can shoulder some of lifeâs immense psychologically damage for you. and you can pet it
And to tear down the feeble corpse of God! Every kid and adult wants that also!
Creepy paypuh
predator
another sketchy one where i wanted to try something eerie
The continuation of tailor Astarion â¨ď¸
oh my god beautiful

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dear lord, please take all life problems and responsibilities away from fanfic writers but also make them financially stable and happy with nothing to worry about so they can happily focus on writing and posting fanfiction. amen
daily affirmations: at least I'm no longer 14
happy pride month to whatever the hell mr. sherlock holmes and his live-in doctor have going on
A German Standoff is when you are standing opposite of each other at a red traffic light and there are no cars in sight but nobody wants to be the first to commit an Ordnungswidrigkeit
I bring a certain Europeanness to saying "ma'am/sir this is a Wendy's" where I don't really know what a Wendy's is.
"Sir, this is a Wendy" <- me, when the Rentner at the Kiosk asks why the Feuilleton is full of horses today

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Thinking of the larger context of LOTR and like, the fellowship swapping old war stories and shit and Sam just says âYeah I killed a huge spiderâŚShelob, I think?â
And Gandalf just blinks and is like, âYou what now?â
âYeah, killed it. Had to save Frodoâ
Gandalf elects not to tell Sam that he killed the spawn of a primordial demon.
the daughter of the embodiment of darkness which ate the original sun and moon and almost ate the devil.
That's not important. What is important is that it was a danger to Mister Frodo.
Time for me to info dump about Sam and Shelob.
In lord of the rings lore, there are three tiers of deities. The highest tier and most dangerous includes Morgoth - Sauronâs master, and Ungoliant, Shelobâs master. The middle tier includes Shelob, Sauron. Then thereâs the lowest tier, which includes the wizards Gandalf and Saruman as well as the Balrog (this is why Gandalf couldnât 1v1 the Balrog). It also explains why Gandalf doesnât take the ring, the magic of a tier 2 deity would absolutely corrupt him. We even see that happen with Saruman and the Palantir.
This leads to the start of the answer to some interesting questions. Why does Sauron tolerate Shelob being in his territory, and why does Sauron tolerate there being a secret back door into Mordor?
On the surface, he does it because he might not be able to beat Shelob in a fight, after all theyâre the same tier of deity. And since Shelobâs domain is the secret way into Mordor, he canât close it off, and he seriously doubts anyone can use it to get in. He doesnât monitor the path with guards either - Shelob would eat them.
It gets more detailed than that though. Sauronâs boss, Morgoth, and Shelobâs boss, Ungoliant, made a deal. Theyâd attack the tree of life together. Morgoth would drink the nectar, and Ungoliant would keep all of the jewels and magic they earned along the way. Morgoth broke this deal because there was a particularly powerful gem he wanted (the gem in Sauronâs helmet), and as a result Ungoliant went to war with Morgoth.
Ungoliant won, Morgoth barely escaped with his life.
So not only does Sauron maybe lose if he attacks Shelob. Even if he were to win, it might provoke Ungoliant into attacking Morgoth again, and Ungoliant wins that fight, sheâs already done it once.
With all of that established, how the hell does Sam hurt a deity that powerful?
Well, to start, itâs impossible. Shelobâs hide is so tough Sam could never pierce it with all his might. However, Shelob had grown old and arrogant. During the fight, Sam winds up directly underneath Shelob, and Shelob decides to crush Sam with all her strength.
Unfortunately, Sam is pointing sting straight up.
While Sam lacks the strength to hurt Shelob, Shelob herself is plenty strong. She accidentally impales herself on sting, finding herself injured for the first time in thousands of years. Which is the sort of poetry I really appreciate about Tolkienâs writing.
No matter how powerful or evil or ancient or indestructible your foe, if you stand for what is right and hold your sword out, they will impale themselves upon it.
Samâs backstory in this scene is much simpler. He has to save Frodo.
I love it when tolkien fans reblog posts with the deep lore receipts. Thank you
take me to snurch (snail church)
happy 10 years to snurch
oh do not do this to me