VOTED TUMBLRS MOST FLAMMABLE BLOG 10 YEARS RUNNING

i am as happy as a cheese in a burger

kfc mobile app automatically put in my order under the name Nasty Ned and i cant change it can someone kill me expeditiously please

earlier this year 2 boys got expelled from my school for going on a teachers email and sending another teacher an email that says “you’re a disgusting little man” and i laugh about it all the time because imagine opening an email from your coworker and thinking it’s important and then it says that

Society should forgive the occasional diva moment

My anthro professor has three forbidden words for his essays: problematic, interesting, and large. Point being they’re all filler words, he wants you to just skip straight to why it’s interesting or why it’s problematic. But anyway, any time I disagree with him in class I say to him “mm, interesting, but largely problematic.”

hi I’m the computer. You’re not getting that.

my names sweetie 3000 because the last 2999 sweeties were all destroyed

Why is it referred to as coming out of the closet? 

It could be coming out of anything. What wasted potential.

Coming out of my cage and I’ve been doing just guys

month starting on a monday we have no excuse guys lets get to work and lock the fuck in

yk its actually very chic and avant garde to start on tuesday the second

many claim theres nothing more subversive and revolutionary than starting on wednesday the third

UNGRATEFUL tech companies are saying things like "turn off your ad blocker" and "we need your photo id" instead of "thank you so much for not just pirating our shit, youre so handsome"

this lettuce smells like dog

you bought dog lettuce

"Peggle make phone calls" has become shorthand for "fuck it, whatever" for me but no one ever knows what im talkingabout and it's also longer (longhand?)

fuuuuck my pet peeve got loose