I would like to preface anything and everything that I say with the fact that I am a minor. If that makes you uncomfortable, get out. If you make me uncomfortable, I will block you. I am unfortunately human and do have thoughts which affect my work, I will tag as such and will (in the post) detail that I am a minor in order to clear up any confusion. I am human before I am a child and sometimes I want to know what it's like to get high. Sue me.
Okay now that that's out of the way, hi, I'm Ted or Teddy! I'm a 16 year old trans man (I'm making this blog on my birthday lol) and I'm using this as a place for my writing. If any pretty ladies (gender neutral) that are WITHIN MY AGE RANGE (15-17) wanna hit me up, hello 😛. I'm from the USA (yeah I know it's kinda shit over here rn. Love the country, hate the government).
Things I'm into/regularly draw inspiration from/both:
Rusty Lake Studios
Five Nights at Freddy's
Cuphead
Kpop, specifically ILLIT (wonhee my GOAT !!)
Boxing/fighting
Paintings
Octopath Traveler
Architecture
Video games in general
Fashion
Deltarune/Undertale
Saverino (yes the youtuber. knowers know)
other people's art
Things I ¡¡ HATE !! Stay away from me if you are into this BULLSHIT !!
AI art
ICE
Racism
Homophobia
Transphobia
Sexism
Any kind of bigotry
Israel
Nazis
Both of these lists are ongoing and will be added to as things go on.
Tag categorization!!
#fantasy story
This one ^ is going to be a general tag for my specific story. When I get a title, I'm going to go back in and change that, but for now this is the tag. It is a story born out of spite, because I got very angry one day about JKR being evil and decided that I could do better.
#evan | #henry | #camille | #coppeliana
These are my character tags! You'll get to know them soon enough.
#fanfic | #titleinprogress
these are my general and specific fanfic tags. I have an ongoing one which I will provide the link for here.
#things i have to say | #tweaking
The first one is just me talking, the second is anything that generally you wouldn't want to see a kid saying.
Off the top of my head, that's everything. I'm very shy so if you have anything to say to me, PLEASE put it in my asks. I will ¡¡NOT!! respond to dms.
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I just need Jason Grace to go through the ace-spec demisexual experience of being horny for a person for the first time, shit hits you like a train. It's just that “Go For It, Nakamura!” meme but he's thinking too hard about Leo’s arms and neck and the curve of the inside of his thigh
I'm not saying it hits everyone that hard, like its never hit me that hard, but at least to Jason it feels that way. He's just keeping Leo company as he's working, shooting the shit as Leo hammers something into place and a drop of sweat goes down his throat. And he's striped down to his undershirt, the white tank top with the low neckline so the sweat runs all the way down over his clavicle and Jason is hit with the desire to lick it off so hard that he thinks he got hit on the head again
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pjo/hoo fans, listen to me. *shakes you* listen to me. read the kane chronicles. read it. have you read it? read it again. i mean it. there's other reasons, but the main one is that i'm out here making genious posts about tkc, and there's so few people to appreciate my massive brain.
reasons you might want to read tkc:
narrated by two different characters. the framing device is that it's being audio recorded, and you can often see snippets of them being like "don't look at me like that sadie" or "carter just kicked me for saying that"
the god tier character that is sadie kane. she's so in touch with her emotions and unafraid to express them, it's refreshing. she's only 13 in the beginning of the trilogy, and she's so ready to tell people off for being pricks. she chews bubblegum and dyes her hair and she's even british. makes fun of her brother. consistently the funniest character in the series, all while not losing impact as a dramatic figure
the gods are seen really differently than in rr's other books. in pjo, the gods are these all-powerful beings and we mustn't anger them. in tkc, they're your buds. your parents have probably had a fistfight in an applebees parking lot with at least two gods. you see a god for drinks every thursday.
gods literally inhabit the human character's bodies, it's like a venom situation. it makes up for some very funny moments.
where pjo/toa is about acknowledging your family has problems and at times, you're fully right to distance yourself from them, because they're horrible people, tkc is about reconnecting with your family again. it's about finding stability in your family, and how they're, in the end, always the ones that are left there for you
incredibly interesting magic system. they have infrastructure built all over the world. not just two wands (rather a wand and a staff) but also a whole magician's kit.
cast is near-entirely made up of people of colour. two main characters that are both mixed, and the series focuses on how their different appearances affect how people treat them. the magicians are mostly descendants of egyptian rulers
being able to understand the crossover between the kane chronicles and pjo
the weirdest fucking dynamics ever
true worldbuilding as opposed to the greek line focusing on the USA and Europe exclusively
zia "fuck it we ball" rashid. fought a god and won. never once played around with the people she cares about. has a bob.
the focus on certain cycles remaining unbroken paralleling the need for cycles to be broken for improvement in pjo (think osiris vs. the end of tlo), the ouroboros is hungry
amos "i can fix him" kane. you'll know what i mean.
i always find it so fascinating how henry's character was the first to corrode. while henry was arguably not good, he was still the better man of the two partners. it would have been very easy for an accident with spring bonnie to happen instead, and have that be a parallel as to how william killed his own son. but instead, they chose fredbear—henry.
and there's a man in the suit, you can see the eyes out of the mouth. henry's fredbear's eyes are wonky, but the person puppeteering it sees clearly. it's hard to say who's pulling the mouth open. could be the puppeteer, could be henry unknowingly fredbear, could be both. it's hard to say.
either way, this art is great and thought-provoking!! great piece, snotfish!
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- pranks are common on board the ship, and though Eva is rarely targeted (for the fear she strikes in everyone's hearts) that does not stop the walking mischief that is Olesya Ilyukhina
- specifically, she once convinced Grace to distract her for a while but did not tell him what for
- that night when she washed her hair, she walked out the shower a pale dusty pink in lieu of her strawberry blonde
- the first person to see her that morning was, of course, Grace, who could do nothing but stammer at the new look
- however, what Grace did not know was that Ilyukhina also managed to sneak dye in his own conditioner, only she squeezed more of the pigment in his bottle, and for nearly two weeks longer than Stratt sported a brighter rose pink
- (she was much more poker faced than him, and Grace didn't realize his hair was any different until Yáo approached asking about the new look)
- they waited months after the dye faded to get her back; after a particularly long pr tour around Russia, Ilyukhina returned on the ship jetlagged and promptly passed out in the break room, giving Grace and the rest of the flight crew (who Eva paid off to do her dirty work) enough time to bleach and dye the ends a much darker shade of pink (jokes on them, Ilyukhina is never opposed to a free dye job and she proudly sported it around)
- at one point, Ilyukhina made a joke about getting matching tattoos, but the idea never faded, and each meeting she ends up bringing up the topic
- Grace was initially opposed (he may be fine with vaccines or drawing blood, but the thought of a bunch of tiny needles injecting ink in his skin freaked him), while Stratt just shook her head
- Yáo was shockingly not opposed, who actually had a few of his own (and was forced to give a tour of them), Shapiro always wanted to get a tattoo, and if she was on board, then so was DuBois
- of course, Ilyukhina pulled the dying woman card, cmon she deserved to get her make a wish dream come true, and after a while the pair acceded
- they agree on a spiral sun design, and Eva suggested getting it on their wrists (so every time she makes a decision, she'd remember what they're all fighting for)
- they get it done together after a UNGA meeting, of which Ilyukhina vlogged the whole time, and posted an image of their wrists in a circle
- the image goes viral and is part of the reason Grace's students find out he's officially part of the task force
- ROSCOSMOS is forced to remove their unofficial rule barring tattoos after that post
- despite the official Hail Mary logo, the sun ends up becoming a major symbol for the Petrova Task Force
- adding onto my sea legs hc, once when Grace was unable to attend a pr event for the flight crew, Eva had to lean on Annie and Olesya for support, and a photo was taken of both astronauts holding onto either of the woman's hands as she walked down a flight of stairs in heels
- which also went viral; while people joke about Ryland being Eva's lapdog, Annie and Olesya are joked as being her sunlit knights in spacesuits
- Olesya learnt of party buses from Martin and Annie, and gained a new goal of forcing the crew to do drunk karaoke on a speeding (within limits) bus
- Eva, after weeks of requests, finally relents only because her birthday was coming up
- she of course was dragged along with the rest of the crew, but did not participate in the singing
- despite the naysayers, Yáo can be a good singer when he's not three drinks in and is singing in Mandarin, Olesya takes advantage of that fact and busts out perfect Mandarin in her duet with Yáo
- they do a poor rendition of Happy Birthday in Russian (Stratt does join for this alone, her accent far better than the rest, but she blends her voice to avoid being heard, despite that Olesya heard her and if she weren't so tipsy would've filmed it)
Ok, inspiration credit goes to @beloved13579 for having such an amazing brain, but I'm combining their "Simon calls Grace 'Angel' as a title out of fear, like 'Sir' or 'King'" and my hybrid AU, along with like, SEVERAL headcanons I have (not all are mentioned here, some will be thrown in in later posts) :)
Tags: BloodyMary (obvs), religious trauma, fear, mild internalized homophobia if you squint, language barrier, repressing feelings, outbursts, hurt/comfort
Edit: there's a Grace POV now... Hope y'all enjoy :)
Simon being trapped, barely conscious, in the tree he tried so hard to save. The eel being just as conscious. Essentially sharing a body via the tree means they don't need to speak to hear each other. The eel berates him, telling him that only the light- the angel- can save him now, and he should be grateful if it ever chooses to.
The tree, meanwhile, has been searching for somewhere safe for the human who risked and paid everything to survive, to save the seed it grew from. It finds a haven in a not-so-distant universe, on a planet that doesn't exist in their universe.
Simon wakes up in a soft bed, hearing something like English, or Martian? It sounds... Biblical. Like the passages Father would read from that old book that was barely holding on, that had been digitized when the spine finally fell apart, and the holy book itself was made into fertilizer for the Last Tree.
He looks around, seeing clean, new equipment. An IV drip in his arm. He can still hear that ancient voice, but it's mixed with musical notes. He looks towards the open doorway, really just an arch to mark where one room ends and the next begins, and sees what must be the Angel that the eel wouldn't stop shouting about. It's humanoid, but it has golden wings, matching the gold hair on its head, looking like a halo.
Simon's eyes are wide, something is beeping rapidly, the Angel turns to him, looking... Worried? No. Maybe annoyed. But surely the Angel wouldn't be worried about the Butcher. Even if the Angel had decided that he'd repented for his sins in life, he has to behave now that he was in heaven. Or maybe it was somewhere between, while the Angel and God decided where to put him.
The Angel is checking him for something, he doesn't know what, but it's talking a lot, in the old English he barely understands.
"Hey, hey it's okay! Take a breath, okay? Can you do that?" The Angel asks, and Simon understands that it's not really a request, and he's glad he can understand enough to know what to do. He sucks in a breath, and let's it out harshly. Earning praise from the Angel and a request order to do it again.
Eventually, Simon's calm enough to actually listen to the Angel, understanding slightly more than before now that he's focused on listening instead of panicking. The Angel's name is Grace, as if it weren't already obvious that what's in front of him is his Devine Judgement. He tries to speak the Angel's language, introduce himself to his terrifying Savior. But his words are choppy, or slurred. It's been years since he's said a prayer or hymn.
The Angel is forgiving, smiling at him kindly, and thanks him for telling it his name, as if he had a choice.
A few days pass. The Angel is patient, letting Simon recover at his own pace. He supposes that redeeming a soul takes more work than just suffering for who knows how long; he has to be rehabilitated in order to be allowed inside heaven, even if this space already feels heavenly.
He learns how to speak English more fluently and, despite the Angel's protests, only gives him more epithets and titles.
Angel, Savior, Healer, Teacher. Sometimes, Simon thinks he could find a way to use Lover, if he were brave enough, if he truly thought the Angel loved him, instead of performing a duty.
The Angel doesn't seem to mind Teacher as much as the other titles, but it he says he still doesn't like how Simon says it, even though Simon doesn't know how else he could say it.
"Like a teacher is something to be feared. I don't want you, or anyone for that matter, to fear me. I'm a human, like you. No better or less." Simon's Savior would say, but he's just being humble, just like an Angel.
Simon breaks a rule once, almost a month in, and he begs forgiveness. He admits his transgression and hopes for but does not expect his Savior's mercy. He does not cry. Not until he's met with gentle touches and kind words and understanding and complete, utter forgiveness.
His Angel (his Grace, as he's come to accept that he's not an actual angel, but the last known avian hybrid was killed before Simon was ten, so this is still undoubtedly the afterlife) forgives him without a second thought, seeming mortified by the idea that they would cast Simon out over "something as small as not finishing his food."
Food, and water, and fresh air are in abundance here. But Simon still can't take them for granted. They could be taken from him at any time. Even if his Savior's name means mercy, he shouldn't expect it. Even as time passes he learns how to relax, how to play with the tiny living pebbles, and how to talk with the larger living rocks. He knows how to live here, he could do so forever and be happy.
He plays along, but Simon can't believe his Healer when he says he saved the stars and planets. That humanity is alive on Earth, only 16 light-years away.
His fear lessens, but doesn't leave him, not completely.
It's only after months of this that he's relaxed enough for his mind and body to start processing all of his trauma. He has nightmares. Night after night. Waking in a cold sweat and breathing heavily. He refuses to ask his Grace for more help, though now he knows it would be given not just willingly, but happily.
One night is particularly bad. He's woken up by something-someone? And his first instinct is to attack, thinking it's that damned eel again, or maybe one of his more violent cell mates.
But it's Grace. His Grace. His Angel. His blood runs cold. He's spilled enough of it, he didn't want to spill any more, and especially not Grace's. Never Grace's. And now his nose is bleeding, and the sight of blood on his Savior's face sends him reeling. He reaches out to touch, to hold, to comfort, to help the way Grace does often when Simon scrapes himself in the garden, and stops short when Grace flinches away.
Grace's eyes are glossy, shining with unshed tears. Hurt, betrayed, and Simon is sure he looks no better, but he swears to never be the cause of that look ever again- if he's ever forgiven for hurting something so holy. Permitted to stay in this equally terrifying and relieving plane of existence.
He mumbles and whispers apologies, his throat closing up as he tries to beg, curling in on himself, hoping his Healer will give him enough grace to leave him there, to not punish him, not yet, because surely this deserved punishment.
Just as the first time he had begged forgiveness, his fear and guilt are met with kindness. A soft voice, if a bit stuffy, and a gentle touch that he can't resist leaning into, desperate for that very human comfort of skin on skin. He feels soft wings wrap around him, shielding him from the world and, perhaps, judgement.
Maybe his Grace has begun to love him, enough to shield him from judgement. It must be a risky move, even if he's technically not an angel.
Armando patches Grace up, and they're both so tired that they collapse on the couch together.
Simon wakes in Grace's arms, both of them wrapped securely in those gorgeous wings. He can't bring himself to wake his Grace, not when he's being held so tenderly, like he's something precious and loveable. His time here had made him want more than he ever has before. He wants things he shouldn't be thinking of. Simon is selfish enough to know he's not worthy of such treatment, but he savors it anyway, hoping to stay like this for the day.
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big big big fan of platonically, horrendously codependant grace & stratt.
like it starts with sharing passwords and whatnot, but then they have the keys to each others' rooms. grace is glued to her side like they're conjoined twins. she brings him along to meetings to science translate like he's her emotional support dog. he brings her lunch because she always forgets. they both fall asleep working in one office or lab or another all the time.
eventually they straight-up form their own way of communication. grace can say something on the same level of incomprehensible as "carl and i made a baby" and stratt will respond with some obscure hand gesture, and both of them will completely understand. they hold entire conversations like that. one day ilyukhina pops her head in the door to ask grace a question, witnesses this, and wordlessly backs away. she'll ask dubois.
there's a betting pool going on on whether they're hooking up, but one day someone finds out that grace is aroace or something, and it becomes immediately and violently clear that something much more concerning is going on with them.
