it's Tuesday all day today and there's no known way to prevent this

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@a-delicate-disaster
it's Tuesday all day today and there's no known way to prevent this

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Oh, Father. Now I want to see it even more!
Random thing for people to consider is that since Laika is the saint of one way trips should Felicette be known as the saint of safe landings since she did make it back to the ground safely
tu LANCES félicette ? tu lances son corps comme la fusée ? oh ! oh ! prison pour les scientifiques ! prison pour les scientifiques pendant Un Mille Ans !
You can understand the French perfectly fine with only context but the English translation I got still had me floored
STOP FUCKING SMOOTHENING THE PAPAS. THEY ARE ALL OVER 50. DID YOU FORGET THAT? WHAT 50 YEAR OLD HAVE YOU SEEN WITHOUT WRINKLES WITHOUT A FACE LIFT AND BOTOX??? I GET COPIA HAD PLASTIC SURGERY BUT HE STILL! LOOKS! DISTINCTLY! OLD!!! THE ONLY ACCEPTABLE NON WRINKLED PAPA IS PERPETUA AND THAT IS REEEAAAALLY TEETERING THE LINE, BUDDY. TOBIAS ISN'T 54 LIKE HIM. DO BETTER!!!!! DO BETTER ON BEHALF OF THE OLD MEN!!!!!!!!!! SEND POST.
PLEASE ISTG THEY'RE PERFECT THE WAY THEY ARE I WOULD NEVER CHANGE THEM IN ANY WAY EVEN IF I COULD DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT
THEIR WRINKLES ARE ACTUALLY REALLY HOT IDK WHAT YALL ARE ON
New pc setup folks what do you think of it
Its good

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The christian family in these memes (which are absolutely all over facebook these days) genuinely do always look miserable. Who the fuck is relating to these stock mormon farm cultists. That is a couple who made love only once in pitch darkness with bags on their heads then celebrated the pregnancy with a feast of uncooked potatoes and warm tapwater. The baby seems intrigued though. Maybe only by the bottle of pills??
Could not leave this in the tags <3
"Do you ever dream of land?" The whale asks the tuna.
"No." Says the tuna, "Do you?"
"I have never seen it." Says the whale, "but deep in my body, I remember it."
"Why do you care," says the tuna, "if you will never see it."
"There are bones in my body built to walk through the forests and the mountains." Says the whale.
"They will disappear." Says the tuna, "one day, your body will forget the forests and the mountains."
"Maybe I don't want to forget," Says the whale, "The forests were once my home."
"I have seen the forests." Whispers the salmon, almost to itself.
"Tell me what you have seen," says the whale.
"The forests spawned me." Says the salmon. "They sent me to the ocean to grow. When I am fat with the bounty of the ocean, I will bring it home."
"Why would the forests seek the bounty of the oceans?" Asks the whale. "They have bounty of their own."
"You forget," says the salmon, "That the oceans were once their home."
Last year I finally had an excuse to illustrate this simple little Tumblr story I've had bookmarked forever for class.
I hope you like it :]
reblog if your name isn't Amanda.
2,121,566 people are not Amanda and counting!
We’ll find you Amanda.
this has almost 11 million notes what is this
I’ve never seen this post once in 10 years on this site
@hellsite-hall-of-fame
I’ve never even heard of this before tho??? Wtf??????????
oh my god, I didn’t think there were any surviving versions of this post left
For those who weren’t around in the Deep Lore times, this is one of the relics of the editable post era. This post has THE SINGLE HIGHEST NOTES of ANY post on this site, bar none, but with more than a dozen variations. Every single post you’ve ever seen with more than 3 million notes has been a different version of this one.
This is the “Dean’s Gym Shorts” post. This is the Flubber post. This is the original “Reblog if you support gay people” post. it was ALL of them. before half the site got nuked, it had even more notes than it has now - at one point, well over 15 million, and that was years ago.
This, with no exaggeration, is the ONE TRUE heritage post
World Heritage Post
shit I missed my window, next week I guess
Reblog on Tuesday to let your followers know it’s safe to leave the bog
TIL “Yankee Doodle” was written by the British to mock americans. “Doodle” is thought to come from the German “dödel”, meaning “fool” or “simpleton” and “macaroni,” a flamboyantly stylish type of dress, painting the Yankees as morons who thought placing a feather in one’s cap made them a “dandy.”
via reddit.com
so you’re telling me that “stuck a feather in his hat and called it macaroni” would be like saying “wrote a G on his belt and called it gucci”
that’s…a pretty good analogy actually
US moron came to town
Hunting for some coochie
Wrote a G up on his belt
And this bitch called it Gucci
Seeing my notifications get flooded with this every July 4th is the only thing I respect about America

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You if bugs didn't exist
shawty's like a malady in my head
If Cardi had tiktok
The thing about Harry Potter is it just makes me fucking tired?
I don't especially give a shit if somebody is reading the books or watching the movies in private, but if you're being loudly, stridently, openly fannish about it you've got to be aware at this stage of things how that's perceived? At the bare minimum, being perceived as transphobic wasn't a deal breaker.
A doll forum I frequent is discussing whether or not to ban pictures of Harry Potter merch, and wow do I recognize a lot of the people going "Um, nobody cares about politics actually, sweetie" "Why does everything have to be political?" as having said some virulently transphobic shit elsewhere.
Someone asked me ":( So you want to DIVIDE people?"
Yes. You can't UwU Let's All Get Along about whether or not a given group of people should have human rights.
You can't shake the devil's hand and say you're only kidding.
You can't shake the devil's hand and say you're only kidding.

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got a crick in my neck and a frog in my throat and a chip on my shoulder and a stick up my ass and now you're gonna stand there puttin words in my mouth? haven't I been through enough?
I should get some kind of award for all of the terrible movies I've sat through over the years for the sake of seeing an actor/actress I liked.