beverage enthusiast

it is actually so important to me to be alone at my house

[the most low energy you have ever seen me] we’re about to go crazy mode

as a child i assumed that martha’s vineyard was a fancy private vineyard owned by martha stewart and the reason rich people vacationed there was because they were friends with martha

using my christian baby to hold down some papers but then the rapture happens :/

you knocked it out of the park with this one

in my little pony universe youd go to a job interview and theyd be like so how does your cutiemark reflect your dedication to this position. And every time youd have to spew some bullshit about how your cutiemark of two tennis rackets actually means youre a team player and good at multitasking and view the market like a playing field. or whatever. and you wouldnt even get the job

Thanks to Equestria v Sugar Sprinkle, cutie mark interview questions are considered hiring discrimination, so if anypony asks you any cutiemark related questions or even alludes to any questions about your cutiemark such as "In your own words, describe your life purpose" you can and should refuse to answer. Know your rights, ponies.

the year is 2035. the new beauty standard is for women to cut their ears off, as ears are a masculine trait which make the face look too big and hearing isnt necessary as it doesnt align with being demure. evil feminists say perhaps this is unnecessary and ears are natural. women are agressively proclaiming they are cutting their ears off due to sensory issues

one thing about me is i’m gonna go lay down

im swimming at the lake and accidentally kicked a fish. this has never happened in my many years of swimming. sorry man

no post has ever altered my brain chemistry as much as "can only you see the time being?"

sorry for the nervous breakdown everyone im actuallt fine because i have to be

*leaves

where are you going

my writing gland is purple and swollen